What a beautiful, quiet week it’s been, after a lovely, beautiful weekend with Christy. I’m still smiling. :)
Goodwill [out of all the cool stores in A___, we went to Goodwill! And wow, was it fun!] – and she warned me that she convinces people to buy a lot of stuff. And yes, she was right. :)
Starbucks Happy Hour – Peppermint Mocha Frap for her, and Mocha Coconut for me. And long, delicious conversations for us both…
Lovely times for our children to play together, our husbands to converse while they babysat so kindly… :)
Christy, it was a pleasure!
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Some time ago I alluded to the car birth of Olivia – I don’t even remember what the context was or why I referred to it. But several people have asked to hear the birth story. So, because this is her birthday week, and because I’m off to work on sewing projects, I copied and pasted the blog entry from two years ago, announcing her arrival!
Hope you enjoy! :)
—————————————————————————————
INTRODUCING… our [Roadside] Wonder!
WELCOMING OUR NEW BABY GIRL!!!
Olivia Caroline which means
‘Messenger of Peace and Joy’ entered the world
May 20, 2009
at
11:48pm
[proud, wonderful daddy with his second daughter!]
We are so blessed with a precious baby girl!! A baby sister for Zoe’, a beautiful little daughter for Ben and me!
I had forgotten how completely darling a newborn baby is! We are all just completely smitten with her, and are head over heels in love! She has done so well so far, eats and eats and sleeps! I just love to hold her, smell her, kiss her, hold her… A new baby is just as precious and innocent as can be.
My heart feels like it’s going to burst with the love I feel for my little family… My wonderful husband who has been such a supportive trooper through the past few days, my darling little girl Zoe’, my precious newborn baby. Any questions I had about whether I could love another child as well as the first have disappeared! The love that God gives a parent for their new child is just amazing!
[a few hours after birth]
Zoe’ has done so well in adjusting so far. I think largely due to her daddy really taking good care of her, making sure she is not overlooked in all the changes that are taking place in her little life. So far she has taken everything in stride. We had told her that mommy is going to have a baby, but weren’t sure how much she understood. But now that Baby is here, it seems like Zoe’s reaction is that, well, we had told her a baby is coming, and now she’s here!
She comes and wants to hold her, but isn’t overbearing like I thought she might be. After holding her for a bit, she says she’s all done, and then wants to go play. My parents and brothers are now here, and Zoe’ is just thrilled to pieces to have them here! I think all the action around here is helping her adjust well too. But wow, hard to believe my little girl is now the Big Sister!
[a lovely bouquet arranged for Olivia by Aunt Rebekah!]
The past few days have been rather eventful, as is any new birth entering the world! This birth had a few more unexpected twists than I was expecting, and I find myself thinking it surely must all be a dream! But this is what I remember of my ‘dream’…
Nutshell Version:
After 48 hours of labor, baby girl is born in car en route to birthing center.
Long Version: [and beware, it is detailed. This is for my extended family and friends, whom I can’t tell the story to on the phone due to time]
I was due on Tuesday, May 12, but the days kept passing on by, with me hoping I wouldn’t have to count much higher with each new day! With Zoe’ 11 days late, and now Baby Olivia a few minutes shy of 9 days late, I’m coming to the conclusion that I’m just a slow cooker – it takes me a long time to hatch a baby!
My contractions began Monday afternoon, and by 10pm were 5 minutes apart. Although getting close, they were bearable, so we decided to try to get some sleep and see what would happen. At 5am the next morning Ben and I were heading to the Birthing Center over an hour away with contractions 3-5 minutes apart and getting stronger.
We took Zoe’ to Grandpa Yoder’s on the way out, and arrived at the Birthing Center to find I was dilated to 4cm. That was encouraging, and we were told to head out to the town for one last “date” before the baby came and to walk around to encourage the labor. I was still able to walk and talk in between contractions, although I felt rather like a spectacle when a contraction came.
So we did! We went to Panera Bread for breakfast, and I was very relieved that it was a very slow morning in business for them! Then we went to the beach with the intention of walking for a while. By the time we got to the beach we were both so tired from not resting well during the night, so we tried to sleep in the car for about a hour. Rather uncomfortable while I was in labor, but I was so tired I managed to rest somewhat.
We attempted to walk along the beach, but that day was crazy weather for May, and it was very cold and so so windy, so we gave that up quickly and headed to the mall to walk instead. This was the midwife’s suggestion – I would never have dreamt of going to the mall during labor! WHAT in the world would people think??? She assured me that people are often in their own world and would probably never notice, until my contractions got really hard. So we walked and walked… and walked. A lot of window shopping going on, and objects suddenly became very fascinating as I’d suddenly have a contraction and try to breathe through it!
Mid-afternoon we headed back to the Birthing Center, labor was not getting much more intense and I was getting very tired from walking so much. We rested for a while again, and then tried walking again for several hours to speed the labor. Herbal tinctures and things would kick up the contractions for a bit, but I wouldn’t progress.
The problem was that the baby would not settle head-down. She had never “dropped.” With each contraction her head/body would try to go diagonal, then after the contraction would go more vertex. But she would not settle in the vertex position, which made the contractions ineffective, no matter how hard they were.
By evening I was wiped out from being in labor so many hours already, and my contractions were slowing down because of that. We were advised to either get a motel for the night [to relieve the pressure of being at a birthing center] or just go home and see what would happen.
We ended up going home, although we were told by the nurse that when the baby does right herself, that things could happen very fast, and she was concerned about a car birth! But as slow as things were going, I never thought once more about it, even though she gave me a plastic bag to hold the placenta would we need it!!
I was a weeping, wailing wreck on the way home! My poor, dear husband! I would collect myself, only to have another contraction hit, and then I’d start crying all over again! Completely exhausted from having contractions for almost 24 hours already, plus this day was my sister Claudia’s birthday and I was so hoping my baby would be born then! I was already a week overdue and the thought of already being in labor 24 hours and not being able to dilate past 4 cm was completely overwhelming.
