The countdown is on!
Wednesday morning we leave the land of cotton and peanut fields and head for the great Rockies.
I’m excited. We’re excited! About what the Lord will do in us through our time at Ellerslie.
I know it’ll be stretching, and thrilling, and growing…
and we are so grateful to God for opening up this doors for us!
One last post before we head out…
I’m hoping we’ll be able to pick up Wi-Fi from someone else in the apartment complex,
but that’s wishful thinking. :)
If not, I’ll hope to pop in and out now and then to say hi!
[a little autumn touch]
[I love little lanterns]
[some favorite toys ♥]
[cookies from a friend]
[little girls’ bath toys]
[fresh fruit]
[auntie from far-away who do fun tea parties]
[sets of piggies]
[ a grouping of three]
All these pictures had some common thread… anyone catch it? :)
They all are groupings of three.
Symbolizing, showing, hinting that….
well, we’re thrilled and excited and humbled
that God has heard our hearts’ desire and has granted new life!
I’m so humbled though,
because I know I am only one among many women who have desired a child.
Why God has chosen to grant our desire and withhold it from others is a mystery.
I don’t understand it, but I receive with an open hand whatever it is He desires for our family.
Beyond the excitement, I have been quite sick the past month
[thus the real reason for my hiding my face].
A lot of the time has been on the sofa or in bed.
It’s definitely been a challenge with preparing to leave
and with all that has needed to be done.
Friends and family have been beyond caring and helpful, and I don’t know how to thank them enough.
They’ve been Jesus’ hands and feet to me the past few weeks!
I know the sickness will not last forever.
But I will ask for your prayers the next few days with traveling and the many hours and miles to go…
But sickness or no sickness, we are greatly anticipating Little Wee Baby next April!
[or, as late as I go, it’ll probably be next May :)]
Friday night at dinner, Ben surprised me [greatly] by saying he wants to give me the day off on Saturday. A very stunned wife stared at him in amazement, because a day off —-? Exactly what is a day off? It seems I can’t remember.
I’ve only had one other such day since beginning my career as a mother. Without any appointments or schedules or places that I had to go. Exactly what does one even do on a day off?
My kind husband continued on… “I think you’ve been really tired lately. Maybe a little burned out? I know I’ve been working Saturdays and some evenings, so you’ve been doing double duty. And I’d like to give you Saturday off… Would you like that?”
A slow smile crept across my astonished face. Would I like that?? WOULD I LIKE THAT?! Oh, indeed, kind sir, I would LOVE that, in fact.
My Type A personality wished I would have had a week to plan! What does one do on a day off? Where does one go? What stores would I go to, without two kiddos in tow? Where would I park with my journal and Bible and books? What books should I read?
My tired-mommy mind, on the other hand, wasn’t about to plead for the following weekend instead of the the following day. What kind of woman would EVER refuse such a generous offer?! A day off looked like a breath of fresh air!
A few quick idea were jotted down, possible places to go, since I knew going out of town was definitely in the plans. We have no coffee shop in town, or bookstore/cafe, or anything remotely charming for such an occasion. McDonalds just wasn’t going to work. Or any of the many fast-food options we do have in town.
Saturday morning dawned…. We had already been planning to host people for lunch on Sunday, so I did spend the forenoon doing some food prep. That was okay. I was getting all afternoon and evening off, and that in itself was enough to make even the food prep exciting. :)
While I was making dessert and other meal plans, Ben took Olivia out on her first date. It was beyond precious. It was really for her birthday, two months ago, but it was her first date ever.
I have to insert here, that when I birthed Zoe, one of my very first thoughts upon knowing we had a little girl, was the excitement that she could go on a date with her daddy. I don’t know why that was one of my first thoughts, in the midst of birth excitement and feelings of physical pain beyond what I expected. But I was so excited about my little girl going on a date with her daddy.
Fast forward several more years, and it’s my second daughter now going on dates. To the donut shop. I should have sent the camera along with him, but knowing my husband, that would not have added to his time there. :) So I took a few pictures of them before they left.
They just melted me. A daddy and his little girl have got to be one of the most precious and tender things in this world.
Another little girl was also melted. As in “melt-down” though, at not being included in this one-on-one date. I tried to think of something to console her with, so Zoe and I made a paper chain, to count down the days until HER birthday, which at that point was less than a week away. Thoughts of birthdays made all tears flee at rapid speeds, and a happy three-year-old was chattering away as I mixed cream cheese with sugar and patted herbed hamburger steak into big pans.
And then – it was dress up time for me! Strappy sandals, flower brooch, sheer scarf, a touch of make up… and after kissing Husband and a million thanks, and after hugging wailing little girls who didn’t like the idea of their mother going away without them [how dare she!], I drove off.
A phone call to my grandmother to wish her a happy birthday as she nears 80 years old, a call to the florist shop to deliver flowers to her door, a chat with my own dear mother, and even some moments of utmost quietness made up my one-hour drive to my destination.
A few stops at various stores, just because I could. A music store, to buy a copy of beautiful new piano music, a craft store to buy a few supplies for a party coming later this week, a few clothing store faves…. just to check their sale racks, of course. :) Nope, just because I could. And finding a few new cutesy things that good prices. I did try to be a good girl… :)
I do adore the feminine style that can be found so readily these days. Designers sure are creative when it comes to styles and fashion. I love the ruffles, the lace, the flowers, the skirts and dresses… It seems the last few seasons I keep thinking styles can’t get any more darling, and they DO! They sure know how to tempt people trying very hard to stay within the budget…
But the majority of my time was spent at a little table in the cafe corner of Barnes & Noble. My heavy bag containing my journal and Bible was taken off my weary shoulder, and I had a date with my Daddy. More than anything, solitude and quietness refresh my soul. As much as I adore my husband and little girls, time spent solo is what my soul craves for restoration and rejuvenation.
A quiche from the cafe, as well as a [venti] Caramel White Mocha, added the perfect touch. Oh, and One Thousand Gifts. Pages in my journal were scrawled, pages in books turned.
If I could have openly wept in that little corner of B & N, I would have. Truth be told, I didn’t feel like causing a scene. But my eyes were constantly filling with tears as I sat there… reading… writing… thinking… thanking. My heart really needed to be refreshed… encouraged.
That week I had been feeling so weary, and yes, a little discouraged. Am I doing this mommy thing okay? I feel like I mess up so often… Will my children need counseling when they grow up? Could someone please walk beside me and just tell me I’m going to make it? How can I have enough of energy for everything that I’m supposed to do? How can I reach around and love everyone well?
I had been longing for mentors, in flesh and blood. God gave me mentors that day, but in the form of written words.
