Family – Page 10 – Skies of Parchment

May 3, 2011March 20, 2013

A Faith Walk

Well, it’s been a while. :)

2.5 weeks in Pennsylvania.
Then a day after returning home I got hit with a bad case of strep throat that had me in bed for a week, and recovering for a week after that.
Now it’s a week later, and goodness, I’m not sure I remember how to blog anymore. :)

So I’ll just chatter, I guess. About things I’ve been thinking the past few weeks…

And add of bit of the flora and fauna that we had earlier this spring.

About how we’ve been tested in the whole department of choosing gratitude, as I wrote about in my previous post. Choosing to see the blessings I’ve been given, I must admit, in the past few weeks have been a stretch.

We returned back to the south because there was work here for Ben again. That was a huge relief, knowing that at least for a month there would be work. I remember thinking, “Whew, it’s going to be SO nice that he can put in full weeks again, after not having steady work for about two months. We can finally catch up a bit financially.”

flowers9

That was probably the arm of flesh, depending upon itself. :) And over the next few weeks I realized again our complete dependance upon God, and also His faithfulness to us. Because a full week of work still hasn’t been in the picture since we returned 3 weeks ago. Not because work hasn’t been available, just, well, other things.

Like me getting strep throat, and Ben taking off a day of work because I was so sick I couldn’t function. Throw my two doctor’s visits in there, an injection, two kinds of antibiotics, and I was finally feeling better. I don’t know what we would have done without Ben’s younger sister to help care for the girls for several days over that time. Oh, and Olivia’s trip to the doctor because of terrible mouth ulcers.

Then a few days later Ben got strep throat, from me passing on the highly-contagious virus. Insert doctor’s visit for him, an injection, and antibiotics… We have health insurance, but it only covers medical emergencies, and nothing of the above.

You get the picture. Not exactly the financial strides we were hoping for! I remember praying and thinking, “God, surely there is something to be thankful for in all of this, but right now I’m so sick I can’t see it!”

But God was faithful. And there was enough money to pay bills and put food on the table.

[quote on mirror from Leslie Ludy]

Then came the news of the devastating tornadoes in north Georgia, Alabama, and Tennessee. And there was an opportunity for some of the men from our church to go up for a day and assist with manual labor, helping local residents in any way they could. And both Ben and I felt like he should go, and he wanted to go. No, there hasn’t been steady workweek for him lately, but we have a roof standing over our heads and were not even touched by the destruction that completely wiped out whole areas. We felt like Ben going would be offering our gratitude to the Lord for the many blessings He HAS given to us, even in a time where we feel stretched ourselves. And giving in that way is so much more heartfelt when it requires personal sacrifice. So Ben went, and blessed, and gave.

And God is faithful. There is enough of money to pay bills and put nourishing food on the table.

And then there is the walk of faith in the future that we’re excited (and maybe a bit nervous) about. It’s called Ellerslie. We have dreamt and prayed, and doors are opening. Ellerslie was founded by Eric & Leslie Ludy as a discipleship training school in Colorado, in 10 week semesters. Lord willing, Ben and our little family plan to attend in October for one semester. It’s still 5 months off, but with a family, these kinds of things take a lot more planning than the fast decisions of a single person! :) We were accepted in January, so have been thinking of this for a few months. Ben will be a student, and I will be a supportive wife and loving mother. :)

flowers1

flowers2

But all this comes at a time when it really is a walk of faith. We are beyond excited about this, and know that actually going will be well nigh to a miracle because God is leading us to go at a time when it really hasn’t been stable financially. I realize that we are in a minority of people that has been extremely blessed in the western world, but even so, not having steady work for several months doesn’t seem to be the most “safe” time to go. :) But that is where God is leading us, and we are confident of His faithfulness!

After just the first couple months of adventure God had us on this year, the next months look exciting! :)

[our personal flora and fauna :) ]

laundry

[first spinach from the garden]

fresh salad

Sooo, that’s a little bit of what’s been happening. And I’ve been seeing God’s faithfulness in huge ways in our lives.

Despite challenges, despite things out of our control, HE IS faithful. His faithfulness is not dependent upon everything in our little world going well. He supersedes that, and cares for us well in every season. And I am so grateful to love such a God!

~clarita

p.s. more to come later on the lovely past-trip… it was too long to combine into one post! my heart is full and overflowing from such a splendid time with dear family and friends!

April 5, 2011March 20, 2013

Perspective and Gratitude

I am writing from a cozy, reddish-burgandy chair in the fireplace corner of my parent’s living room in Pennsylvania. The rain is pounding outside the window, and the wind is blowing in great gusts. It reminds me of the hurricane weather that we get the effects of in Georgia. But it’s a very cozy sort of day! A morning where I don’t feel guilty at all, sitting curled up on a chair with a blanket and hot coffee. :)

[my father and Olivia]

[Zoe, reminding me of Dick & Jane :)]

The past few weeks have been a quick change of plans, due to various circumstances. About two months ago, Ben’s employer informed him that there wouldn’t be much work at all for the next 6-8 weeks. That was a big gulp for us – not that it had anything to do with his employer, but work in general has been slowing down very much in our area, and we knew we were finally feeling it now too.