We tried to sleep through the night as much as possible. My body was so tired that the contractions slowed to about 20 minutes apart, which allowed me to rest in between them. When I was laying down, they came about 20 minutes apart. When I was up and walking around they would come about 5 minutes apart.
The next day we had a chiropractor appointment to try to straighten the baby, hearing that sometimes chiropractors can do things like that, and we were desperate. I thought my bag of waters was leaking as well, so we went to the Birthing Center afterward to check that out. Somehow, they weren’t able to detect that it really was my water leaking, [even though I was leaking quite rapidly] and I was sent home again. Ben asked if it would be crazy for him to go back to work the following day, and the midwife thought that would be okay, since this labor could drag out for quite a bit more time.
All this time I was having contractions anywhere from 5-20 minutes apart, and was becoming so exhausted from not being able to sleep well for several nights.
It was Wednesday evening by this time, and we hadn’t seen Zoe’ since Tuesday morning, so we went to Ben’s parents’ house for supper and to spend some time with Zoe. We found a very happy little girl who was taken care of so well! She loves spending time at Grandpa’s house, and seemed to be having a great time! I think it was harder on me than on her to be away from her so long! I was very uncomfortable physically because of leaking so much fluid plus the contractions.
My contractions started coming 3-5 minutes apart again, and it just annoyed me because I knew the baby still wasn’t in the right position, which made the contractions basically ineffective in progressing the labor.
We called the midwife and told her that my bag of waters was indeed leaking, quite rapidly. She said that from that point on we had 24 hours to have the baby, or we had to go the hospital. Regulations. We could either return to the Birthing Center that night, or be there at 7am the next morning to try to get things going again. I was so tired I couldn’t bear the thought of trying to labor through the night, so we returned home. Again.
Ben tried to call a nurse friend who has worked labor/delivery for years, and were not able to get a hold of her. He left a message.
The next 24 hours looked overwhelming to me. Wednesday night at 10pm marked the point of being in early labor 48 hours, and I was completely exhausted. I didn’t know how in the world I was going to be able to have this baby! And knew that if the labor did not progress and the baby did not turn, that a C-section was still a possibility. If Ben would have given me the go-ahead, I would have opted for that right away, just to get the labor over with!
But we returned home. Ben rubbed my feet to try to help me relax as much as possible, and my contractions were still coming about 5 minutes apart.
We got into bed around 10:30pm, and shortly after got a text from Lois, the nurse friend, who had just got the message, and said we could contact her if we still needed something. Ben went out and called her, and while he was talking I felt the baby’s head move. Definitely move, as if something seemed to click into place.
Immediately I went into HARD, active labor, with contractions back to back. Ben heard that something was different, and came running back to see what was going on. He was still on the phone, and told Lois to come over as soon as possible. She lives about 2 miles away and was there in just minutes. She saw what was going on [me, rocking on the floor!], checked me, and I was dilated between 6-7 cm. She told us we need to head out as soon as possible, and she was going with us. She grabbed a couple of towels just in case we needed them, and we were literally running out the door as fast as we could after getting out of night clothes.
The Birthing Center is an hour and fifteen minutes away, although this time I think Ben would have done it in one hour. He was driving as fast as possible, but trying to be as safe as he could! I was in the back seat, trying to make it through the contractions that were coming back to back with hardly a break.
I was since looked back and just laughed and laughed, because my normally calm, collected husband was more worked up than I have ever EVER seen him! He was in the front seat shaking, praying, saying this was his nightmare coming true, and all sorts of funny things!
About 40 minutes into the trip, I heard Ben tell Lois that he was afraid he had to stop for gas! In all the trips to and back from the Center [over an hour one-way] we had tried to stay filled up, but this was the one trip that mattered and he didn’t think we’d be able to make it the whole way there! He stopped for gas – or more accurately, screeched the car to a halt, jumped out, and pumped a gallon as fast as a human being ever pumped. Meanwhile, my labor only intensified, and I called/moaned, “This baby is coming!!” At a gas station at that.
Lois jumped in the back seat with me, Ben jumped in the front after getting just a bit of gas, and we took off again. But the baby was indeed coming, and Lois told Ben to pull over as soon as he could find a lighted area, he needed to deliver this baby!
The first place we came to was about 3 miles down the road, a Hampton Inn. We must have been quite a sight, and I’m so glad it was around midnight vs. the middle of the day, because this area normally got a lot of traffic!
[picture taken the following day, and this was actually written on their sign!]
So Ben wheeled into the parking lot, squeezed into the side of the car with Lois, and two minutes and two contractions later,we had a baby girl! :) All the birthing equipment we had and needed was bath towels!
Lois was an angel from the Lord that night… I have since looked at the whole timing of her contacting us and Ben being on the phone with her as just simply DIVINE. She was so calm and knew just what to do, and although the car situation was far less than ideal, she was just wonderful through it all! I feel like I just can’t sing her praises enough!
After a few minutes of making sure the baby was okay, and she was a wonderfully healthy baby, we continued the trip to the Birthing Center. Ben and I were alternating crying out of relief and happiness and laughing at the sheer crazy wonder of it all!
In all the shuffle of the baby coming so far, we had lost the one cell phone we had between the three of us. So we weren’t able to call anyone until we arrived at the Birthing Center, and Ben ran in and told the midwife that, well, the baby was already here!
[in the car, approximately 15-20 minutes after birth. Notice the car seat base just pushed to the side!]
[still in the car, cutting the cord after we arrived at the birthing center]
And that, my friends, is the story of our Roadside Wonder, as Ben calls this Baby! :)
Mother’s Day has come and gone. I’ve been trying to write a post for the past week, and it’s finally happening… after the day is over. :) That’s okay. There were other things more important than blogging.