There were two mentors “present” with me, other than God. One was an article from John Piper’s website [found on Janelle’s blog – thank you!!] that I had printed and brought along with me. Here are a few paragraphs from a powerful post…
“Everywhere you go, people want to talk about your children. Why you shouldn’t’t have had them, how you could have prevented them, and why they would never do what you have done. They want to make sure you know that you won’t be smiling anymore when they are teenagers. All this at the grocery store, in line, while your children listen.
Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing…
If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children….Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?…
Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.
Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.
The question here is not whether you are representing the gospel, it is how you are representing it. Have you given your life to your children resentfully? Do you tally every thing you do for them like a loan shark tallies debts? Or do you give them life the way God gave it to us—freely?
It isn’t enough to pretend. You might fool a few people. That person in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile, but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you. They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car.
Children know the difference between a mother who is saving face to a stranger and a mother who defends their life and their worth with her smile, her love, and her absolute loyalty.
Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work…”
[Rachel Jankovic]
I read and re-read those words, finding strength and deep encouragement in them. I was so challenged and convicted and encouraged all at once. The whole article can be found here.
And I read the first three chapters of Ann Voskamp’s beautiful words. Through tears. She is an anointed writer, who reaches deep into the hearts of readers with her words. Now I know why people read and re-read this book. I would have sat all night and finished at one time, had I had no time limit.
The last few years I’ve felt and known my need of God more than any other time of my life.
When I was single, I thought I was a fairly sanctified person. Sure, there were areas I knew that needed God to desperately work in them, but it felt like I was on the road to being a person with less and less flaws. [doesn’t that sound awful!? i’m embarrassed to admit it!]
After I got married, my weaknesses suddenly flared up wildly. You mean I had disagreements with my husband? You mean I had a hard time admitting I was wrong? You mean I had a hard time surrendering to an unknown life? Yes, all of the above. And I suddenly felt very much in need of God.
And then there were children…. and my weaknesses and faults and blind spots seem to glare at me daily. How can little people of such short years and short stature show up my sinfulness so drastically? How is it that I feel like a perfect heathen some days? Never have I realized my own shortcomings, not only in myself and how I relate to my family, but in how I relate to other people, and my faults in relationships and how badly I mess up.
But there is grace. Sweet grace.
And in those few short hours, I took hold of His grace yet again.
I walked away feeling like a new woman, with a fresh sense of hope. A renewed sense of purpose. A taking hold of Truth once more, a desire to live our of fresh conviction and courage and love and life and purpose….
Such days are rare, quiet rare. And I cannot live my life waiting for such glorious moments of quiet. For long time of no interruption.
But God will continue to meet in the midst of the busy moments, in the middle of pitter-patters of feet and chatter of baby voices. He is always near.
And thank you, dear husband, for the my soul refreshment… I am a better wife and mother because of it. :)
I must admit, I was hoping for a rather uneventful day! Her birth date being very memorable, her first birthday including a doctor and hospital visit because of a double ear infection, and her second birthday… well, I wasn’t sure what to expect with this little monkey! I actually did pray for a peaceful, uneventful (as in catastrophic uneventful!) day. :)
And it was lovely!
Soon after Zoe joined our family, Ben and I decided that instead of big huge parties for every birthday, we are going to spend time together on each birthday, making it special and making memories. There are times for parties, but that will be more for certain ages, probably, than to be expected every year.
So that’s how we do it, and we ALL look forward to birthdays around here because of how fun it is!
[Zoe waking Olivia at 9:30 am! You would have thought they were giving me a treat for MY birthday with that kind of glorious, sleeping-in kind of morning!]
The day before, Zoe and I had made pink cupcakes – I thought that would be more fun for her than a cake [and a lot easier for me!]!
We did this same thing together over Valentine’s Day, and Zoe absolutely LOVED it. She can actually help quite a bit [granted, we used a cake mix and bought frosting, so that’s a big time saver/easy-for-a-kid-to-help right there], and takes great delight in mixing the batter, helping to spread the frosting, and especially the sprinkles, choosing each of the four kinds very carefully. This is the part where she is sure is more like 13 than 3. :)
And then, we were off to the ocean! That is one thing I absolutely love about where I live – being so close to the ocean. It’s a good hour’s drive, but still, so easy to do in a day. We picked Ben up at work around noon and ate our little lunch on the sand!
And nothing makes little girls happier than sand, buckets, and water. :)
I can hardly believe my baby is TWO! And on the other hand, she’s only been in our family for two years. What did we ever do without her?!
Out of the two girls, Olivia is the most like me. She is exactly what my parents’ and their friends say I was like as a baby – unending energy (sure wish I still had that!), and always running, climbing, falling, trying again, never deterred by a fall, playing and smiling, and with a steely grit of determination!
She is so much fun, so fiesty, and motivates Zoe to be more brave and aggressive!
Ben and I traded out sometimes with watching the girls… He – mainly so I could take pictures! Sadly, I set my light meter setting too high, and a lot of these are blown out. :(
These little girls have THE best daddy they could ever wish for!
This was a day where my heart hurt from the love I felt for my precious little family…
There was time to sit and watch them, and just noticeevery little minute for several hours. I think I need to stop and do that more often (the beach, yes! but I mean the noticing), because it helps me see the true them so much more. And I enjoy them so very much…
It feels like I just have the most wonderful little family. Not perfect as in we never mess up or do anything wrong, and never have issues.
But perfect and wonderful as in the most absolute precious children ever! Two girls are just sooo fun. There are probably many parents that think that way about *their* children, and that’s God-ordained and rightly so! My children feel like my greatest treasures, and I love them so much!
Daddy and the birthday girl!
With his 2 & 3 year olds! They are 21 months apart, but I like to say it like this so it sounds really close. :)
This is a typical Olivia face – she is so dramatic with her facial expressions in calm or frightening situations! We call her our little monkey because she is such a clown!
I just love little bare feet and toes!
My kids have an imagination to beat the band. Every little stick, car, food item, whatever, becomes REAL. I’d be embarrassed to tell you some of the stories from around this house. :}
After playing for a while, I brought out the dessert of swirly pops! :) Ben says they were mostly for pictures. He was only half right. :) I was saving them for some special occasion, and this was it! Even he had to admit they looked pretty stinkin’ cute…. :)
I felt like mama-paparazzi. :) “But she’ll only be have a second birthday ONCE in her whole life!!” I said to Ben, as though that would explain my constant clicking.
^^ notice Olivia’s tongue just hanging out in the first picture! It just tickled me, because there is no concept of “how does this look?!!” !
And below!
I am so thankful to God for the gift of Olivia Caroline.
For the beaming smile,
the priceless dimples,
the energy,
the beauty,
the sweetness,
the petiteness,
the innocence,
the purity, of her precious little life…
This was a joy-ride for kids, this day at the beach PLUS the swirly pops. Even if they couldn’t even eat half of them!