So in those 6-8 weeks there was some work that trickled in, and well, some days there was nothing. Ben had work probably 50% of the time, maybe a little more, due to little odd jobs popping up – which were not happenstance at all, but God’s provision for us.

[Pennsylvania has THE greatest Goodwills and consignment shops! I was more delighted than the girls with these finds there. :)]

But two weeks ago he learned that there was nothing at all for the next two weeks. Meanwhile, my dad had offered him a temporary job would he need work. So, in the course of 1-2 days, we decided to load up our suitcases, jump in the car, and head up north. We thought we’d stay a week – we’re ended up staying two.

It’s been a great arrangement, and we are feeling incredibly blessed.
Blessed by the work that God has provided for Ben through my dad.
Blessed by the leisurely days of time with my family that normally feels so rushed when I come back home. Blessed by the friends and family that I’ve seen and have yet to see.
Blessed by the snow on 4/1 ~ I think it was God’s April Fool’s joke. :)
Just blessed by so many things….

[snow on April 1 in Pennsylvania]

[Absolutely delighted little girls! Zoe groggily came down the stairs that morning and peered out the window. “What’s that white stuff?” she mumbled through sleepy eyes. Then she audibly GASPED and said, “IS THAT SNOW??!” :) It was precious. Her excitement was contagious, and we went out and played in all the one-inch delight of it!]

[we were so unprepared for snow! she got so cold in her pajamas, spring jacket, and sock mittens! but was she ever excited!]

I’ve been thinking lately how my quality of life is affected so much by our perspective on life. By how we view things. By how we see God in it, rather than seeing only the hard things…

I thought of it when I texted my neighbor, Lauren, one morning on her way to work, telling her I was thinking of her. I knew she had a huge detour to make on the way due to a forest fire in the neighboring town. She has a little girl, and leaving for work on a normal day is early. Leaving for work on a day where the drive takes an hour longer than usual is even earlier. But I loved her perspective when she texted back, saying that yes, the drive was long, but at least she had a house that was standing, and a family that was not suffering from smoke inhalation…. I love how she chose to see the good things that day…

I think of it when Ben doesn’t work much work, when pennies are pinched tighter than usual, when runs to the grocery store are mostly milk and eggs, and menus are planned around economical things instead of trying out new gourmet recipes. Hard? No, not really. Challenging? Sometimes.

But I really don’t think that I know what hard is. Hard is not eating eggs and casseroles instead of a French I-can’t-pronounce-it-food. [Not that I make many French-sounding things at all anyway! Ha!]

[a bag that we saw while perusing/window shopping… isn’t it so great – out of a burlap coffee sack? i would love to make a similar one]

What hard is, is losing a family member…
…is having an earthquake wipe out a huge area of your country…
… is having a tsunami wash your children out to sea, never to be found again…
…is never ever feeling loved, by anyone….
… is feeling like there is no safe place on earth for your heart…
… is having your house and all your sentimental treasures burn to the ground, and be left with only the clothes on your back…
…is having not a bite of food for your children and watching them starve before your eyes…
… is having your country ravished by a people that seem more like savage animals than human beings…
… is being homeless, and having no where to go at night except a warm grate or a kind shelter.

Work for us hasn’t been steady, but you know, we are really so so blessed. God has been faithful to provide for us. We aren’t starving. At all. We might not have an abundance of material things, but we DO have an abundance of vast blessings of so many kinds!

I think there is so much emphasis placed on introspection that we can easily lose our attitude of gratefulness. We can get so caught up in the things that don’t go right and that have gone wrong that I forget to thank God for the many many things that are incredible blessings. In our North American/western-world mentality, we can get so upset about the things that go wrong, not realizing that on a bad day, we have much more than 80% of the world on their best day.

There is definitely a place for introspection, for being real about life and the hard things we face. I’m not discrediting that. I love people that are real and when asked, “Hey, how are you?” can answer honestly, “You know, my day is just rotten.” Or, “The last few weeks have just been HARD.” But what I don’t like is when people stay there. Their whole lives. And they can never get past the bad and the rotten.

It feels like God is calling me out and asking me to look for the blesssings that are sometimes in disguise. Not in a fake, pretensive way. But in a way that is calling me to look beyond right now, and trust His heart for today. Trusting that He sees the bigger picture. Fearless trust. And the more He calls me into this, the more I realize how little I know about trust. About fearless trust. But I want to live that way.

I want to live wanting GOD more than I want my life to be a certain way. I want to want God more than things to go well. I want God more than an easy life…

Perspective ~ choosing to see God in my days… Choosing to be grateful. Choosing GOD in the little moments of my days, those defining moments that could threaten to ruin my day or walk forward with more knowledge of His faithfulness… So help me, God!