Reflecting this year on Mother’s Day…it’s a day of much love and warmth for many people, and also of much sadness for others. There is celebration of what is, and of good times past. Then I think of women who long to be mothers, and are not. Of children who have lost mothers to death. Of sons and daughters who did not have a loving mother. Of mothers who did not want to become mothers, and how unprepared and inadequate they feel for their role.
When we were driving home from church we passed a small cemetery, with several people scattered around, standing before gravestones. This is a day of tears.
This is a bittersweet day for many people.
[a little note from Zoe, helped by a cousin, and fresh flowers picked on a walk together]
This was my 4th year of being a mother (including the first year when Zoe was still en utero). The morning of Mother’s Day this year was an early one, because of us hosting for lunch, but I had a few moments of quietness before the busy started.
These four years have flown. It seems not long ago that I held new-born Zoe in my arms, after 9 months of carrying her with anticipation and trepidation, a few seconds after her birth, after THE most painful experience I ever encountered in my life… and I fell in LOVE. Instantly.
[Here I go down Memory Lane… Warning: I have baby fever. :) Cute baby picture overload!!]
[Zoe at 10 days old]
[Zoe at 4 months]
[Zoe’, at approximately one year]
[eighteen months]
[almost two]
[age two]
[age three]
[Zoe today]
[Olivia, soon after birth]
[two weeks old]
[fiesty from the start :) ]
[four months]
[six months]
[eleven months]
[one year]
[eighteen months]
[Olivia today]
[from long ago]
What a privilege these four years have been. Incredibly life-altering, forever, because a mother is something I’ll always be.
It’s not just that my external circumstances and duties have changed, that my journals get scribbled in by curious little onlookers who want to write like mommy, that my days now revolve around caring for the needs of miniature little people, and scrubbing pencil marks off doors [like today].
But WHO I AM has been greatly impacted, bettered, softened, and sharpened. Truly, my children are changing ME and making ME grow up! I’d say in my later teens years and early twenties I thought of myself as a fairly unselfish, patient person (cough). Not perfect, but definitely with strengths in those two areas (cough). Now, four years into mothering, I think I must be one of the most impatient, selfish people around! Children show up the yet-to-be-redeemed areas of my life like a screaming fire engine!
I’ve been thinking so much of a lovely luncheon I was invited to in Pennsylvania by sweet Janelle, hosted by Jeane’. It was so lovely to see Rachel there too! Fan Smucker, a mother of four, who has “gone before us” on this mothering journey, spoke to the 11 women present about being a wife and mother. This was pampering and inspiration that spoke to me in the very depths of my soul! I have rarely had the opportunity to be in the presence of an oldER (not to be confused with ‘old’!) woman in person who is encouraging and inspiring younger women. Online, yes, and that is a huge encouragement as well. But there is something about being in the presence of a godly older woman, and in the presence of other young mothers, who are nothing but life-giving!
Since then I’ve been thinking about Unsung Heroes, my thinking stimulated largely by the luncheon I mentioned above.
The morning spent at the ladies luncheon felt like a Red Letter Day in my career as a mother. Truly, it was inspiring and encouraging beyond what I can even express! There was something that clicked, something I understood about mothering and servanthood like I never have before. I hope I keep having revealing moments like these!
This is an excerpt from my journal the morning after:
“My heart cannot stop glowing from the amazing time I was blessed with yesterday morning! Rarely, if ever, have I been in the presence of so many passionate, devoted wives and mothers. I cam away feeling so inspired and empowered, having so much truth spoken into my heart…”
Twelve women, all mothers. Leaving behind almost forty children. But all women that are passionate about being mothers, that love their role as a wife and mother, that embrace their husbands and children, that view their roles as noble and honorable and worthy. That are not ashamed or embarrassed to be “just a stay-at-home-mom”, but rather thrive and flourish in that role. Beautiful women, fashionable, attractive, but with an inner glow that radiated from their faces. Women that first of all loved their Jesus.
[a Mother’s Day lunch Ben and I prepared for his family on Sunday]
[the red flowers were the seats for the mothers]
[decor: old records as chargers, burlap runner, pint-sized jars as glasses [because I didn’t have enough normal drinking glasses], and real live magnolias!
[fresh squeezed strawberry lemonade]
I suppose I hadn’t realized how inundated I’ve been with negative connotations about mothering. From comments at the grocery store about how busy I must be and how stressful it is to have children to all the undercurrents of feminism and careers and how woman needs to “find herself.”.. These are everywhere, and even in Christian circles mothering is often looked upon as something not as good as _______ [fill in the blank].
Fan Smucker, the speaker (which isn’t an exact term, because it felt more like huge doses of encouragement rather than formal speaking), gave one quote that grabbed me, and has had me thinking on it ever since…
MOTHERHOOD is a noble calling,
and noble callings always take sacrifice.
But that’s what makes a HERO!”
[fan smucker]
On the 12-hour trip back to the south I was driving for a few brief moments while Ben and the girls were sleeping.
(We left at 3am, lest I portray some unrealistic picture of my two daughters angelically sleeping the entire trip! Even leaving at that hour doesn’t usually give us normal sleeping time.)
And I was thinking about the Hero quote. Thinking about how different my idea is from God’s idea of a hero
Mine has normally been huge, world-changers – Hudson Taylor, Mother Theresa, Moses, Daniel, David, Ruth, Esther… Amazing people, with amazing roles. And quite frankly, I would have loved a large role to fill too.
[Ben’s Mother’s Day gift to me was several hours at the beach on Saturday as a family! Does he have good taste or what!?]
[my only picture from the weekend with me and my girls. ’tis very sad. the day was lovely, but too busy for pictures!]
But I’ve really been rethinking my former ideal of a hero. And I’m beginning to think now that a hero is not necessarily one who plays the Main Role in the world, or even one who is noticed by many people.
Rather, I think a real Hero is one who surrenders unconditionally to the call of God in salvation and in all of life after that, and then lives faithfully and unselfishly in whatever role God has called them to play. Some people will be called to more recognizable places; others will not.