I edited a couple in black and white. I really like the bright contrast of the color pictures, but the black and white brought out the details really well.
And other than skinned toes from a fall on the boardwalk and a cut lip in the process, Olivia went through the day unscathed! Was I ever relieved!!
We returned home to eat leftovers :) and pink cupcakes!
And it was a happy, happy day!
Jesus, I ask for the blessing of heaven and earth to be upon Olivia. May Your hand of blessing guide her and protect her from all evil. May her heart be tender toward You even now, and may she come to know and love You at a young age. Keep her from the evil one, Jesus, and may she grow securely and confidently in the shadow of Your hand, trusting Your Sovereignty and wanting nothing more than to please You and bring You glory.
May she grow not only in the knowledge of God, but in the love of God; that her heart would learn to trust You even when her head does not understand. May she be real, honest, and full of grace and love. I ask for Your strength in advance for all the trials and difficulties she will face, the misunderstandings, the heartaches.
Thank you, Jesus, for my precious little girl! ~clarita
What a beautiful, quiet week it’s been, after a lovely, beautiful weekend with Christy. I’m still smiling. :)
Goodwill [out of all the cool stores in A___, we went to Goodwill! And wow, was it fun!] – and she warned me that she convinces people to buy a lot of stuff. And yes, she was right. :)
Starbucks Happy Hour – Peppermint Mocha Frap for her, and Mocha Coconut for me. And long, delicious conversations for us both…
Lovely times for our children to play together, our husbands to converse while they babysat so kindly… :)
Christy, it was a pleasure!
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Some time ago I alluded to the car birth of Olivia – I don’t even remember what the context was or why I referred to it. But several people have asked to hear the birth story. So, because this is her birthday week, and because I’m off to work on sewing projects, I copied and pasted the blog entry from two years ago, announcing her arrival!
Hope you enjoy! :)
—————————————————————————————
INTRODUCING… our [Roadside] Wonder!
WELCOMING OUR NEW BABY GIRL!!!
Olivia Caroline which means
‘Messenger of Peace and Joy’ entered the world
May 20, 2009
at
11:48pm
[proud, wonderful daddy with his second daughter!]
We are so blessed with a precious baby girl!! A baby sister for Zoe’, a beautiful little daughter for Ben and me!
I had forgotten how completely darling a newborn baby is! We are all just completely smitten with her, and are head over heels in love! She has done so well so far, eats and eats and sleeps! I just love to hold her, smell her, kiss her, hold her… A new baby is just as precious and innocent as can be.
My heart feels like it’s going to burst with the love I feel for my little family… My wonderful husband who has been such a supportive trooper through the past few days, my darling little girl Zoe’, my precious newborn baby. Any questions I had about whether I could love another child as well as the first have disappeared! The love that God gives a parent for their new child is just amazing!
[a few hours after birth]
Zoe’ has done so well in adjusting so far. I think largely due to her daddy really taking good care of her, making sure she is not overlooked in all the changes that are taking place in her little life. So far she has taken everything in stride. We had told her that mommy is going to have a baby, but weren’t sure how much she understood. But now that Baby is here, it seems like Zoe’s reaction is that, well, we had told her a baby is coming, and now she’s here!
She comes and wants to hold her, but isn’t overbearing like I thought she might be. After holding her for a bit, she says she’s all done, and then wants to go play. My parents and brothers are now here, and Zoe’ is just thrilled to pieces to have them here! I think all the action around here is helping her adjust well too. But wow, hard to believe my little girl is now the Big Sister!
[a lovely bouquet arranged for Olivia by Aunt Rebekah!]
The past few days have been rather eventful, as is any new birth entering the world! This birth had a few more unexpected twists than I was expecting, and I find myself thinking it surely must all be a dream! But this is what I remember of my ‘dream’…
Nutshell Version:
After 48 hours of labor, baby girl is born in car en route to birthing center.
Long Version: [and beware, it is detailed. This is for my extended family and friends, whom I can’t tell the story to on the phone due to time]
I was due on Tuesday, May 12, but the days kept passing on by, with me hoping I wouldn’t have to count much higher with each new day! With Zoe’ 11 days late, and now Baby Olivia a few minutes shy of 9 days late, I’m coming to the conclusion that I’m just a slow cooker – it takes me a long time to hatch a baby!
My contractions began Monday afternoon, and by 10pm were 5 minutes apart. Although getting close, they were bearable, so we decided to try to get some sleep and see what would happen. At 5am the next morning Ben and I were heading to the Birthing Center over an hour away with contractions 3-5 minutes apart and getting stronger.
We took Zoe’ to Grandpa Yoder’s on the way out, and arrived at the Birthing Center to find I was dilated to 4cm. That was encouraging, and we were told to head out to the town for one last “date” before the baby came and to walk around to encourage the labor. I was still able to walk and talk in between contractions, although I felt rather like a spectacle when a contraction came.
So we did! We went to Panera Bread for breakfast, and I was very relieved that it was a very slow morning in business for them! Then we went to the beach with the intention of walking for a while. By the time we got to the beach we were both so tired from not resting well during the night, so we tried to sleep in the car for about a hour. Rather uncomfortable while I was in labor, but I was so tired I managed to rest somewhat.
We attempted to walk along the beach, but that day was crazy weather for May, and it was very cold and so so windy, so we gave that up quickly and headed to the mall to walk instead. This was the midwife’s suggestion – I would never have dreamt of going to the mall during labor! WHAT in the world would people think??? She assured me that people are often in their own world and would probably never notice, until my contractions got really hard. So we walked and walked… and walked. A lot of window shopping going on, and objects suddenly became very fascinating as I’d suddenly have a contraction and try to breathe through it!
Mid-afternoon we headed back to the Birthing Center, labor was not getting much more intense and I was getting very tired from walking so much. We rested for a while again, and then tried walking again for several hours to speed the labor. Herbal tinctures and things would kick up the contractions for a bit, but I wouldn’t progress.
The problem was that the baby would not settle head-down. She had never “dropped.” With each contraction her head/body would try to go diagonal, then after the contraction would go more vertex. But she would not settle in the vertex position, which made the contractions ineffective, no matter how hard they were.
By evening I was wiped out from being in labor so many hours already, and my contractions were slowing down because of that. We were advised to either get a motel for the night [to relieve the pressure of being at a birthing center] or just go home and see what would happen.
We ended up going home, although we were told by the nurse that when the baby does right herself, that things could happen very fast, and she was concerned about a car birth! But as slow as things were going, I never thought once more about it, even though she gave me a plastic bag to hold the placenta would we need it!!