~clarita

March 16, 2011March 20, 2013

Reuniting of the Sisterhood

I’m sitting on my front porch once again. There is a gentle breeze blowing the hanging ferns, a few cars going past our street, but I mostly hear singing birds and happy children at the park across the street. Days with such beauty as this make me feel as though I could live outside! And indeed, we do spend most of our waking hours out of doors.

The girls have been making mudpies out of the bare patches of sandy yard, and Zoe and I have been playing frisbee [which makes us laugh until we bend over because neither of us are any good]. We’ve been reading books on my fire-red bench. I’ve been editing pictures on the computer while watching the girls play in the yard, and blowing out imaginary candles on the mudpie-birthday cakes they make them for me, while they sing “Happy Biiiiiiiiiiiiirthday, dear yoooooooouuuuuuu….”

We are trying to soak in this weather while we can, because probably around the time you northerners get a chance at beautiful spring weather, we’ll be sweating bullets outside and trying to stay in the a/c as much as possible. Our enjoyable outdoor weather is normally about a month in the spring and a month in the fall, so when it’s that time of year, we try not to lose a minute!

Husband is talking of pitching a tent in the backyard this weekend. The fun of camping without the work of camping. You know, make the kids’ entire year without the inconvenience of walking 1/2 mile to the restroom in the middle of the night, or of dragging all the household bedding 50 miles away, or even of getting all the food stuff packed and ready and wonder if I have everything I need. Pancakes made inside, and eaten on the porch? Yes, please. The fun of camping without the exhausting work of camping? Yes, please!

I keep thinking though, of how extremely blessed I am. I can’t stop thinking of the tragedies in Japan, of the seven children who died in a house fire in Pennsylvania [even if I didn’t know them], and of just so many awful things that are happening in the world. I’m not paralyzed by fear for myself; I’m overcome with, “Why me, God? Why am I so blessed when so many people of the world suffer so incredibly much?” It’s almost overwhelming to think of… I want to always be grateful for the many things God has given me, and not take them for granted ~ and yet that’s a prayer I must pray every day, because it’s so easy for me to forget!

I painted a little saying on my front porch recently: “La Dulce Vita” – which means, “The Sweet Life.” I don’t have it there because I think my life is perfect, because it’s not. I don’t have it there because I want people to think I have to together, because I don’t and don’t ever want to even give that impression. I have it there for ME ~ so I can look at it, even in my worst days, and remember how blessed I am. That my life is sweet. Remember all that God has done for me.

And speaking of blessings….

I’ve been wanting to post some pictures of the week with the females in my family. Yes, I do have a father and two brothers ;) but this was “just for girls!!” as Zoe emphatically told her Uncle James. Trying to sort through the 400+ pictures and choose just a couple [because I know my tendency to post WAY more pictures than necessary] was quite a task. I can’t say I chose just a couple in the literal sense of the word, but when you compare 20 pictures to 400 pictures, I’d say that’s “a couple.” :)

This was a very special time together for all of us. Well, perhaps I shouldn’t speak for everyone. Maybe someone felt differently about it. :) I’ll just speak for myself… With me living 12 hours away from my family and trips home only coming about twice a year, and with my sister Jana moving 12 hours away in a completely other direction and knowing seeing her will be more infrequent than it even has been, well, I really treasured this time. Let me say one thing: if someone has all your family around you, treasure it!! You are a rare percentage, and few people have that privilege! :)

These are my three lovely sisters, whom I simply adore. We look all poised and posed…

… but this is what we usually look like! We laugh so often, so much, and so hard when we’re together!

Also included in this vacation was my mother, and grandmother. I also live 12 hours away from my only living grandmother, so this was so very special to stay at her winter home and spend time with. And so special too that my daughters could spend time with her and learn to know Grandma Susan more personally than just the one-hour coffee-in-her-kitchen when I go back home. (home is both north [where I was born and raised] and south [where I moved after I got married], just in case anyone is confused yet! :)

My Aunt Grace and cousin Catherine, who live in yet another state, overlapped with us in Florida by a day and a half ~ if anyone knows Grace, you know she is the epitomy of her name! Just a sweetheart!

My little daughters enjoyed the rides given by Catherine in the big basket of a three-wheeled bike! :)

Sooo, what does a family of four daughters, a mother, a grandmother, and two granddaughters do for almsot an entire week together? Well, for starters, we talk late into the night… every night. And at the end of the week there are still things to talk about together and things we didn’t cover.

We spend time at the Ocean. After all, we were in a coastal city. How could we not visit the ocean? :)

But since I’m not overly fond of exhibiting ourselves in beach attire, and because we like original pictures, we took a few pictures at the ocean that are suitable for viewing. :)

In order of age, except the last two are switched: myself, Jana, Ervina [last], and Claudia [second to last]

Being in the presence of such beauty for a week was incredibly inspiring. And I don’t just mean physical beauty, even though I think my sisters are as lovely as anyone could ever be. :) But these girls are just so full of Jesus, and being around them challenges me in the very depths of my soul. There was a time when I felt like the oldest, you know, the one who was more in a leader-type of situation simply because of my age in the family. But now, I look up to them! They are the ones who challenge me, and press me on to Christ…

Zoe and Olivia loved the sand, the ocean, and the whole beach experience! I, for one, so enjoyed having children at the ocean who were past the sand-eating stage. Zoe literally ran for miles every day, and fell into bed completely exhausted at bedtime!