But recognition is not what makes a Hero!
I think of the words ‘faithfully’ and ‘unselfishly’, because for so many of us our roles are not glamorous. Our days consist of much of the same thing, day after day. But if God calls us to it, then that makes it worthy, valuable. So often ambition to be a hero is marked by selfish motives – to be someone who is looked up to and admired, and spoken of as someone who is amazing.
I had wanted to be single for a long time so I could accomplish a lot of great things for God. Big things! Admirable things! And things that some people are called to.
But I was not called to that. I was called to be a wife at age 22 and a mother at 24, and to live my life in poured-out service for my family, primarily though not exclusively. This is something that I’ve found much fulfillment in, but honestly, I still need to fight the voices that argue that careers make a woman more well-rounded, and what about taking time for yourself?!, and the negative connotations about being “just” a stay-at-home mom (just try it for a day and see if you’ll say “just”. I’ve had grown men tell me a full-time job was MUCH easier than taking care of a child for a day!).
Until recently, I hadn’t realized how much negative I’ve heard about children. Could someone please stop me at the grocery store and say how wonderful it is to see two beautiful girls with their mom, instead of the “sure must keep you busy!” comments? ‘Children’ and ‘stressful’ are often used in the same sentence to describe each other. A mother who chooses to stay at home often feels like she has to apologize for not having a “real job.”
Sitting around the beautifully adorned brunch table at Jeane’s home that Friday morning, I felt like I was in the presence of amazing, UNSUNG heroes. Incredible women, all mothers, but more importantly, all life-givers.There is a difference.
There were former musicians, actresses, women involved in politics, teachers. It was an amazing, dazzling array of talent and giftedness.
[my “flowers” – I tell Ben I’d rather have a Starbucks drink than a bouquet, and he believes me! This makes me very happy. :) ]
And the incredible thing was these women whole-heartedly and open-heartedly received their husband and children into their lives. They glowed when they spoke of their husbands and families (no mean husband jokes here!), and they adored being a mother. They did not feel inferior about being “just” a mom of 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 children – rather, they flourished in their roles. And I thought to myself how incredibly blessed their families were, to have women in their homes who were so intelligent,so gifted, and so unselfish and loving.
I see this same spirit in the lives of several single women I know; Dani, Krissy, and Beth. This life-giving spirit. Their life focus is not in careers or money, although one in an incredibly brilliant college student, another a web designer, and the third held a good job as well. But they are living their lives as poured out for Jesus by pouring them out for children that no one else takes the time for. They live so unselfishly, so faithfully in the roles God has called them to.
I think of my mother, who is a mother of six children, who has her own home business, who has a beautiful gardens and grounds, who taught school for more than 20 years in both private and home school settings. She has lived her life poured out for the lives of her husband and children. She is a team player with her husband, and a cheerleader for her children. While I was home for almost 3 weeks we were working together cleaning one day, and she sort of apologized that her walls weren’t always clean and spotless like some people’s walls are. I was flabbergasted that she even thought of such a thing, and responded that as kids we didn’t think about whether the house won Best Housekeeping awards or not, but we knew Mom’s efforts were about raising and loving a family, and we knew that and appreciated that so much. Unsung? Perhaps. But a True Hero.
I think of the Children of Israel who were slaves in Egypt for over 400 years. I’m sure thousands of men would have wanted to be a Moses, and thousands of women would’ve wanted to be his cheering sister, and lead all the slaves to freedom. How would you like it if your life plan included being born a slave, living a slave, and dying a slave? That’s anguish. That’s not easy. But those slaves, during that period of time, were fulfilling God’s will. (these thoughts come from “The Cat & Dog Theology” seminar). H.a.r.d. stuff.
What if fulfilling God’s will means being in an accident so an unbeliever finally surrenders? Or what if God’s will for you means losing your mother at age ten, or your daughter at age two? [disclaimer: I’m not wanting to start an argument about what God wills and what God allows; please follow through with me here.] What if it means packing up your family and moving to the other side of the world (or what feels like the other side of the world), or staying where you’ve always been when you’ve always desperately wanted to do something big? Or having ten children or no children?
How conditional is my surrender? How UNconditional is my surrender? I think a Hero can have so many faces. What makes a Hero in one person will not the same in another person. A true Hero is fully surrendered to God, and to the glory of God, even when the purposes are not fully discloses and understood. It’s not about us; it’s about GOD.
I don’t think a Hero is about doing some big thing, or even about doing the thing you always thought you’d have to do to succeed in life. I think a Hero is about faithfulness, whether we are called to Asia or Canada or a little town in the United States. It’s not about our marital status and how many children we do or do not have ~ it’s about being faithful and poured out for the lives of other people, no matter where God has placed us.
It’s about a heart of surrender to the Lord, a heart that is willing to sacrifice anything – dreams, goals, ideals, plans – in order to follow what is is HE is asking of us.
So really, what makes a Hero is not so much what a person does (which makes me breathe a sigh of relief!), but who a person is, inside, in their heart of hearts, even when no one sees (and that makes me stagger at the weight and the freedom of that!). And the question I feel God asking my heart is, “Are you willing to be an Unsung Hero? Unsung, but nonetheless a Hero?”
A true Hero is one who lives a life os complete abandonment to the Lord; regardless of role differences, regardless of public or private or no recognition. A Hero may be sung or unsung, but the unsung are no less of a Hero than the sung. Perhaps they are even more of a Hero, because it’s harder to be unsung.
Today, the challenge of God to my heart is to be one who is fully surrendered, who is consumed with the glory of Jesus, and not the status of my own life… And not just be surrendered, but to embrace the life that He has called me to…
UNSUNG HEROES.
I am honored to be one of the many. And yes, there are many sung and unsung heroes that I am so privileged to journey with in life! If I’d name names the list would be endless! Thank you, beautiful women.