I was a weeping, wailing wreck on the way home! My poor, dear husband! I would collect myself, only to have another contraction hit, and then I’d start crying all over again! Completely exhausted from having contractions for almost 24 hours already, plus this day was my sister Claudia’s birthday and I was so hoping my baby would be born then! I was already a week overdue and the thought of already being in labor 24 hours and not being able to dilate past 4 cm was completely overwhelming.
We tried to sleep through the night as much as possible. My body was so tired that the contractions slowed to about 20 minutes apart, which allowed me to rest in between them. When I was laying down, they came about 20 minutes apart. When I was up and walking around they would come about 5 minutes apart.
The next day we had a chiropractor appointment to try to straighten the baby, hearing that sometimes chiropractors can do things like that, and we were desperate. I thought my bag of waters was leaking as well, so we went to the Birthing Center afterward to check that out. Somehow, they weren’t able to detect that it really was my water leaking, [even though I was leaking quite rapidly] and I was sent home again. Ben asked if it would be crazy for him to go back to work the following day, and the midwife thought that would be okay, since this labor could drag out for quite a bit more time.
All this time I was having contractions anywhere from 5-20 minutes apart, and was becoming so exhausted from not being able to sleep well for several nights.
It was Wednesday evening by this time, and we hadn’t seen Zoe’ since Tuesday morning, so we went to Ben’s parents’ house for supper and to spend some time with Zoe. We found a very happy little girl who was taken care of so well! She loves spending time at Grandpa’s house, and seemed to be having a great time! I think it was harder on me than on her to be away from her so long! I was very uncomfortable physically because of leaking so much fluid plus the contractions.
My contractions started coming 3-5 minutes apart again, and it just annoyed me because I knew the baby still wasn’t in the right position, which made the contractions basically ineffective in progressing the labor.
We called the midwife and told her that my bag of waters was indeed leaking, quite rapidly. She said that from that point on we had 24 hours to have the baby, or we had to go the hospital. Regulations. We could either return to the Birthing Center that night, or be there at 7am the next morning to try to get things going again. I was so tired I couldn’t bear the thought of trying to labor through the night, so we returned home. Again.
Ben tried to call a nurse friend who has worked labor/delivery for years, and were not able to get a hold of her. He left a message.
The next 24 hours looked overwhelming to me. Wednesday night at 10pm marked the point of being in early labor 48 hours, and I was completely exhausted. I didn’t know how in the world I was going to be able to have this baby! And knew that if the labor did not progress and the baby did not turn, that a C-section was still a possibility. If Ben would have given me the go-ahead, I would have opted for that right away, just to get the labor over with!
But we returned home. Ben rubbed my feet to try to help me relax as much as possible, and my contractions were still coming about 5 minutes apart.
We got into bed around 10:30pm, and shortly after got a text from Lois, the nurse friend, who had just got the message, and said we could contact her if we still needed something. Ben went out and called her, and while he was talking I felt the baby’s head move. Definitely move, as if something seemed to click into place.
Immediately I went into HARD, active labor, with contractions back to back. Ben heard that something was different, and came running back to see what was going on. He was still on the phone, and told Lois to come over as soon as possible. She lives about 2 miles away and was there in just minutes. She saw what was going on [me, rocking on the floor!], checked me, and I was dilated between 6-7 cm. She told us we need to head out as soon as possible, and she was going with us. She grabbed a couple of towels just in case we needed them, and we were literally running out the door as fast as we could after getting out of night clothes.
The Birthing Center is an hour and fifteen minutes away, although this time I think Ben would have done it in one hour. He was driving as fast as possible, but trying to be as safe as he could! I was in the back seat, trying to make it through the contractions that were coming back to back with hardly a break.
I was since looked back and just laughed and laughed, because my normally calm, collected husband was more worked up than I have ever EVER seen him! He was in the front seat shaking, praying, saying this was his nightmare coming true, and all sorts of funny things!
About 40 minutes into the trip, I heard Ben tell Lois that he was afraid he had to stop for gas! In all the trips to and back from the Center [over an hour one-way] we had tried to stay filled up, but this was the one trip that mattered and he didn’t think we’d be able to make it the whole way there! He stopped for gas – or more accurately, screeched the car to a halt, jumped out, and pumped a gallon as fast as a human being ever pumped. Meanwhile, my labor only intensified, and I called/moaned, “This baby is coming!!” At a gas station at that.
Lois jumped in the back seat with me, Ben jumped in the front after getting just a bit of gas, and we took off again. But the baby was indeed coming, and Lois told Ben to pull over as soon as he could find a lighted area, he needed to deliver this baby!
The first place we came to was about 3 miles down the road, a Hampton Inn. We must have been quite a sight, and I’m so glad it was around midnight vs. the middle of the day, because this area normally got a lot of traffic!
[picture taken the following day, and this was actually written on their sign!]
So Ben wheeled into the parking lot, squeezed into the side of the car with Lois, and two minutes and two contractions later,we had a baby girl! :) All the birthing equipment we had and needed was bath towels!
Lois was an angel from the Lord that night… I have since looked at the whole timing of her contacting us and Ben being on the phone with her as just simply DIVINE. She was so calm and knew just what to do, and although the car situation was far less than ideal, she was just wonderful through it all! I feel like I just can’t sing her praises enough!
After a few minutes of making sure the baby was okay, and she was a wonderfully healthy baby, we continued the trip to the Birthing Center. Ben and I were alternating crying out of relief and happiness and laughing at the sheer crazy wonder of it all!
In all the shuffle of the baby coming so far, we had lost the one cell phone we had between the three of us. So we weren’t able to call anyone until we arrived at the Birthing Center, and Ben ran in and told the midwife that, well, the baby was already here!
[in the car, approximately 15-20 minutes after birth. Notice the car seat base just pushed to the side!]
[still in the car, cutting the cord after we arrived at the birthing center]
And that, my friends, is the story of our Roadside Wonder, as Ben calls this Baby! :)
Mother’s Day has come and gone. I’ve been trying to write a post for the past week, and it’s finally happening… after the day is over. :) That’s okay. There were other things more important than blogging.
Reflecting this year on Mother’s Day…it’s a day of much love and warmth for many people, and also of much sadness for others. There is celebration of what is, and of good times past. Then I think of women who long to be mothers, and are not. Of children who have lost mothers to death. Of sons and daughters who did not have a loving mother. Of mothers who did not want to become mothers, and how unprepared and inadequate they feel for their role.
When we were driving home from church we passed a small cemetery, with several people scattered around, standing before gravestones. This is a day of tears.
This is a bittersweet day for many people.
[a little note from Zoe, helped by a cousin, and fresh flowers picked on a walk together]
This was my 4th year of being a mother (including the first year when Zoe was still en utero). The morning of Mother’s Day this year was an early one, because of us hosting for lunch, but I had a few moments of quietness before the busy started.