Apparently we hadn’t been at the beach for quite a while, because on the way Zoe asked me if she could make a snowman there. “Sure, a sandman!” my sister Jana quipped. :) Zoe had some sort of mix-up between what you can do with sand and with snow, even though she wasn’t in snow this winter either.

But who remembered that sand castles could be so much fun?! Normally the sand creations are left to the males in the family, but since there was none around, the lot fell to me. And it really was fun. Who would have thought? Especially when Catherine found a starfish to use as our front door decoration.

Aunt Claudia is SO fun, my girls think… And I know!

What else do a large number of female family members do together?

We have Breakfast at Millie’s, the absolute darlingest, quaintest, most wonderful-tasting breakfast place of anywhere I’ve been. Whenever I visit Sarasota, we make sure to have at least one breakfast there!

Their apricot-stuffed French Toast is a melt-in-your-mouth, take-me-to-heaven-now experience.

However, entertaining young children who have somehow not yet acquired a taste for the finer things in life was a bit of a challenge. Thanks to our dearest friend, Dawn Falb Stoltzfus [who we happened upon in Florida and all were surprised out of our wits], who joined us on this very lovely day, she provided Thomas trains. Actually, my girls played with her son’s trains and he played with my daughters animals. The swap turned out nicely.

Outside of Millie’s. All these people came from Grandma Susan… and this is just the females of ONE family. :) It’s a bit startling to realize how many people could come to be because of me!

And another four-generation picture. These pictures are so special! I know the backdrop has much to be desired, but how very precious is this for my daughters to spend time with their great-grandmother, who is in wonderful health and takes the time to play with them? So precious!

We also went to Panera Bread, and Starbucks. Because when one lives faaaaaaaar away from those places, one can’t resist visiting, at least briefly, can they now? :)

But the most delicious meals were made at Grandma Susan’s house. Breakfast almost every morning was this delicious bowl of yogurt, granola, and fresh fruit, with secret ingredients on top. :) My friend Bethany introduced this to me a year ago and it has become a staple almost year round for me!

And besides more talking, and reading at least 3 books each (at least for those without the two energetic children ~ she didn’t get through more than 2 pages), there was time made for a photoshoot. Well, actually, there was time made for two photoshoots, but well, we reached the location the first night when it was tragically too dark, but we won’t talk about that, because the amateur-photographer-wanna-be’s among us were quite devestated. :)

But we will talk about the one where all was well! And the lightings in the marina was enchanting. And the little boats pulled up on the shore very photo-op-ish.

Oh yes, and need I mention the wind was quite, um, quite very much especially windy? But oh well! :)

^^ I absolutely adore her little vintage dress I picked up at a yard sale. And it was even before yellow was cool. :)

Olivia Caroline, but she mostly goes by “Lovies.” So much so that when Zoe tries to call her by her given name, it usually comes out “O-love-ia”. :)

This picture is worth incredibly much to me. Zoe and her great-grandmother… just brings me to tears!

And some pictures of the sisters ~ there are four of us. And it is perfect. I want four girls too, just so my daughters can experience how wonderful it is! I truly cannot even imagine life without sisters, and I know I’m blessed beyond words to have three of them!

Warning: look out for yelling man telling girls to get off boat.

Thus, new location. New boat. :)

And thus the Happy Time of the Sisterhood was concluded. Quite sadly, because now there is no more trip to look forward to. Sometimes it’s almost sad to actually begin a trip that I look forward to for so long, because then I know it will soon end! But now I can relive the memories, and remember how blessed I am…

February 26, 2011March 20, 2013

Happy Spring Things

Happy Things…

… The first glimpse of spring on the maples!
The weather here has been divine – and coming from me, that’s saying a lot. :)

… Being involved a bit in a Widow’s Banquet our church did for ladies in the community.
These roses made me nostalgic for my former days at a florist shop…

… making some lace scarves. I just love the feminine lace & ruffles this spring!

… Finding strawberries on sale – fresh from Florida! – for seventy-five cents a quart.
I made 75 chocolate covered strawberries for the Widow’s Banquet, a few for ourselves, and made our year’s supply of strawberry jam!

… Friday night bike rides through the neighborhood. Chasing down an ice-cream truck we heard somewhere off in the distance, blaring “Yankee Doodle” until the poor driver must go batty, and finding the “truck” was actually a hippie van with ice cream pictures on the outside and a huge horn in the front. To say I found this amusing it putting it very lightly. :)

… The anticipation of tomorrow.
I’m going to be gone for a little while, because…

BECAUSE!!