How do I even begin to recap the few weeks in Pennsylvania? I feel lost for words (even though I could talk for hours about it if you’d only listen! :)), and am afraid to even start listing all the wonderful people I saw, and met, and spent time with, for fear of leaving someone out!
In the almost-6 years since moving away, this trip back “home” was the best one ever. The no-work for Ben was really a huge blessing in disguise, because otherwise we never would have been able to spend almost 3 weeks reconnecting with friends and family! I left with a happy smile on my heart, the warm memories of time spent with precious people… Sadly, I have few pictures of my time up north. What I do have is mostly of my children, and I now regret not carrying my camera with me everywhere, as I often do!
An incomplete list of lovely persons seen…
… My dear family, whom we stayed with. And we also got to be in on the exciting new beginnings of my sister, Jana and Anthony! :)
… Ben’s two sisters and brother, and two beautiful little cousins, Josephine and Mariana! Mary Jo gave a darling little tea party for the four girls one morning, and the girls were all waltzing around like princesses! It was so cute!
… a morning with my good friend, Rebekah, and our 6 children!
… THE Thelma Musser, of fruitloops115!! A very fun playdate for the kids, and a very lovely time with her and other old and new friends! And I even got to see her house, which is even MORE amazing than her amazing before/after pictures! That was such a treat to be with you, Thelma! Thank you!
… an incredibly delicious dinner, and even more wonderful time spent together with Shelly… a very dear friend of mine!
… lunch spent together at Aliza’s beautiful bed & breakfast, along with my dear friend Ruth. 6 years ago the three of us met monthly for Bible Studies and there were no children present. Okay, take that back. Aliza was with child, but no children out of the womb! On this lunch date, between the three of us, there were seven children present. And we’re not finished having kids yet. ;)
… then there was Barnes & Noble with my brother David, and Prince Street Cafe and Rachel’s Creperie with my mom and sisters, and a double date with mom & dad, and Goodwill shopping with mom, and a date with just Ben, and a visit to Jen Smucker’s lovely Pottery Barn-style home, time spent with Grandma…
… and I was invited by sweet Janelle to a most amazing spring luncheon, hosted by Jeane’, and lovely Rachel was present as well! Fan Smucker, a mother of four, who has “gone before us” on this mothering journey, spoke to the 11 women present about being a wife and mother. This was pampering and inspiration that spoke to me in the very depths of my soul! I have rarely had the opportunity to be in the presence of an older (not meaning ‘old’!) woman IN PERSON who is encouraging and inspiring younger women. Online, yes, and that is a huge encouragement as well. But there is something about being in the presence of a godly older woman, and in the presence of other young mothers, who are nothing but life-giving!
… and I’m realizing how many of my friends blog, after linking them here! Such a great way to keep in touch with people so far away!
… and I said that was an incomplete list, because it is. :)
My soul was nourished by the time I spent with all those dear people! My 2.5 weeks were packed with relational joys, and I feel like an incredibly, incredibly blessed woman to have spent time with so many wonderful people!
2.5 weeks in Pennsylvania.
Then a day after returning home I got hit with a bad case of strep throat that had me in bed for a week, and recovering for a week after that.
Now it’s a week later, and goodness, I’m not sure I remember how to blog anymore. :)
So I’ll just chatter, I guess. About things I’ve been thinking the past few weeks…
And add of bit of the flora and fauna that we had earlier this spring.
About how we’ve been tested in the whole department of choosing gratitude, as I wrote about in my previous post. Choosing to see the blessings I’ve been given, I must admit, in the past few weeks have been a stretch.
We returned back to the south because there was work here for Ben again. That was a huge relief, knowing that at least for a month there would be work. I remember thinking, “Whew, it’s going to be SO nice that he can put in full weeks again, after not having steady work for about two months. We can finally catch up a bit financially.”
That was probably the arm of flesh, depending upon itself. :) And over the next few weeks I realized again our complete dependance upon God, and also His faithfulness to us. Because a full week of work still hasn’t been in the picture since we returned 3 weeks ago. Not because work hasn’t been available, just, well, other things.
Like me getting strep throat, and Ben taking off a day of work because I was so sick I couldn’t function. Throw my two doctor’s visits in there, an injection, two kinds of antibiotics, and I was finally feeling better. I don’t know what we would have done without Ben’s younger sister to help care for the girls for several days over that time. Oh, and Olivia’s trip to the doctor because of terrible mouth ulcers.
Then a few days later Ben got strep throat, from me passing on the highly-contagious virus. Insert doctor’s visit for him, an injection, and antibiotics… We have health insurance, but it only covers medical emergencies, and nothing of the above.
You get the picture. Not exactly the financial strides we were hoping for! I remember praying and thinking, “God, surely there is something to be thankful for in all of this, but right now I’m so sick I can’t see it!”
But God was faithful. And there was enough money to pay bills and put food on the table.
[quote on mirror from Leslie Ludy]
Then came the news of the devastating tornadoes in north Georgia, Alabama, and Tennessee. And there was an opportunity for some of the men from our church to go up for a day and assist with manual labor, helping local residents in any way they could. And both Ben and I felt like he should go, and he wanted to go. No, there hasn’t been steady workweek for him lately, but we have a roof standing over our heads and were not even touched by the destruction that completely wiped out whole areas. We felt like Ben going would be offering our gratitude to the Lord for the many blessings He HAS given to us, even in a time where we feel stretched ourselves. And giving in that way is so much more heartfelt when it requires personal sacrifice. So Ben went, and blessed, and gave.
And God is faithful. There is enough of money to pay bills and put nourishing food on the table.