These four years have flown. It seems not long ago that I held new-born Zoe in my arms, after 9 months of carrying her with anticipation and trepidation, a few seconds after her birth, after THE most painful experience I ever encountered in my life… and I fell in LOVE. Instantly.
[Here I go down Memory Lane… Warning: I have baby fever. :) Cute baby picture overload!!]
[Zoe at 10 days old]
[Zoe at 4 months]
[Zoe’, at approximately one year]
[eighteen months]
[almost two]
[age two]
[age three]
[Zoe today]
[Olivia, soon after birth]
[two weeks old]
[fiesty from the start :) ]
[four months]
[six months]
[eleven months]
[one year]
[eighteen months]
[Olivia today]
[from long ago]
What a privilege these four years have been. Incredibly life-altering, forever, because a mother is something I’ll always be.
It’s not just that my external circumstances and duties have changed, that my journals get scribbled in by curious little onlookers who want to write like mommy, that my days now revolve around caring for the needs of miniature little people, and scrubbing pencil marks off doors [like today].
But WHO I AM has been greatly impacted, bettered, softened, and sharpened. Truly, my children are changing ME and making ME grow up! I’d say in my later teens years and early twenties I thought of myself as a fairly unselfish, patient person (cough). Not perfect, but definitely with strengths in those two areas (cough). Now, four years into mothering, I think I must be one of the most impatient, selfish people around! Children show up the yet-to-be-redeemed areas of my life like a screaming fire engine!
I’ve been thinking so much of a lovely luncheon I was invited to in Pennsylvania by sweet Janelle, hosted by Jeane’. It was so lovely to see Rachel there too! Fan Smucker, a mother of four, who has “gone before us” on this mothering journey, spoke to the 11 women present about being a wife and mother. This was pampering and inspiration that spoke to me in the very depths of my soul! I have rarely had the opportunity to be in the presence of an oldER (not to be confused with ‘old’!) woman in person who is encouraging and inspiring younger women. Online, yes, and that is a huge encouragement as well. But there is something about being in the presence of a godly older woman, and in the presence of other young mothers, who are nothing but life-giving!
Since then I’ve been thinking about Unsung Heroes, my thinking stimulated largely by the luncheon I mentioned above.
The morning spent at the ladies luncheon felt like a Red Letter Day in my career as a mother. Truly, it was inspiring and encouraging beyond what I can even express! There was something that clicked, something I understood about mothering and servanthood like I never have before. I hope I keep having revealing moments like these!
This is an excerpt from my journal the morning after:
“My heart cannot stop glowing from the amazing time I was blessed with yesterday morning! Rarely, if ever, have I been in the presence of so many passionate, devoted wives and mothers. I cam away feeling so inspired and empowered, having so much truth spoken into my heart…”
Twelve women, all mothers. Leaving behind almost forty children. But all women that are passionate about being mothers, that love their role as a wife and mother, that embrace their husbands and children, that view their roles as noble and honorable and worthy. That are not ashamed or embarrassed to be “just a stay-at-home-mom”, but rather thrive and flourish in that role. Beautiful women, fashionable, attractive, but with an inner glow that radiated from their faces. Women that first of all loved their Jesus.
[a Mother’s Day lunch Ben and I prepared for his family on Sunday]
[the red flowers were the seats for the mothers]
[decor: old records as chargers, burlap runner, pint-sized jars as glasses [because I didn’t have enough normal drinking glasses], and real live magnolias!
[fresh squeezed strawberry lemonade]
I suppose I hadn’t realized how inundated I’ve been with negative connotations about mothering. From comments at the grocery store about how busy I must be and how stressful it is to have children to all the undercurrents of feminism and careers and how woman needs to “find herself.”.. These are everywhere, and even in Christian circles mothering is often looked upon as something not as good as _______ [fill in the blank].
Fan Smucker, the speaker (which isn’t an exact term, because it felt more like huge doses of encouragement rather than formal speaking), gave one quote that grabbed me, and has had me thinking on it ever since…
MOTHERHOOD is a noble calling,
and noble callings always take sacrifice.
But that’s what makes a HERO!”
[fan smucker]
On the 12-hour trip back to the south I was driving for a few brief moments while Ben and the girls were sleeping.
(We left at 3am, lest I portray some unrealistic picture of my two daughters angelically sleeping the entire trip! Even leaving at that hour doesn’t usually give us normal sleeping time.)
And I was thinking about the Hero quote. Thinking about how different my idea is from God’s idea of a hero
Mine has normally been huge, world-changers – Hudson Taylor, Mother Theresa, Moses, Daniel, David, Ruth, Esther… Amazing people, with amazing roles. And quite frankly, I would have loved a large role to fill too.
[Ben’s Mother’s Day gift to me was several hours at the beach on Saturday as a family! Does he have good taste or what!?]
[my only picture from the weekend with me and my girls. ’tis very sad. the day was lovely, but too busy for pictures!]
But I’ve really been rethinking my former ideal of a hero. And I’m beginning to think now that a hero is not necessarily one who plays the Main Role in the world, or even one who is noticed by many people.
Rather, I think a real Hero is one who surrenders unconditionally to the call of God in salvation and in all of life after that, and then lives faithfully and unselfishly in whatever role God has called them to play. Some people will be called to more recognizable places; others will not.
But recognition is not what makes a Hero!
I think of the words ‘faithfully’ and ‘unselfishly’, because for so many of us our roles are not glamorous. Our days consist of much of the same thing, day after day. But if God calls us to it, then that makes it worthy, valuable. So often ambition to be a hero is marked by selfish motives – to be someone who is looked up to and admired, and spoken of as someone who is amazing.
I had wanted to be single for a long time so I could accomplish a lot of great things for God. Big things! Admirable things! And things that some people are called to.
But I was not called to that. I was called to be a wife at age 22 and a mother at 24, and to live my life in poured-out service for my family, primarily though not exclusively. This is something that I’ve found much fulfillment in, but honestly, I still need to fight the voices that argue that careers make a woman more well-rounded, and what about taking time for yourself?!, and the negative connotations about being “just” a stay-at-home mom (just try it for a day and see if you’ll say “just”. I’ve had grown men tell me a full-time job was MUCH easier than taking care of a child for a day!).
Until recently, I hadn’t realized how much negative I’ve heard about children. Could someone please stop me at the grocery store and say how wonderful it is to see two beautiful girls with their mom, instead of the “sure must keep you busy!” comments? ‘Children’ and ‘stressful’ are often used in the same sentence to describe each other. A mother who chooses to stay at home often feels like she has to apologize for not having a “real job.”