I get to spend an entire week with some of my favorite people in the world…

My three beautiful sisters and mother and grandmother [and my two daughters]!

I live almost a thousand miles away from all of them, and rarely am able to spend more than just a lunch or breakfast with all of us together. So to be able to together for a week, in the sun, with all of them, is just beyond exciting.

My heart beats wildly just thinking about this!

Florida, here we come!

My sisters, my best friends.

And after that high excitement, I’ll be back. :)

~clarita

February 15, 2011March 20, 2013

Of Princesses and Pink Cupcakes

The past few weeks since the girls have returned to good health [after the two-week illness bout over Christmas] have been so wonderful. These are the kinds of days I imagined when I thought about what being a mom would be like one day in the far future. :)

… happy, giggling children
… happy chattering
… occassional fights, but nothing to disturb the day too greatly

[The Dining Room mantel]

However, I live in the real world like everyone else, so not every day is like that! [see previous post]

But the past few weeks Zoe has been over-the-top happy. As in, giggles after almost every sentence she says. At stuff that isn’t even remotely funny. Fits the perfect description of “chatterbox.” So sweet to her sister [well, except for when I’m on the phone catching up with friends I haven’t talked to in months; then, well…]. Just generally happy almost all the time. It really is quite amazing. Not that she wasn’t usually happy, but now she’s just gushy happy.

Olivia, on the other hand, is in rough waters with teething. Part of her sickness over Christmas, along with the flu, was getting all four eye teeth at once. Since finally cutting those, she’s still been sooo grumpy, and it dawned on me through a talking-with-a-seasoned-mom-moment that she is also cutting her 2-year molars early. Sooo, still working on better days with that poor child. At least now I have more sympathy. :(

[Anyway, that part was for my mom. :) It’s not like everyone else is interested in hearing about someone else’s teething child. But Nana? Yep. She’ll listen for hours. ♥]

Zoe has also been living in the imaginary world of being a Princess. This just thrills my heart, seeing the innocence, the core desires of a girl’s heart being voiced so unassumingly. “Mommy! Look at me! I’m a blue-ti-ful Princess!”

[She has a lisp, or a “listhp” :), but most of her words are pronounced correctly. But she always says, “blue-ti-ful.” And I think it’s so precious I’m not about to try to change it.]

There is no shame in voicing the question, “Do you like me, Mommy?” just to hear a reassuring YES along with a tight squeeze. Or in asking, “Am I blue-ti-ful?” to hear the pride in a parent’s voice in the YES, because parents generally think their child far exceeds normal standards of beauty, blinded-by-love though they may be. There is no shame in enjoying beauty, in being beauty. “Mommy, watch me dance!”

My children teach me so much about God. And about relationship with God. About going to God honestly with the questions I’m feeling. It’s not silly or ridiculous. That’s what relationship is about – honesty and being vulnerable with our hearts before God. Not pretending that everything is okay if it isn’t. Being honest if we need a hug today. Being real with God, like Zoe was yesterday morning, “I’m sorry I wasn’t being nice to you, Mommy…” I’m intertwining the various relationships here, but I hope you follow. No wonder Jesus told us to be like a little child…

So the combination of Princess-love and hearts and pink and Valentines’s Day called for some pictures. I don’t claim to be a good photographer, and sometimes I’m rather embaressed to put up my shots, but you know, this is our life; we’re normal, we’re not perfect, but we invite you as friends. Although I would love to take a real photography course sometime, just to learn more about it. Any good suggestions? [on one that wouldn’t break the bank account?] Some of you “real” photographers have given me tips here and there and I love when you guys do that.

These pictures were taken in evening light, and I just loved the softness about them.

These following pictures were taken on a cloudy day, and I thought the lighting would be perfect. But just as we started taking pictures, the sun broke through the clouds VERY brightly and thus the harsh lighting. :( Re-doing wasn’t really an option, because, well, my girls aren’t really photogenic. :) It’s more like I run after them trying to snap a few pictures that hopefully will turn out. Olivia especially. She’ll probably wonder why I hardly have any pictures of her. And I’ll say, “Because you were always a blur, a whirlwind of running.”

But if she is fascinated by Zoe, then we can get a few still shots. But definitely not posy-posy. Oh no.

Valentine Princesses 124

On my chalkboard in the dining room, which adjoins to the living room, I have written:

TODAY:
– enjoy little things
– smile at my children
– choose to Trust

So because I want to make it a point to do fun little things with my children, and to meaningfully look into their precious little faces and smile into their eyes…

…and since Zoe is SO into pink [that was the first color she recognized, and it’s still her favorite today], and because this book is one of her favorites ever ever ever…

…we made pink cupcakes for Valentine’s Day. We had SO much fun! I felt like a little girl myself, and I don’t normally enjoy baking all that well.

I am not a baking genius, lest this picture fools you. My secret lies in the next picture.

