Posted on by Clarita

Holding Tight.

There are some moments in life when your breath is taken away by the sheer beauty of it.
The little taste of heaven.
The feeling that earth is as it should be.

And there are other moments when it’s the sheer pain of life that takes your breath away.
That phone call, hearing words that make your heart pound with fear.
That bit of news that you think just can’t be true.
Most of us have had those moments.

I’ve had both.
And it’s so strange how the two can run side by side.
I don’t understand it. At all.

This week my heart has been torn for my friend,
for her precious baby girl that she will not watch grow up.
The grief of seeing her bury her dreams as well as her baby.

It’s in moments like those when it’s so perfectly clear:
We were not meant for this world.

This grief, this pain, this suffering –
this is not as it was intended to be.
We were made for another World.
A World where we ache when someone goes first, leaving us, but where we want to go too.

I’ve just been thinking about that a lot lately,
about our Real Home.
I don’t think it’s ever seemed so real, at this very moment, as it does now.
This life really is just a shadow in comparison.

Until then, it seems that I cannot love my little family too much.
I cannot get enough of my little son, who steals more of my heart every day.
I can’t hug my girls enough, or give enough of kisses on their soft cheeks.
I can’t spend enough time with my husband.

This moment. This sacred moment.
What a treasure you are.

  
 

~clarita

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27 Replies to “Holding Tight.”

  1. This is beautiful, Clarita. When I hear your words in this post, and in others, I think to myself that you really are eating up these life moments the way they should be eaten. Sometimes ravenously devoured and other times slowly savored.

  2. Oh yes, yes, yes, amen!  I actually JUST chose my “word of the year” yeah, I am behind on that…..but I chose HEAVEN b/c it is the supreme hope of the believer, ETERNAL life with Christ! 

    I’m so so sorry about your friend.  It breaks my heart to hear of such suffering.

    Your family is beautiful. 

  7. Again? Another loss? Again. And the losses don’t seem to slow down, do they? They probably won’t the more people we know and the older we get. I too am so sorry for your friend! Yes, we certainly *were* made for another world. A perfect world! With HIM. And forever beauty! And still it’s amazing that even in this broken world we can still experience so much sweetness and good. I *LOVE* your little family in these pictures . . . and thanks for the reminder to again hold mine closer and kiss those mushy little cheeks!

  8. Loss can be hard, even only to be a witness to it. I pray your friend will be comforted by your friendship. You have a beautiful family, Clarita. I love posts like this celebrating healthy marriage, friendships and the true joy of parenting.

  9. I am so very sorry for your friend!  I cannot even begin to imagine that pain.

    I can’t agree with you more.  Losing my mom has made me look at life on earth as well as heaven so differently.  I am so much more aware of the fact that this life is just a vapor and that each moment is a precious gift!  It also has made me wonder how anyone could ever go through this life without knowing that there is a God who is in control and who is preparing a far greater place for us!

    What a beautiful family you have!

  10. I read all of your words and feel deeply. You have beautifully expressed what so many of us have in our hearts, I think. Grieving for somebody who has to let go of a precious love is an event that seems to be more a part of life here than what we ever dreamed of. The grief is all over the place. I have been close to that front row of the grief-stricken, wiping my own tears and wondering if my head will split open with all the pressure. I never want to be in that very front row. But it happens. And God comforts us in the deepest, saddest place. I pray your friend will come through, knowing all about that comfort, breathing in God’s name. I can imagine how much more you will want to be together with your hubby and those adorable little ones. “Our Real Home”…it’ll be glorious.

  11. your photography skills are getting better by the minute! this is beautiful and like people like to say from time to time, ” This is your best work yet!” :) you inspire me.

  13. There are so many who are hurting. So many who have experiencing great lose. Your words are mirror-image of how I am feeling tonight… our friend’s 11 month-old daughter drowned Tuesday evening. The community is devastated. Just as you said… “This moment. This sacred moment.”

    Blessings. Amelia

  14. Clarita,

    I can’t tell you how much I enjoy reading your blogging and seeing photos of your beautiful family!

    Let me say how sorry I am about your friend’s daughter…I will be keeping her & you all in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us!

    May God bless and keep you and yours!

    Sarah D

  15. the two CAN “run side by side.” i know. i know. that’s it exactly in perfect words so simply. and i don’t understand it at all either.
    i am so sorry for your friend and her loss. yours too. yet another… and i hear your heart strings for all that’s precious. here and THERE.

    yesterday was the two year anniversary of my friend’s nine year old son dying. it still takes my breath away. and reminds me of much. including jeremy camp’s song “there will be a day,” that was played at the viewing and the funeral. it brings tears for the ache… and yet there’s something so triumphant too. 

    big hugs to you sweet friend.
    and the lyrics too, which means my comment will reach a ridiculous length.
    but they are the words i am praying for you. for all of us…

    I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
    But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that tries to grab
    The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth
    That we will enter in this rest with wonders anew

    But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
    That there will be a place with no more suffering
    There will be a day with no more tears
    No more pain, and no more fears
    There will be a day when the burdens of this place
    Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
    But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always

    I know the journey seems so long
    You feel you’re walking on your own
    But there has never been a step
    Where you’ve walked out all alone
    Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
    Cause joy and peace he brings
    And the beauty that’s in store
    Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting

    But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
    That there will be a place with no more suffering
    There will be a day with no more tears
    No more pain, and no more fears

    There will be a day when the burdens of this place
    Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
    But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always

    I can’t wait until that day where the very one
    I’ve lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
    To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery
    O, this is why, this is why I sing

    There will be a day with no more tears
    No more pain, and no more fears
    There will be a day when the burdens of this place
    Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face

    There will be a day with no more tears
    No more pain, and no more fears
    There will be a day when the burdens of this place
    Will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
    There will be a day he will wipe away the tears
    He will wipe away the tears
    He will wipe away the tears
    There will be a day

  17. This story is just heartbreaking. Two years ago my friend lost her baby at eight months gestation, also. Loss, both our own and the losses of others, leave indelible footprints on our hearts.

  18. i am always blessed and inspired by you. always. you have such passion and beauty and you bring such a beautiful honor to God in the way you share your gifts. love and prayers as you grieve.

  20. @aretheyallyours – I so often wonder the same thing – how someone can go through life, through the hard things, without knowing Jesus! I simply cannot imagine it! And you are so right… when we lose someone we love, it makes Heaven SO much more real…. and earth is viewed so differently.

  21. @Richgem – Your comment…. it made me feels so deeply too. Sometimes watching those we love going through something so painful is almost more than we can handle. But I loved this: “But God comforts us in the deepest, saddest places…” Wow. YES. ♥

  22. @dilafila – Coming from you, I consider that QUITE a compliment. Thank you! My balloon may need to be popped now. :) I am so inspired by your work. There are some photographers that capture so much emotion and feeling, and you are one of them.

  23. @Amelia Marie – Hearing about your friend losing the 11 month old baby… it nearly brings me to tears! My son is 10 months, and imagining losing him….. it’s more than I can take! I don’t think I’ve ever been more aware of how much pain and suffering there is in the world…

  24. @down_onthefarm – there is absolutely NO length too long for a comment, in my opinion. :) thank you… ♥ and the words of that song – i have heard it before, but reading the words – it’s powerful and true and healing and comforting all over again… thank you, dear friend.

  27. You’re right! It does seem to be an interesting combination of joy and pain. Heaven will be all the joy we know plus 100x more, without the pain.

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