It has been a most precious month for me and my family!
First of all, last fall two of my sisters announced their pregnancies, and they happened to be due within a month of each other. :) And then my sister-in-law announced her pregnancy, right around the same time. I mean, seriously. It doesn’t get more fun than that!
There has been so much joy in anticipation of these little babies. I come from a long line of baby lovers, and there are few things are beautiful and precious and that bring such celebration as new little people entering the world!
Introducing: Canon Christopher, and Harrison Jude
(a.k.a. Most Handsome Little Babies on the Planet)
There was also so much prayer. Because of what happened to my sister’s first baby a year ago, we were reminded that life is such an amazing gift, and that we can take nothing for granted. Often we tend to think if a pregnancy goes past the first trimester then we can breathe a sigh of relief that everything is okay! But each new stage is such a precious gift, and each day is a gift to enjoy and bring life to the little one within.
I’m not even the mother of these new little babies, but I’ll be honest; it was a battle for me with trust vs. fear. We’ve walked through death of a little one with my sister and her husband’s baby, and realize that things do not always go as planned, or as expected. So even for me as a sister walking along with them, it was a constant choice I had to make to not live in fear of what could happen, but rather choose to trust and bring my fears to the Lord through prayer. There were no guarantees that these pregnancies would bring healthy babies full of life. There is never a guarantee in all of life! All we do know is that God is faithful, and that He can be trusted, no matter what we face. Even when what we face is death, and pain, and the deepest sorrow we can imagine.
Watching my sisters walk through their pregnancies has been so amazing. I may be the older sister, but my younger sisters amaze me, and challenge me. Of course they had moments of fear and being afraid of the unknown. Absolutely. But they chose to not stay in that paralyzing grip of fear, even though the outcome was not known. There were times an extra checkup happened, just for peace of mind if a baby wasn’t moving as much as usual. There were times when they asked for prayer because of the fear they felt. When a death has happened so close to you, you don’t just assume everything will be fine. But neither do you need to live paralyzed by fear. Fear can actually be a tool used for deeper trust, for a chance for the tears to fall and the hands to open in an “I choose to trust you, Jesus, even though I don’t know what is going to happen.”
I feel like I have learned so much from my sisters, from their walk of faith and trust through this past year. It’s not every big sister that can say this, but I can: my sisters are some of my heroes. Not because they’re perfect – because not a one of us is! – but because of how they choose to live and not give way to emotions and fears that could be so tormenting. So a shout-out to you beautiful ladies. I’m so proud of you!
And there is something so amazing about pain. Never in a million years would we ever choose for Little Kenny to have left us so soon. We still miss him, someone we never met or knew in this life.
But pain has a way of teaching us about joy too. Because while a new baby in the family would have been precious and brought joy anytime, after a time of pain, the joy only increases. We are made so much more aware of the gifts we do have, of the gift life truly is. Our heart is stretched to receive joy, to feel the heights of joy, to remember the sacredness of life. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much from happiness as I did when these two little baby boys were born, and all was well! And seeing my sisters as mothers, and their sacred but wild joy and love… It’s amazing. I can’t even describe it, but it feels like I’m walking on holy ground. The way God can work even in the middle of pain, even because of pain, is just amazing. Only God can do that – cause joy to become even deeper. I see it in my sisters eyes, even my sister who is not yet a mother. There is a deeper awe of the gifts we do have. A realization that life is precious, so so SO PRECIOUS.
I’m going to cry in my little corner of Starbucks now, just as I started crying when I was edited these pictures. I cannot even tell you how PRECIOUS these little boys are. If a heart could explode from sheer joy and love, we would all be dead and gone. Because there is so much joy and blessings – two little boys who will be almost like twins (born two weeks apart), their mommies were best friends since forever ago (and they never fought: I’m their sister, and even our mother says they never fought. How is that even possible? I’m trying to get my two daughters to catch that memo). It’s just so much wonderful.
It was so special to see these two little boys within a few weeks after they were born, along with my husband’s little nephew, who was born within days of little Canon. His was a bit of a scare, coming more than a month early, and we are so grateful that everything is okay with little Benson. Yes, there are babies everywhere! It’s the most wonderful thing in the world! I only want ten more of my own now.
Hudson meeting one of his little boy cousins.
And I never expected to have to
fight compete with my own daughters about who gets to hold the babies. For real.
I finally get to get to be Auntie Clarita! It is even more wonderful than I imagined.
So many thanks to those of you who prayed and celebrated with us! What a beautiful thing the body of Christ is!
And now I just want to go kiss these little babies!!