Pillsbury Cake Mix, you are my new friend. You make baking so easy, and look so amazing. Baking right after breakfast was actually easy, due to these easy ingredients:

Other than Zoe cracking an egg and it sliding down off the counter and running down the cabinets and making a puddle on the floor [“I can do it! I can do it!!” she had emphatically told me], and other than batter flying around the kitchen when she was mixing up the batter with the electric mixer, it was a grand success. She chattered like a magpie during the whole 2 hours, or however long we were baking. I hope she remembers times like this, because this day will go down in my memory as pure loveliness.

[Pajama-clad and morning-hair glory all three of us. I look like I was either 1) crying my eyes out the night before, or, 2) just woke up 3 minutes prior. Neither was the case.]

BUT – the point of this picture is the matching aprons! They were a gift from my sister Ervina, and I’m sure she has no idea how much we love wearing them together. And if I forget, Zoe will remind me. She loves it that much. And besides the fun we have wearing them, we can think about Auntie Ervina and how much we miss her… ♥

Zoe’s role as Assistant Gourmet Artist was taken seriously.

This part of putting on the sprinkles delighted her little soul to no end. “Enjoy little things…”

And of course, whenever there is baking, there are always eager tasters.

We wrapped a couple of them up in little paper wrappers, inspired completely by Rachel. Never in a hundred years would’ve I thought of such a cute idea.

I love white cake stands, but have none of my own. So, putting a plate on top of a white milk glass bowl creates the effect I’m looking for. At least, until it has to be moved. :)

Zoe was making all kinds of faces that morning for the camera. These are for my mom too. :)

And thus ends my rant on how FUN it is to have two little girls. :)
I would like to have 2 more, just like them, please. :) And then boys may start after that. But I LOVE having two little girls!

[And now I’ve used up all my picture allowance on xanga for the month. And it’s only the 15th. Premium suddenly looks appealing. So if you see me uploading strange amounts of pictures to facebook, it’s because I can copy and paste, thus the odd size picture assortment…]

And that’s the post Of Pink, Of Princesses, and Of Cupcakes.

-clarita

February 11, 2011March 20, 2013

My Kids Will NeVeR…

It seems that a lot of my posts lately have been about children… And well, that’s just where I’m at right now – in the thick of it with mothering. And loving it. Well, most days. :) But truly, being a mother is one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever been given.

I was laughing to myself the past few weeks, thinking of what real-life mothering actually is as opposed to merely thinking about it one day in the far future. And how having children erases any bit of pride in my conceps about child-rearing!!

Now, I think there is a LOT of good in thinking about having children and what you want your home to be like prior to being there. There’s got to be a vision, a goal to work toward, or else you’ll flounder. You have to know where you’re going so you can aim toward that direction. I’m a firm believer in having a purpose and vision for one’s family.

But what I was laughing about was my unrealistic expectations of my children. And how wrong I was to expect that of them, as well as other children [not just my own].

These are some of the ideals I was upholding, not even so long ago. I didn’t realize the adventure that children bring along with their little selves!

My Kids Will NEVER. . .
[taken from a journal entry on 8 October, 2008, wherein I only had one crawling child, and wherein I had several unwanted experieces with various children. These are all actual accounts. My own comments now are in parenthesis.]

1) Don’t EVER let children jump on someone else’s bed. We had [event] at our house a few weeks ago, and at the end when everyone had left I went through the house cleaning it up. When I got to our bedroom [OUR master bedroom], I was furious: just that afternoon I had washed the sheets on our bed, fluffed the featherbed and down comforter, and made the bed. [There are few simple pleasures in life better than a freshly laundered bed]. Those little kids had jumped all over our bed; flattening my hard-fluffed bed as flat as if I hadn’t washed them it in several weeks. Needless to say, that did not leave a good impression on me…

2) Definitely potty-train your children before 3.5-4 years old, so they don’t go around peeing on the kitchen floor of the [place away from home], and babies crawl around IN IT. This makes for very disgruntled mommies of those babies. And if your child would ever dare do such a thing, then by all means, clean up the puddle.

[Speaking of adventures with children, Olivia was born in the car under this Hampton Inn sign!]

3) If, at a ladies luncheon, there is a shortage of food, do not let your 3, 5, & 7 year olds repeatedly fill their plates and eat to the fullest, especially when the pregnant lady for whom the luncheon is in honor of [this wasn’t me; it was my friend] does not get enough of food, and when many of the ladies present have not even yet had firsts, much less seconds or thirds. [Most of the ladies went to Burger King after this because we were sooo hungry! Due not entirely to the unmannerly children, but also to the shortage of food by the caterers.]

4) Do not, I repeat, DO NOT allow your children to play in the church nursery at any time [especially not along during a church service]. Not to make 5 [F.I.V.E] trips back and forth for books which lie mere feet away from mothers trying to put babies to sleep [which was me] because the trips back and forth wake them up everytime they’re almost sleeping. Not after church, for even though the service is over, I guarantee you not many mothers want their child rudely awakened by “monkeys” [I was kind enough back them to write it in quotation marks that day] in the cribs all around them, lights on full blast.