And then there is the walk of faith in the future that we’re excited (and maybe a bit nervous) about. It’s called Ellerslie. We have dreamt and prayed, and doors are opening. Ellerslie was founded by Eric & Leslie Ludy as a discipleship training school in Colorado, in 10 week semesters. Lord willing, Ben and our little family plan to attend in October for one semester. It’s still 5 months off, but with a family, these kinds of things take a lot more planning than the fast decisions of a single person! :) We were accepted in January, so have been thinking of this for a few months. Ben will be a student, and I will be a supportive wife and loving mother. :)
But all this comes at a time when it really is a walk of faith. We are beyond excited about this, and know that actually going will be well nigh to a miracle because God is leading us to go at a time when it really hasn’t been stable financially. I realize that we are in a minority of people that has been extremely blessed in the western world, but even so, not having steady work for several months doesn’t seem to be the most “safe” time to go. :) But that is where God is leading us, and we are confident of His faithfulness!
After just the first couple months of adventure God had us on this year, the next months look exciting! :)
[our personal flora and fauna :) ]
[first spinach from the garden]
Sooo, that’s a little bit of what’s been happening. And I’ve been seeing God’s faithfulness in huge ways in our lives.
Despite challenges, despite things out of our control, HE IS faithful. His faithfulness is not dependent upon everything in our little world going well. He supersedes that, and cares for us well in every season. And I am so grateful to love such a God!
~clarita
p.s. more to come later on the lovely past-trip… it was too long to combine into one post! my heart is full and overflowing from such a splendid time with dear family and friends!
I am writing from a cozy, reddish-burgandy chair in the fireplace corner of my parent’s living room in Pennsylvania. The rain is pounding outside the window, and the wind is blowing in great gusts. It reminds me of the hurricane weather that we get the effects of in Georgia. But it’s a very cozy sort of day! A morning where I don’t feel guilty at all, sitting curled up on a chair with a blanket and hot coffee. :)
[my father and Olivia]
[Zoe, reminding me of Dick & Jane :)]
The past few weeks have been a quick change of plans, due to various circumstances. About two months ago, Ben’s employer informed him that there wouldn’t be much work at all for the next 6-8 weeks. That was a big gulp for us – not that it had anything to do with his employer, but work in general has been slowing down very much in our area, and we knew we were finally feeling it now too.
So in those 6-8 weeks there was some work that trickled in, and well, some days there was nothing. Ben had work probably 50% of the time, maybe a little more, due to little odd jobs popping up – which were not happenstance at all, but God’s provision for us.
[Pennsylvania has THE greatest Goodwills and consignment shops! I was more delighted than the girls with these finds there. :)]
But two weeks ago he learned that there was nothing at all for the next two weeks. Meanwhile, my dad had offered him a temporary job would he need work. So, in the course of 1-2 days, we decided to load up our suitcases, jump in the car, and head up north. We thought we’d stay a week – we’re ended up staying two.
It’s been a great arrangement, and we are feeling incredibly blessed. Blessed by the work that God has provided for Ben through my dad. Blessed by the leisurely days of time with my family that normally feels so rushed when I come back home. Blessed by the friends and family that I’ve seen and have yet to see. Blessed by the snow on 4/1 ~ I think it was God’s April Fool’s joke. :) Just blessed by so many things….
[snow on April 1 in Pennsylvania]
[Absolutely delighted little girls! Zoe groggily came down the stairs that morning and peered out the window. “What’s that white stuff?” she mumbled through sleepy eyes. Then she audibly GASPED and said, “IS THAT SNOW??!” :) It was precious. Her excitement was contagious, and we went out and played in all the one-inch delight of it!]
[we were so unprepared for snow! she got so cold in her pajamas, spring jacket, and sock mittens! but was she ever excited!]
I’ve been thinking lately how my quality of life is affected so much by our perspective on life. By how we view things. By how we see God in it, rather than seeing only the hard things…
I thought of it when I texted my neighbor, Lauren, one morning on her way to work, telling her I was thinking of her. I knew she had a huge detour to make on the way due to a forest fire in the neighboring town. She has a little girl, and leaving for work on a normal day is early. Leaving for work on a day where the drive takes an hour longer than usual is even earlier. But I loved her perspective when she texted back, saying that yes, the drive was long, but at least she had a house that was standing, and a family that was not suffering from smoke inhalation…. I love how she chose to see the good things that day…
I think of it when Ben doesn’t work much work, when pennies are pinched tighter than usual, when runs to the grocery store are mostly milk and eggs, and menus are planned around economical things instead of trying out new gourmet recipes. Hard? No, not really. Challenging? Sometimes.
But I really don’t think that I know what hard is. Hard is not eating eggs and casseroles instead of a French I-can’t-pronounce-it-food. [Not that I make many French-sounding things at all anyway! Ha!]
[a bag that we saw while perusing/window shopping… isn’t it so great – out of a burlap coffee sack? i would love to make a similar one]
What hard is, is losing a family member… …is having an earthquake wipe out a huge area of your country… … is having a tsunami wash your children out to sea, never to be found again… …is never ever feeling loved, by anyone…. … is feeling like there is no safe place on earth for your heart… … is having your house and all your sentimental treasures burn to the ground, and be left with only the clothes on your back… …is having not a bite of food for your children and watching them starve before your eyes… … is having your country ravished by a people that seem more like savage animals than human beings… … is being homeless, and having no where to go at night except a warm grate or a kind shelter.
Work for us hasn’t been steady, but you know, we are really so so blessed. God has been faithful to provide for us. We aren’t starving. At all. We might not have an abundance of material things, but we DO have an abundance of vast blessings of so many kinds!
I think there is so much emphasis placed on introspection that we can easily lose our attitude of gratefulness. We can get so caught up in the things that don’t go right and that have gone wrong that I forget to thank God for the many many things that are incredible blessings. In our North American/western-world mentality, we can get so upset about the things that go wrong, not realizing that on a bad day, we have much more than 80% of the world on their best day.
There is definitely a place for introspection, for being real about life and the hard things we face. I’m not discrediting that. I love people that are real and when asked, “Hey, how are you?” can answer honestly, “You know, my day is just rotten.” Or, “The last few weeks have just been HARD.” But what I don’t like is when people stay there. Their whole lives. And they can never get past the bad and the rotten.