Sitting around the beautifully adorned brunch table at Jeane’s home that Friday morning, I felt like I was in the presence of amazing, UNSUNG heroes. Incredible women, all mothers, but more importantly, all life-givers.There is a difference.
There were former musicians, actresses, women involved in politics, teachers. It was an amazing, dazzling array of talent and giftedness.
[my “flowers” – I tell Ben I’d rather have a Starbucks drink than a bouquet, and he believes me! This makes me very happy. :) ]
And the incredible thing was these women whole-heartedly and open-heartedly received their husband and children into their lives. They glowed when they spoke of their husbands and families (no mean husband jokes here!), and they adored being a mother. They did not feel inferior about being “just” a mom of 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 children – rather, they flourished in their roles. And I thought to myself how incredibly blessed their families were, to have women in their homes who were so intelligent,so gifted, and so unselfish and loving.
I see this same spirit in the lives of several single women I know; Dani, Krissy, and Beth. This life-giving spirit. Their life focus is not in careers or money, although one in an incredibly brilliant college student, another a web designer, and the third held a good job as well. But they are living their lives as poured out for Jesus by pouring them out for children that no one else takes the time for. They live so unselfishly, so faithfully in the roles God has called them to.
I think of my mother, who is a mother of six children, who has her own home business, who has a beautiful gardens and grounds, who taught school for more than 20 years in both private and home school settings. She has lived her life poured out for the lives of her husband and children. She is a team player with her husband, and a cheerleader for her children. While I was home for almost 3 weeks we were working together cleaning one day, and she sort of apologized that her walls weren’t always clean and spotless like some people’s walls are. I was flabbergasted that she even thought of such a thing, and responded that as kids we didn’t think about whether the house won Best Housekeeping awards or not, but we knew Mom’s efforts were about raising and loving a family, and we knew that and appreciated that so much. Unsung? Perhaps. But a True Hero.
I think of the Children of Israel who were slaves in Egypt for over 400 years. I’m sure thousands of men would have wanted to be a Moses, and thousands of women would’ve wanted to be his cheering sister, and lead all the slaves to freedom. How would you like it if your life plan included being born a slave, living a slave, and dying a slave? That’s anguish. That’s not easy. But those slaves, during that period of time, were fulfilling God’s will. (these thoughts come from “The Cat & Dog Theology” seminar). H.a.r.d. stuff.
What if fulfilling God’s will means being in an accident so an unbeliever finally surrenders? Or what if God’s will for you means losing your mother at age ten, or your daughter at age two? [disclaimer: I’m not wanting to start an argument about what God wills and what God allows; please follow through with me here.] What if it means packing up your family and moving to the other side of the world (or what feels like the other side of the world), or staying where you’ve always been when you’ve always desperately wanted to do something big? Or having ten children or no children?
How conditional is my surrender? How UNconditional is my surrender? I think a Hero can have so many faces. What makes a Hero in one person will not the same in another person. A true Hero is fully surrendered to God, and to the glory of God, even when the purposes are not fully discloses and understood. It’s not about us; it’s about GOD.
I don’t think a Hero is about doing some big thing, or even about doing the thing you always thought you’d have to do to succeed in life. I think a Hero is about faithfulness, whether we are called to Asia or Canada or a little town in the United States. It’s not about our marital status and how many children we do or do not have ~ it’s about being faithful and poured out for the lives of other people, no matter where God has placed us.
It’s about a heart of surrender to the Lord, a heart that is willing to sacrifice anything – dreams, goals, ideals, plans – in order to follow what is is HE is asking of us.
So really, what makes a Hero is not so much what a person does (which makes me breathe a sigh of relief!), but who a person is, inside, in their heart of hearts, even when no one sees (and that makes me stagger at the weight and the freedom of that!). And the question I feel God asking my heart is, “Are you willing to be an Unsung Hero? Unsung, but nonetheless a Hero?”
A true Hero is one who lives a life os complete abandonment to the Lord; regardless of role differences, regardless of public or private or no recognition. A Hero may be sung or unsung, but the unsung are no less of a Hero than the sung. Perhaps they are even more of a Hero, because it’s harder to be unsung.
Today, the challenge of God to my heart is to be one who is fully surrendered, who is consumed with the glory of Jesus, and not the status of my own life… And not just be surrendered, but to embrace the life that He has called me to…
UNSUNG HEROES.
I am honored to be one of the many. And yes, there are many sung and unsung heroes that I am so privileged to journey with in life! If I’d name names the list would be endless! Thank you, beautiful women.
It seems that a lot of my posts lately have been about children… And well, that’s just where I’m at right now – in the thick of it with mothering. And loving it. Well, most days. :) But truly, being a mother is one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever been given.
I was laughing to myself the past few weeks, thinking of what real-life mothering actually is as opposed to merely thinking about it one day in the far future. And how having children erases any bit of pride in my conceps about child-rearing!!
Now, I think there is a LOT of good in thinking about having children and what you want your home to be like prior to being there. There’s got to be a vision, a goal to work toward, or else you’ll flounder. You have to know where you’re going so you can aim toward that direction. I’m a firm believer in having a purpose and vision for one’s family.
But what I was laughing about was my unrealistic expectations of my children. And how wrong I was to expect that of them, as well as other children [not just my own].
These are some of the ideals I was upholding, not even so long ago. I didn’t realize the adventure that children bring along with their little selves!
My Kids Will NEVER. . . [taken from a journal entry on 8 October, 2008, wherein I only had one crawling child, and wherein I had several unwanted experieces with various children. These are all actual accounts. My own comments now are in parenthesis.]
1)Don’t EVER let children jump on someone else’s bed. We had [event] at our house a few weeks ago, and at the end when everyone had left I went through the house cleaning it up. When I got to our bedroom [OUR master bedroom], I was furious: just that afternoon I had washed the sheets on our bed, fluffed the featherbed and down comforter, and made the bed. [There are few simple pleasures in life better than a freshly laundered bed]. Those little kids had jumped all over our bed; flattening my hard-fluffed bed as flat as if I hadn’t washed them it in several weeks. Needless to say, that did not leave a good impression on me…
2) Definitely potty-train your children before 3.5-4 years old, so they don’t go around peeing on the kitchen floor of the [place away from home], and babies crawl around IN IT. This makes for very disgruntled mommies of those babies. And if your child would ever dare do such a thing, then by all means, clean up the puddle.
[Speaking of adventures with children, Olivia was born in the car under this Hampton Inn sign!]