[end of journal entry]

Along with these, I had visions of a perfectly clean house all the time. Really.

Really, what was I thinking??? If that is really my goal, that’s really shallow.

Because what does that offer God in eternity? “Well, God, yes I got frustrated at my children a lot because all they wanted to do was play and make a mess, but let me tell you, I KEPT A PERFECTLY CLEAN HOUSE.” When I think of it in those terms, really, an immaculate house isn’t the end goal. Yes, there are things that even children can learn about keeping things tidy, and I would like to blog about that one day in the future [about how to manage messies with small children – not that I’ve attained, but just talking out loud about tips that I’ve learned from other women in my short time of being a mother and what has really helped me]. But this time I’m blogging about letting go of unrealistic expectations.

What really gets me about my above journal entry, is that within TWO AND a HALF YEARS of writing that, my child[ren] has done points 1, 2, and 4 of the “My Kids Will NeVeR…” as well keep my house at a continual state of crumbs-on-the-floor.

I remember when Zoe was a baby, just beginning to feed herself easy finger-foods. I had placed her in her high chair and given her graham crackers while I was making dinner or busy with something. After a few minutes I checked up on her and was aghast to see cracker crumbs all over my hardwood floor!! Up until this point, crumbs rarely reached my floor. No kidding. But at that moment, I was struck between the eyes with the disturbing thought, “My house will never again be the same, until decades from now when there are no more children…” And that was a very true thought. Because since that day, crumbs of all kinds have perpetually been on my floor, regardless of whether I sweep or mop every day.

I remember when I was potty-training Zoe’, and she peed on the floor – not of our own house, which would at least have been better, but at the home of someone who had graciously invited us to supper. Not only that, but her little friend, a little younger and crawling, got all wet with her pee!!!! It was a deja’ vu of that instance not too long before [and the same poor little boy who crawled into both “accidents”!] and I saw my journal entry in my mind’s eye in bright red letters. Not that I had written it in bright red, but what I had written was haunting me. No, my child wasn’t 3 or 4, she wasn’t yet 2, but still, I had no control over the urine on the floor other than profusely apologizing to my friend and cleaning up the mess. I couldn’t control my child’s bladder!

And I’ve found my child playing in the nursery after church, much to my chagrin… Not just once, but several times [although I’m not aware that there were any sleeping babies at any point].

And just last week, on the way home from a friend’s house where quite a few ladies were working on a project for a widow’s banquet coming up, Zoe informed me that not only did she jump on the guest bed in the house [!!], but she did so after she was told not to by some of the other children [!!!!!]. Again, I saw red-letters somewhat mocking me, and the “perfect” children I was going to have…

I will say, there is definitely a difference between kids that are out-of-control, and kids that are just being kids. But I think that I’ve too quickly acted like, or thought that, children need to act like adults instead of simply being a child of 4 years old, or whatever the age is.

I’m not saying the children in the above examples are without excuse, and the model child that I would like for my children to emulate. These really are not what I want my children to be known for. So, while I TRY to train my children not to jump on beds, not to pee on the floor, not to be little pigs at other people’s dinners, and to play in areas other than the church nursery on Sunday mornings, there are also other things,
important things, to remember…

… that children don’t judge other people like we do. If they see a house with toys all over the floor, they don’t think, “What a lazy woman.” They think, “Oooooh, this looks like fun! Can I play too?”

… that some of the best memories of a young child’s life as in  little, sometimes “messy” moments –
   – like “houses” built with couch cushions and blankets [one my my FAVorite memories as a little girl, thanks, Mom!! I know I made an awful mess with only about 20 blankets =D], or houses out of large boxes
     – or making dirt puddings outside, and climbing dirt hills in the yard before the flower beds are formed [even if they go ‘necked’ without asking, because if they ask the answer will surely be “no”
     – or making chocolate chip cookies with flour everywhere…

I guess I’m seeing in me that the the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with messies for me can be a control issue. This is one little area of my life that I want to go exactly as I want, even if not many other areas of my life are turning out that way. So I’ve tried to control my children’s messes. I’ve tried to control my life, wanting my house to look as clean and messy-free as it did before children. Somewhere there’s fear involved in control issues too, I think… Fear of what so-and-so will say if they’d see my house looking like a hurricane blew through? Fear of being talked about [like I’ve heard some other moms talked about] who didn’t have every single toy picked up when Mrs. ______ stopped in unexpectedly? Not sure what all is involved in all these OCD tendencies…

But my heart has been experiencing new freedom as a mother the past few weeks. I’ve always enjoyed being a mother; my first baby was honestly not even an adjustment [although my second one was more so]. But now instead of just enjoying my role, I’m feeling empowered in my role. Not that I do everything perfectly – far from it. I apologize to my little daughters many times in the course of a week!

I guess I’m recognizing some of the lies that satan tries to tell women – that he’s tried to tell ME.