It feels like God is calling me out and asking me to look for the blesssings that are sometimes in disguise. Not in a fake, pretensive way. But in a way that is calling me to look beyond right now, and trust His heart for today. Trusting that He sees the bigger picture. Fearless trust. And the more He calls me into this, the more I realize how little I know about trust. About fearless trust. But I want to live that way.
I want to live wanting GOD more than I want my life to be a certain way. I want to want God more than things to go well. I want God more than an easy life…
Perspective ~ choosing to see God in my days… Choosing to be grateful. Choosing GOD in the little moments of my days, those defining moments that could threaten to ruin my day or walk forward with more knowledge of His faithfulness… So help me, God!
So in the general perusing of yard sales while in Florida several weeks ago, I happened to glance upward and my eyes met the giant prongs of a fork. Giant fork. About 6 feet tall.
Yes, a fork.
I’ve been on the look-out for a fork ever since seeing the gorgeous fork/spoon gigantic canvas’ in Pottery Barn’s catelogue. But am I going to spend $300 on them? Um, no. Never.
And in speaking with the garage-seller-woman selling this cutlery, she said she paid over $100 for it; she told me I can buy it for $10. Ten! I hugged it tightly, working out my biceps in the process, carrying around the 20 pound fork. [Yes, I am aware of how out-of-shape that makes me sound! :)]
[Let me just insert here, that I am a sucker for things that are a bit different. Wierd, if you will. Eccentric, even. Whimsical. Unique, as in, you-can’t-just-buy-it-at-Walmart kind of decor. I am quite aware that this sort of thing makes some people uncomfortable, and if that’s you, that’s okay. This is just me!]
But this was not just anyfork! Oh no. This is that same fork that the storied Paul Bunyan of old ate from, I’m quite sure of it! He is not a tale after all, folks! Here is the proof – his fork alone is taller than I!
[I couldn’t help myself, beaming with my new-found treasure! Even though he really was quite a challenge to fit in a vehicle and bring him 6 hours safely home.]
Of course, being that old and full of folk lore, the dear old thing needed a bit of TLC.
A fresh coat of paint on him and a loving new owner (who will be content to merely look at him with warmth rather than use him to eat with) and he looks like new. Or wait, better than new. Because new is overrated anyway. He wears his age well.
He stands guard over the chalkboard in the dining room for now. I thought of placing him sentinel over the long window, but my rods are mounted too high, so he stands at attention here for the time being.
[should have fixed the falling-down greenery ]
Oh, the stories he would have to tell, would he be given a voice!
And that’s my ten-dollar treasure of the month! The smallest things make me happy. :)
~clarita
p.s. a correction on my previous post: “La Dulce Vita” should actually be spelled, “La Dolce Vita” – just in case anyone else paints theirs incorrectly on a wall. Not that I would know…
edit: p.p.s. more information on the ‘La Dulce’ Vita from my previous post: the way I had spelled it is the Spanish version; the ‘La Dolce Vita’ is the Italian version. Just to be technical here, in case you see it spelled both ways!
I’m sitting on my front porch once again. There is a gentle breeze blowing the hanging ferns, a few cars going past our street, but I mostly hear singing birds and happy children at the park across the street. Days with such beauty as this make me feel as though I could live outside! And indeed, we do spend most of our waking hours out of doors.
The girls have been making mudpies out of the bare patches of sandy yard, and Zoe and I have been playing frisbee [which makes us laugh until we bend over because neither of us are any good]. We’ve been reading books on my fire-red bench. I’ve been editing pictures on the computer while watching the girls play in the yard, and blowing out imaginary candles on the mudpie-birthday cakes they make them for me, while they sing “Happy Biiiiiiiiiiiiirthday, dear yoooooooouuuuuuu….”
We are trying to soak in this weather while we can, because probably around the time you northerners get a chance at beautiful spring weather, we’ll be sweating bullets outside and trying to stay in the a/c as much as possible. Our enjoyable outdoor weather is normally about a month in the spring and a month in the fall, so when it’s that time of year, we try not to lose a minute!
Husband is talking of pitching a tent in the backyard this weekend. The fun of camping without the work of camping. You know, make the kids’ entire year without the inconvenience of walking 1/2 mile to the restroom in the middle of the night, or of dragging all the household bedding 50 miles away, or even of getting all the food stuff packed and ready and wonder if I have everything I need. Pancakes made inside, and eaten on the porch? Yes, please. The fun of camping without the exhausting work of camping? Yes, please!
I keep thinking though, of how extremely blessed I am. I can’t stop thinking of the tragedies in Japan, of the seven children who died in a house fire in Pennsylvania [even if I didn’t know them], and of just so many awful things that are happening in the world. I’m not paralyzed by fear for myself; I’m overcome with, “Why me, God? Why am I so blessed when so many people of the world suffer so incredibly much?” It’s almost overwhelming to think of… I want to always be grateful for the many things God has given me, and not take them for granted ~ and yet that’s a prayer I must pray every day, because it’s so easy for me to forget!
I painted a little saying on my front porch recently: “La Dulce Vita” – which means, “The Sweet Life.” I don’t have it there because I think my life is perfect, because it’s not. I don’t have it there because I want people to think I have to together, because I don’t and don’t ever want to even give that impression. I have it there for ME ~ so I can look at it, even in my worst days, and remember how blessed I am. That my life is sweet. Remember all that God has done for me.
And speaking of blessings….