3) If, at a ladies luncheon, there is a shortage of food, do not let your 3, 5, & 7 year olds repeatedly fill their plates and eat to the fullest, especially when the pregnant lady for whom the luncheon is in honor of [this wasn’t me; it was my friend] does not get enough of food, and when many of the ladies present have not even yet had firsts, much less seconds or thirds. [Most of the ladies went to Burger King after this because we were sooo hungry! Due not entirely to the unmannerly children, but also to the shortage of food by the caterers.]
4) Do not, I repeat, DO NOT allow your children to play in the church nursery at any time [especially not along during a church service]. Not to make 5 [F.I.V.E] trips back and forth for books which lie mere feet away from mothers trying to put babies to sleep [which was me] because the trips back and forth wake them up everytime they’re almost sleeping. Not after church, for even though the service is over, I guarantee you not many mothers want their child rudely awakened by “monkeys” [I was kind enough back them to write it in quotation marks that day] in the cribs all around them, lights on full blast.
[end of journal entry]
Along with these, I had visions of a perfectly clean house all the time. Really.
Really, what was I thinking??? If that is really my goal, that’s really shallow.
Because what does that offer God in eternity? “Well, God, yes I got frustrated at my children a lot because all they wanted to do was play and make a mess, but let me tell you, I KEPT A PERFECTLY CLEAN HOUSE.” When I think of it in those terms, really, an immaculate house isn’t the end goal. Yes, there are things that even children can learn about keeping things tidy, and I would like to blog about that one day in the future [about how to manage messies with small children – not that I’ve attained, but just talking out loud about tips that I’ve learned from other women in my short time of being a mother and what has really helped me]. But this time I’m blogging about letting go of unrealistic expectations.
What really gets me about my above journal entry, is that within TWO AND a HALF YEARS of writing that, my child[ren] has done points 1, 2, and 4 of the “My Kids Will NeVeR…” as well keep my house at a continual state of crumbs-on-the-floor.
I remember when Zoe was a baby, just beginning to feed herself easy finger-foods. I had placed her in her high chair and given her graham crackers while I was making dinner or busy with something. After a few minutes I checked up on her and was aghast to see cracker crumbs all over my hardwood floor!! Up until this point, crumbs rarely reached my floor. No kidding. But at that moment, I was struck between the eyes with the disturbing thought, “My house will never again be the same, until decades from now when there are no more children…” And that was a very true thought. Because since that day, crumbs of all kinds have perpetually been on my floor, regardless of whether I sweep or mop every day.
I remember when I was potty-training Zoe’, and she peed on the floor – not of our own house, which would at least have been better, but at the home of someone who had graciously invited us to supper. Not only that, but her little friend, a little younger and crawling, got all wet with her pee!!!! It was a deja’ vu of that instance not too long before [and the same poor little boy who crawled into both “accidents”!] and I saw my journal entry in my mind’s eye in bright red letters. Not that I had written it in bright red, but what I had written was haunting me. No, my child wasn’t 3 or 4, she wasn’t yet 2, but still, I had no control over the urine on the floor other than profusely apologizing to my friend and cleaning up the mess. I couldn’t control my child’s bladder!
And I’ve found my child playing in the nursery after church, much to my chagrin… Not just once, but several times [although I’m not aware that there were any sleeping babies at any point].
And just last week, on the way home from a friend’s house where quite a few ladies were working on a project for a widow’s banquet coming up, Zoe informed me that not only did she jump on the guest bed in the house [!!], but she did so after she was told not to by some of the other children [!!!!!]. Again, I saw red-letters somewhat mocking me, and the “perfect” children I was going to have…
I will say, there is definitely a difference between kids that are out-of-control, and kids that are just being kids. But I think that I’ve too quickly acted like, or thought that, children need to act like adults instead of simply being a child of 4 years old, or whatever the age is.
I’m not saying the children in the above examples are without excuse, and the model child that I would like for my children to emulate. These really are not what I want my children to be known for. So, while I TRY to train my children not to jump on beds, not to pee on the floor, not to be little pigs at other people’s dinners, and to play in areas other than the church nursery on Sunday mornings, there are also other things, important things, to remember…
… that children don’t judge other people like we do. If they see a house with toys all over the floor, they don’t think, “What a lazy woman.” They think, “Oooooh, this looks like fun! Can I play too?”
… that some of the best memories of a young child’s life as in little, sometimes “messy” moments – – like “houses” built with couch cushions and blankets [one my my FAVorite memories as a little girl, thanks, Mom!! I know I made an awful mess with only about 20 blankets =D], or houses out of large boxes – or making dirt puddings outside, and climbing dirt hills in the yard before the flower beds are formed [even if they go ‘necked’ without asking, because if they ask the answer will surely be “no” – or making chocolate chip cookies with flour everywhere…
I guess I’m seeing in me that the the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with messies for me can be a control issue. This is one little area of my life that I want to go exactly as I want, even if not many other areas of my life are turning out that way. So I’ve tried to control my children’s messes. I’ve tried to control my life, wanting my house to look as clean and messy-free as it did before children. Somewhere there’s fear involved in control issues too, I think… Fear of what so-and-so will say if they’d see my house looking like a hurricane blew through? Fear of being talked about [like I’ve heard some other moms talked about] who didn’t have every single toy picked up when Mrs. ______ stopped in unexpectedly? Not sure what all is involved in all these OCD tendencies…
But my heart has been experiencing new freedom as a mother the past few weeks. I’ve always enjoyed being a mother; my first baby was honestly not even an adjustment [although my second one was more so]. But now instead of just enjoying my role, I’m feeling empowered in my role. Not that I do everything perfectly – far from it. I apologize to my little daughters many times in the course of a week!
I guess I’m recognizing some of the lies that satan tries to tell women – that he’s tried to tell ME.
One of those lies being that a MOM [working mother, stay-at-home-mother, a housewife, a homemaker, a giver of life [physicially, spiritually, emotionally], a place of safety and refuge for her family, source of empowerment for her husband, a wear-of-many-hats [chef, laundress, housekeeper, landscaper, fashion designer (hey, all of us dress ourselves and our kids every day!), interior designer (and all of us do some form of taking care of our homes, though it varies in personal preference and style)]is worth less than a career woman, or a single missionary woman in China, or…. On and on satan’s lies accuse, until we are powerless to live the flourishing life that Jesus offers us…
Jesus says… “Do not live by a spirit of fear, but of POWER, and of LOVE, and of a SOUND MIND…” He calls us to be empowered, to live passionately in all areas of our lives whether it be woman, wife, and/or mother. Listless, fearful, enslaved living is not part of His design for us!
This is not to discredit the very difficult times that God allows us to go through. I recognize, in my own life and in the lives of people around me, that there are incredibly difficult dark nights of the soul to walk through. I’m not saying that in those times we just have to grin and bear it.To flourish is not always to feel vivacious and alive. But true LIFE means JESUS… To hold onto Jesus even when it feels like everything around us is going wrong.
