To Rebekah; A Tribute

Nearly two months ago, my husband’s beautiful youngest sister passed from this life into the World Beyond. Eternity is the place we all long to go if we know Jesus, but for those of us left behind, it always seems too soon to say goodbye.

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This was a tribute that Ben and I wrote as part of the family tribute, read at the funeral service:

Rebekah Suzanne Yoder, 18, was a beloved daughter, sister, aunt, and friend, who was entirely devoted to serving her Lord Jesus with her whole heart and life. She accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior at a young age and lived her days in serving others.

Bekah was full of life and laughter, and filled with passion and integrity and purity. She was not satisfied with the status quo, but wanted to live a life of meaning and purpose for the glory of Jesus. Her relationship with Jesus was her rock through the challenges she faced in her life, and gave her the strength to live with joy.

The meaning of Rebekah’s name is “Captivating”, and she truly was that captivating beauty to the people in her life. Her striking blue eyes and blonde hair made her a natural beauty, and her sparkle of life made her a joy to be around. “Suzanne” means “Graceful Lily” which brings laughter, because she often joked about how clumsy she was.

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She lived her life poured out for other people, for her family and her friends and those around her. She loved deeply and unconditionally. Those who knew her loved her ready smile and warm hug, and felt her warmth and kindness. She was a friend to everyone, and loved the girls in her youth group, and took special interest in those much younger and older than herself too. Bekah was a good conversationalist, and made people feel special and that they mattered, no matter who they were. Bekah wasn’t a person to be in the spotlight, but rather wanted to be talking with people around her, interested in their lives, and focusing on other people.

Relationships were so important to her, and as the youngest in her family of 9 children, she treasured her family and loved to spend time with them. She spent a week at the beach with her mom and sisters for several years in a row, and loved that time of deep connecting. Many memories were made and are treasured, times of laughter and sharing and enjoying each other. She also loved her brothers and brothers in law, and respected them and was quick to ask their advice about decisions she was making.

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Bekah 2

She was a friend to everyone, from the elderly to the little children, and was especially close to her two nieces who were born within a few years of her. She was a sweet aunt to her 18 nieces and nephews, and spending time with Aunt Bekah was always looked forward to. She was quick to sit down and read books to them, bring them into the kitchen with her, welcome them into the milk booth at market, or take them out to the barn to help with chores (even when it meant it would take her longer to get her things done J). Being babysat by Aunt Bekah was extra-special.

Bekah loved to laugh, and her sense of humor brought laughter to many people. She especially liked puns and play on words. She loved being in nature and at the ocean, and enjoyed music and playing the guitar and had a beautiful singing voice. Her choice in music sometimes brought laughter from her family and friends, because it was quirky and unique, but she liked it even if she was the only one.

The Word of God brought special richness and meaning to her, and what fueled her passion to live a meaningful life that matters in eternity. She was a deep thinker, and thought much about life and God  and people. She journaled about her relationship with Jesus, and wrote about her desire to see Jesus face to face, just the day before she passed.

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Rebekah felt deeply, and was sometimes so saddened by the sorrow and pain around her, by a world that is aching with the choices of self and sin, and even by her own imperfections and things she wanted to change in her own life.  What joy for her now to never again feel the aching of pain, but only know perfect joy, of laughter untainted by even a hint of sadness.

Some of Bekah’s dreams for the future included going to Beaver Lake Camp this summer as a counselor, and then attending an online college called Eternity Bible College, began by Francis Chan and some others. Her dreams also included marriage and children, and she had some lovely pictures saved as inspiration for those days. We drew from those pictures and requested the casket spray resemble the bridal bouquets she loved.

Bekah’s life is a true testimony to the fact that one life can make a difference, that one life matters, no matter where someone lives, or how young they are, or how short they lived. Rebekah lived deep and rich. Some people may say it is a shame that she passed from this life in the prime of her life, but in light of eternity, what a more precious time to enter eternity than in her most beautiful time, only to bloom forever in the perfect Home of Heaven. Our tears are not for Bekah: our tears are for the deep loss we feel by the aching hole she is leaving behind. But for Bekah, we feel only the purest joy, because there is no doubt that she is in the presence of Jesus. She is experiencing what we were all made for, in a place that is the truest Home anyone can know if they are followers of Christ. Bekah is experiencing LIFE as it was truly meant to be.

Our loss is incredibly deep, and the pain is overwhelming, but we want to celebrate with Bekah. She lived her life in preparation for her Heavenly Bridegroom, and kept herself pure in preparation for the Heavenly Wedding Day. That day has come, and she now knows truer Love than she could ever have known on earth. This is not how we would have expected a wedding day to be like, but for Bekah, it is the sweetest it ever could be. She is fully alive, at this moment, being delighted in by the Lover of her soul.

Bekah wanted her life to point to Jesus, and to be a reflection of His beauty in her. And sweet girl, well done. Well done.

____________________________

This song was played following the tribute, and reflects so beautifully our life on earth, and our waiting for the Wedding Day.

 

Bekah visits 007

[This picture was taken about two weeks before she passed, when she spent a week with us after little Jack was born.]

 

gone a little before us.

 

It’s been almost three weeks now, since I became an auntie to the most beautiful, perfect little baby boy. My first nephew.