I’ve been wanting to post some pictures of the week with the females in my family. Yes, I do have a father and two brothers ;) but this was “just for girls!!” as Zoe emphatically told her Uncle James. Trying to sort through the 400+ pictures and choose just a couple [because I know my tendency to post WAY more pictures than necessary] was quite a task. I can’t say I chose just a couple in the literal sense of the word, but when you compare 20 pictures to 400 pictures, I’d say that’s “a couple.” :)
This was a very special time together for all of us. Well, perhaps I shouldn’t speak for everyone. Maybe someone felt differently about it. :) I’ll just speak for myself… With me living 12 hours away from my family and trips home only coming about twice a year, and with my sister Jana moving 12 hours away in a completely other direction and knowing seeing her will be more infrequent than it even has been, well, I really treasured this time. Let me say one thing: if someone has all your family around you, treasure it!! You are a rare percentage, and few people have that privilege! :)
These are my three lovely sisters, whom I simply adore. We look all poised and posed…
… but this is what we usually look like! We laugh so often, so much, and so hard when we’re together!
Also included in this vacation was my mother, and grandmother. I also live 12 hours away from my only living grandmother, so this was so very special to stay at her winter home and spend time with. And so special too that my daughters could spend time with her and learn to know Grandma Susan more personally than just the one-hour coffee-in-her-kitchen when I go back home. (home is both north [where I was born and raised] and south [where I moved after I got married], just in case anyone is confused yet! :)
My Aunt Grace and cousin Catherine, who live in yet another state, overlapped with us in Florida by a day and a half ~ if anyone knows Grace, you know she is the epitomy of her name! Just a sweetheart!
My little daughters enjoyed the rides given by Catherine in the big basket of a three-wheeled bike! :)
Sooo, what does a family of four daughters, a mother, a grandmother, and two granddaughters do for almsot an entire week together? Well, for starters, we talk late into the night… every night. And at the end of the week there are still things to talk about together and things we didn’t cover.
We spend time at the Ocean. After all, we were in a coastal city. How could we not visit the ocean? :)
But since I’m not overly fond of exhibiting ourselves in beach attire, and because we like original pictures, we took a few pictures at the ocean that are suitable for viewing. :)
In order of age, except the last two are switched: myself, Jana, Ervina [last], and Claudia [second to last]
Being in the presence of such beauty for a week was incredibly inspiring. And I don’t just mean physical beauty, even though I think my sisters are as lovely as anyone could ever be. :) But these girls are just so full ofJesus, and being around them challenges me in the very depths of my soul. There was a time when I felt like the oldest, you know, the one who was more in a leader-type of situation simply because of my age in the family. But now, I look up to them! They are the ones who challenge me, and press me on to Christ…
Zoe and Olivia loved the sand, the ocean, and the whole beach experience! I, for one, so enjoyed having children at the ocean who were past the sand-eating stage. Zoe literally ran for miles every day, and fell into bed completely exhausted at bedtime!
Apparently we hadn’t been at the beach for quite a while, because on the way Zoe asked me if she could make a snowman there. “Sure, a sandman!” my sister Jana quipped. :) Zoe had some sort of mix-up between what you can do with sand and with snow, even though she wasn’t in snow this winter either.
But who remembered that sand castles could be so much fun?! Normally the sand creations are left to the males in the family, but since there was none around, the lot fell to me. And it really was fun. Who would have thought? Especially when Catherine found a starfish to use as our front door decoration.
Aunt Claudia is SO fun, my girls think… And I know!
What else do a large number of female family members do together?
We have Breakfast at Millie’s, the absolute darlingest, quaintest, most wonderful-tasting breakfast place of anywhere I’ve been. Whenever I visit Sarasota, we make sure to have at least one breakfast there!
Their apricot-stuffed French Toast is a melt-in-your-mouth, take-me-to-heaven-now experience.
However, entertaining young children who have somehow not yet acquired a taste for the finer things in life was a bit of a challenge. Thanks to our dearest friend, Dawn Falb Stoltzfus [who we happened upon in Florida and all were surprised out of our wits], who joined us on this very lovely day, she provided Thomas trains. Actually, my girls played with her son’s trains and he played with my daughters animals. The swap turned out nicely.
Outside of Millie’s. All these people came from Grandma Susan… and this is just the females of ONE family. :) It’s a bit startling to realize how many people could come to be because of me!
And another four-generation picture. These pictures are so special! I know the backdrop has much to be desired, but how very precious is this for my daughters to spend time with their great-grandmother, who is in wonderful health and takes the time to play with them? So precious!
We also went to Panera Bread, and Starbucks. Because when one lives faaaaaaaar away from those places, one can’t resist visiting, at least briefly, can they now? :)
But the most delicious meals were made at Grandma Susan’s house. Breakfast almost every morning was this delicious bowl of yogurt, granola, and fresh fruit, with secret ingredients on top. :) My friend Bethany introduced this to me a year ago and it has become a staple almost year round for me!
And besides more talking, and reading at least 3 books each (at least for those without the two energetic children ~ she didn’t get through more than 2 pages), there was time made for a photoshoot. Well, actually, there was time made for two photoshoots, but well, we reached the location the first night when it was tragically too dark, but we won’t talk about that, because the amateur-photographer-wanna-be’s among us were quite devestated. :)
But we will talk about the one where all was well! And the lightings in the marina was enchanting. And the little boats pulled up on the shore very photo-op-ish.
Oh yes, and need I mention the wind was quite, um, quite very much especially windy? But oh well! :)
^^ I absolutely adore her little vintage dress I picked up at a yard sale. And it was even before yellow was cool. :)
Olivia Caroline, but she mostly goes by “Lovies.” So much so that when Zoe tries to call her by her given name, it usually comes out “O-love-ia”. :)
This picture is worth incredibly much to me. Zoe and her great-grandmother… just brings me to tears!
And some pictures of the sisters ~ there are four of us. And it is perfect. I want four girls too, just so my daughters can experience how wonderful it is! I truly cannot even imagine life without sisters, and I know I’m blessed beyond words to have three of them!
Warning: look out for yelling man telling girls to get off boat.
Thus, new location. New boat. :)
And thus the Happy Time of the Sisterhood was concluded. Quite sadly, because now there is no more trip to look forward to. Sometimes it’s almost sad to actually begin a trip that I look forward to for so long, because then I know it will soon end! But now I can relive the memories, and remember how blessed I am…
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