One of those lies being that a MOM [working mother, stay-at-home-mother, a housewife, a homemaker, a giver of life [physicially, spiritually, emotionally], a place of safety and refuge for her family, source of empowerment for her husband, a wear-of-many-hats [chef, laundress, housekeeper, landscaper, fashion designer (hey, all of us dress ourselves and our kids every day!), interior designer (and all of us do some form of taking care of our homes, though it varies in personal preference and style)]is worth less than a career woman, or a single missionary woman in China, or…. On and on satan’s lies accuse, until we are powerless to live the flourishing life that Jesus offers us…

Jesus says… “Do not live by a spirit of fear, but of POWER, and of LOVE, and of a SOUND MIND…” He calls us to be empowered, to live passionately in all areas of our lives whether it be woman, wife, and/or mother. Listless, fearful, enslaved living is not part of His design for us!

This is not to discredit the very difficult times that God allows us to go through. I recognize, in my own life and in the lives of people around me, that there are incredibly difficult dark nights of the soul to walk through. I’m not saying that in those times we just have to grin and bear it.To flourish is not always to feel vivacious and alive. But true LIFE means JESUS… To hold onto Jesus even when it feels like everything around us is going wrong.

I did a study on the word “Hope” several weeks ago. I had been feeling so low emotionally, and honestly, was going into 2011 feeling like there was so little to look forward to. What was I going to hope for in this year, I wondered to myself? I’m a Type A personality that thrives on goals and lists and future events. This kind of personality has its strengths… and also its grave weaknesses.

So I pulled out the Strong’s concordance and researched every word used for hope. I didn’t realize that “Hope” was used to many times in the Bible. Over a hundred times.

And in every one of those hundred-plus times [except two, and those two were used to describe someone who is not a believer in God and how empty their hope is] the word “Hope” was talking about God Himself. I don’t feel like I can accurately describe all that went on in my heart after that study. But I realized that Life is God. And Hope is God. And God is Hope. And God is Life. If all we have left is God, we can still have Hope. In fact, that is really what Hope is. It’s so simple. It’s so hard to grasp.

Hope says, “God, I feel crushed by [life’s situation], and I want [particular thing/event/situation to happen/change], but even if it doesn’t, You still give meaning to my life. YOU ARE the meaning of my life.”

This has really hit home in my heart since that study. That God is my purpose, God is my Life, God is my Hope; even if I don’t know what the future holds for us, even if I’m at home with my children day after day. There is meaning! There is purpose to my days!

My heart rests in that knowledge. And I am a better wife and mother for it. More restful. More at peace with myself and God. More trustful of His sovereignty… And like all of life, I’m sure I will need to be reminded of this many times over in the course of a lifetime! So easy it is to forget what once felt like a thunderous truth…

Okay, so I started with “My Kids Will NeVeR…” and I end with… a thinking out-loud of what God has been doing. Not sure how that fits together, but there it is.

I wish for you today HOPE – that heart knowledge that God is enough… and more than enough… for today. For tomorrow. For ever.

~clarita

January 31, 2011March 20, 2013

a weekend is for….

… getting into big sister’s slippers

… eating lots of popcorn

… enjoying little girl profiles

[this is called “The Big Cheese”]

… breaking out the darling little popcorn boxes
[found at Michaels? A.C. Moore?]

… vacuuming several times in the course of the weekend,
just to clear away the said popcorn that keeps reappearing

… Ben tearing around with the chainsaw,
removing “junk trees” from the property border

… little girls playing hide-n-seek in the destroyed shubbery

… playing outside in the 70* weather.
Springtime, have you arrived several months early?

… enjoying a fire, not because we need it,
but just because Ben cut firewood again and we can!
[it’s been a cold month with no wood. now, on the day he cuts wood, it’s 70*]

… wondering what to do about my magnolia wreath, created only 2 weeks ago. Do people just use silk leaves for this kind of thing? These real one are curling and I fear soon to fall off. Hot glue isn’t always the magic ticket, sad to say.

… enjoying little bits of nature brought indoors –
mossy twigs and silver spray-painted pinecones.
Christmasy? No, it’s wintery.

… little girls that play “Mary and Joseph.” Oh, and Baby Jesus. Can’t forget him. And please DO call all children by their new names, they are no longer Olivia and Zoe’.

[“Jooo-THEPH!!” Mary says very sternly, when she, I mean he, isn’t cooperating with the donkey caravan “to Bethlehem” [quote] here. But all contention must have been resolved because later Mary was lying on the couch, gently crooning, “Oh, Jotheph, Jothepth,” in rather alarming endearing tones. I think The Nativity Story was watched a bit too many times.]

… little girls that love to play princess
[there are wild imaginations around here, just a warning. there are role changes many times a day].
And mommys that love to take Princess’s pictures spur-of-the-moment.
And make heart-chains spur of the moment.

… re-reading A Severe Mercy, by Sheldon Vanauken. One of the best books on love and marriage I’ve ever read. The oneness of spirit between the two of them is incredibly inspiring…

A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken (1992, Paperback,...