Not a one of us ever even had an idea of what these weeks would hold ~ weeks we thought would be brimming full of joy, and excitement, and wonder at a new little life, turned into weeks overflowing of tears and sorrow and how can this be true.

They have been weeks when the grief washes over and over us, like waves at the ocean, never stopping, just sometimes bigger waves than others.

I’ve been so excited about my first niece or nephew arriving on my side of the family. Ervina’s Southern Maternity shoot was taken last fall when she visited us to excitedly document 20 weeks of pregnancy, and I had so much fun preparing little clothes and accessories for the little love. We were so in love with that sweet baby, even before meeting him.

I come from a long line of baby-lovers. And by that, I don’t just mean the women gushing over a baby. But in my dad’s family, even the men absolutely adore babies. They are seen with a baby in their arms as often as the mother is, talking in sweet tones, chuckling and teasing and adoring. And I have to say, my brother-in-law Kenny topped even that. I had never seen a father-to-be more excited about his baby! So many people talked about his excitement.

When Ervina comes to visit 557

The day finally came when my sister went into labor, and at a checkup before heading to the hospital came the shocking, gut-wrenching news, “Your baby is not alive.”

There is nothing in the world that can prepare someone for words like those. All had been fine just one week earlier at the checkup, and even the day before the baby was moving. There was no warning sign at all that anything was wrong.

Little did we know, as Kenny & Ervina were preparing a nursery for their baby, the most beautiful nursery I’ve ever seen in all my life, that Jesus was also preparing a home in Heaven for their precious baby boy.

Little Kenneth, named after the man who was so proudly anticipating being his daddy, weighed 7 pounds, and 11 big ounces, and was 22 long inches. He was born on March 22, 2014, safe in the arms of Jesus.

Baby Kenny

[photo courtesy of Ervina Yoder]

Whoever knew that a little life could mean so much to us, to me? I am not even the mother, but my heart had all kinds of butterflies when I thought of that little baby joining the family. When he was overdue, I was trying to stay busy and occupy my mind because those six days seemed like an eternity! And now, the loss feels so so deep, a continual ache. And I’m just the auntie, not even the mother. My heart breaks for my sweet sister.

These are her words, about a week after his birth…

It’s been six days since Kenny and I found out we’d never get to see our precious baby boy, the delight and expectation of our hearts, take his first breath. The anguish of this has pierced our hearts beyond what we could have imagined possible. We’ve needed Jesus more than anything and have found Him to be so near, so faithful, so sufficient, so redeeming. We miss our son desperately, but through your prayers, words and presence, God has shown His comfort through His Body… we are humbled and grateful.

“I want you to know, brethren, that the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel.” [The Apostle Paul, Philippians 1:12]

We have been slammed headfirst into the Grace of God, as my sister Claudia speaks of it. That doesn’t mean the tears stop, or that the hurt goes away. But it means that the presence of God is so precious, He is so faithful. As big as the need, He is bigger still. Jesus is everything.

I spoke with Ervina about a week after the death and birth of her little son, and asked her how she can go on from here, what the anchor of her soul is through this. And her words were powerful and tender… “I don’t know why this happened, and it hurts so much. But, I know my God. I know Who He is, and even in this, I can trust Him.”

In times of deepest grief and tragedy, what truly is within a person comes out. And in Ervina and Kenny, there is a sweetness and strength even in the middle of the agony. The foundation of their lives was built on Jesus long before this tragedy ever happened.

We as a family are so grateful for Jesus, for the promise that He is good, even now. Even though our hearts are breaking in the loss of little Kenny, and seeing our precious sister and her husband walk such grief, we choose to believe Him, and trust His faithfulness to us.

the coming joy[ via]

Without the perspective of eternity, of a Sovereign God, life is hopeless. But Jesus makes all the difference in the world. He gives us strength to endure the pain of today because of the joy of eternity. One day, all tears will be wiped away, and one day, sweet little baby, we will be with you again.

we have not lost him.

Just about a week before the birth of little Kenny, I wrote this quote in my journal, being deeply impacted by the truth of it, and also deeply missing my friend Ruth. And now it touches me so much again, healing and ache all in one.

“We have not lost him, He is only gone a little before us. There we shall soon find him, and enjoy him again and forever – far more than we ever did in this life.” [E. D. Griffin ]

Yes, the loss is still felt so deeply, achingly so. But there is a perspective greater than the pain, that of Jesus, of the preciousness of eternity. For that better world to come, that HOME to come.

Eternity, and Heaven, are all the more real, and precious. We were not made for this world, for all the pain, for the sorrow and agony, for the effects of sin. There IS a bigger reality than what we can see: there is a Heaven, there is a Hell. And it’s real. The life we live here matters. The choices we make on earth matters. ETERNITY MATTERS.

Ten thousand more words could be written, and it still wouldn’t sum up the emotions, the grief, and the way God has carried us these weeks.

But we also want to say we are so grateful for the outpouring of support to our extended family, and especially to Kenny & Ervina. We are seriously blown away by the kindness and care of so many people. The body of Christ has become ever more dear to us. Thank you, thank you…

Please continue to take Kenny & Ervina to Jesus in prayer…

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