I did a study on the word “Hope” several weeks ago. I had been feeling so low emotionally, and honestly, was going into 2011 feeling like there was so little to look forward to. What was I going to hope for in this year, I wondered to myself? I’m a Type A personality that thrives on goals and lists and future events. This kind of personality has its strengths… and also its grave weaknesses.
So I pulled out the Strong’s concordance and researched every word used for hope. I didn’t realize that “Hope” was used to many times in the Bible. Over a hundred times.
And in every one of those hundred-plus times [except two, and those two were used to describe someone who is not a believer in God and how empty their hope is] the word “Hope” was talking about God Himself. I don’t feel like I can accurately describe all that went on in my heart after that study. But I realized that Life is God. And Hope is God. And God is Hope. And God is Life. If all we have left is God, we can still have Hope. In fact, that is really what Hope is. It’s so simple. It’s so hard to grasp.
Hope says, “God, I feel crushed by [life’s situation], and I want [particular thing/event/situation to happen/change], but even if it doesn’t, You still give meaning to my life. YOU ARE the meaning of my life.”
This has really hit home in my heart since that study. That God is my purpose, God is my Life, God is my Hope; even if I don’t know what the future holds for us, even if I’m at home with my children day after day. There is meaning! There is purpose to my days!
My heart rests in that knowledge. And I am a better wife and mother for it. More restful. More at peace with myself and God. More trustful of His sovereignty… And like all of life, I’m sure I will need to be reminded of this many times over in the course of a lifetime! So easy it is to forget what once felt like a thunderous truth…
Okay, so I started with “My Kids Will NeVeR…” and I end with… a thinking out-loud of what God has been doing. Not sure how that fits together, but there it is.
I wish for you today HOPE – that heart knowledge that God is enough… and more than enough… for today. For tomorrow. For ever.
Olivia Caroline celebrated her first birthday a few weeks ago. Actually, more like a month ago. I’m still trying to play catchup from the past half year so there are no birthday pictures yet. Actually, not sure if there will be.
But I had been wanting to take her one year pictures sometime. You know how that is – always thinking the next day will be a better time, etc. etc. etc. I really didn’t know when I was going to do it, since I’ve hardly taken pictures all year and all. And I just got done telling a friend that I’m coming to terms with my amateur photography-ness, and realizing that while I enjoy taking pictures, I sure can’t go professional with it.
[At the same time, I have a lot of PROFESSIONAL photographer friends on xanga and elsewhere, which is somewhat intimidating. But not really. Because if I do it for fun, surely you all are okay with that, right? Me not pretending to be that great and all. And me knowing that you guys really ARE. :) But if you ever have any tips for me, like if I do too much editing, or not enough, or too much sharpening, or too much coloring, blah blah blah, I REALLYwould like to have your input. I really won’t be offended. :)]
And on top of it all lately, God has really been convicting me of taking TIME with my kids.
The quote, “GOOD IS ALWAYS THE ENEMY OF THE BEST” keeps running through my mind.
Because right now, there are a million good things that I can be doing.
Things like fixing up my little house and making it cozy… Projects, projects, projects. I have an endless list of ideas that I would love to do.
But in just the 3 weeks that we’ve been living here in what was a bare-bones house, I already have found myself short-tempered with my children and soooo exhausted when my husband comes home that I don’t feel like I have energy left for him. NOT GOOD.
I’m trying to learn when those good things are okay (I’m talking projects & doing things) and when I just need to let it go and spend time with my family. Maybe it even means taking a rest in the afternoon so I have more energy for Husband… Today it meant staying home from the pool when a lot of my friends were going. :( That was sad, and I reeeeeeally wanted to go, but I knew my girls needed this afternoon at home because of how our week is planned out after this…
Anyway, all that to say, these pictures were taken on an evening when I was sooooo tempted to stay inside and work on a sewing project – panels for my dining room windows. But it was one of those choices where I knew I had to decide between my family or my projects. And because this has been such a big battle for me lately, I decided to go outside with my girlies and husband.
Was I ever glad I did! These pictures are priceless now. I’ll always have them. And I wouldn’t have remembered the evening if I would have stayed inside with my sewing machine. What kind of companionship is a sewing machine anyway?
The photo-shoot was spontaneously done because of the lovely evening light…
And here is Miss Blueberry Eyes herself… such a precious Lovey.
Does she have killer eyes or what?!
The blue chair wasn’t exactly the prop I was thinking inititally. I was thinking “girly-victorian-y” sort of look. But I don’t have anything like that, and this chair fits her personality much better.
Very girl, loves playing with her baby doll and giving it a little bottle, hugs and kisses, but loves to tear around and be such a monkey. She is a tease, and loves to have a good time. Perhaps more of a tom-boy, as was her mother?
[Yes, I am aware of the grass on her mouth. But tell me, what one-year old does not put grass in their mouth?]
At one:
-still crawling, although walking comfortably around furniture
-has 3 teeth
-can still fit into size 1 shoes (!!!!!!!)
-on her birthday she weighed 17 pounds, 15 ounces. She is our petite little one!
-talks a little bit: mama, dada, bye-bye, all duh (all done), da-doo (thank you) tee-ta (kitty cat). Started this darling little thing: “Maaaaaa-ma! Mama! sadfkdhlgk asdnhlkj asldkfjlkdfjd fa GA GA GA.” Calls my attention, jabbers in an unknown tongue for a while, then always ends, “GA GA GA.” I just want to eat her up when she does that. :)
Blueberry Eyes for sure… Both girls have blue eyes, but Olivia’s are much darker blue than Zoe’s.
And there is our Sweet Baby. How we do love her!
You may wonder why there are no pictures of Big Sister. Like I was ignoring her or something mean like that.
Well, there are Reasons. Yes, there are.
I thought she was doing this:
[We have a huge dirt pile in the front yard for beautifying purposes to the yard. Not to the child.]
When in fact, she was doing this. IN THE FRONT YARD. Did I ever mention we live in town? Well, now I mentioned it. Busy mother so engrossed in Baby #2 that she is completely unaware of Baby #1.
Yes, the picture is small ON PURPOSE. Blurring is not intentional although photo quality is not the point in this picture. This mother is still mortified. WHAT must the neighbors have thought??
I can just see the headlines in their mind:
“New family moves to town! Mother sprints about the yard that is mostly dirt – not grass (notes that grass is VERY unmowed as well) – taking pictures of one child from strange angles while her other necked child races up and down the dirt pile, making sliding boards and jumping gleefully from top of it to the grass below. Make sure to keep a close eye on this new family…”
Sigh.
But goodness, how I laughed after I got over some of the embarrassment… MY CHILD – doing this in the city?? OMW….
