Springtime and Conductors of Life-Music.

There is something about springtime that is so absolutely wonderful. The thrill of the vibrant colors after the grey and browns of winter, the song of the birds celebrating the warmth returning, the fresh air bringing soft breezes… it invigorates my very soul, and breathes life and vitality! I just love it!

This was our first winter in the north in ten years, and while we really did enjoy all the snow and even the cold, there is something even more refreshing and exciting when springtime returns in this part of the world!

And, having a baby in the spring is a wonderful thing. It fits right along with the beautiful new life that is springing up outdoors all around, and I love being able to take little Jack into the fresh air and having him take naps outside in his little basket. It seems so healthy. And I feel a little European. Ha! :)

Just up the street from where we live is a sweet little park with the most beautiful blossom-covered branches, and one evening we spontaneously walked down and snapped some pictures.

Downers: it was past the golden light, the kids just wanted to play, we didn’t have on anything other than what we were already wearing that day (except for Ben who changed out of construction clothes ;)).

Positives: it’s real life right now, it’s not perfect, but it captures us in this beautiful stage we find ourselves in and I love it. Sometimes a quick capture of an imperfect moment is the very best.

Being in the stage of life again with an infant is a beautiful thing. It brings out a softness and a tenderness in all of us that I haven’t seen in a long time. The girls are natural little mommies, both so different from each other, but both so loving and gentle. Hudson has to be reminded to be gentle and not to suffocate his poor new brother in his loving attempts at brotherhood, but his love is unmistakable and absolutely precious.

I love watching my husband with his children. He is gentle, he is strong, he is tender, he is firm. He is exactly what we need in a father in our home. And seeing him with little Jack makes my eyes puddle tears. A six-foot, strapping-man, with a little baby less than 11 pounds, held with tenderness and receiving the light of approval and love from his father’s eyes. It’s melting.

He’s a good, good daddy.

And a really wonderful husband. I’d pick him again, a million times over.

It’s a miracle, a new little life, and what it can do for the family it enters. I’m a mother four times over now, but each time it is just as amazing and full of wonder as the first time. Maybe even more so.

During the many times I day I sit and nurse my sweet little babe, I’ve been reading Sally Clarkson’s new book, “The Life-Giving Home.” You know how there are certain authors you enjoy, but then there are others that you connect with deeply on almost every page and feel like you could be bosom friends if you’d know each other in real life? Sally and her daughter Sarah, the authors of this book, are like the latter for me.

I read a paragraph that stopped me in my tracks and brought me to tears a day or two ago. This is it:

‘Even as an orchestra needs a conductor to choose the music, lead rehearsals, and unite all of the instruments into a harmonious sound, so every home needs someone who conducts what I call the life music of a home – it’s atmosphere.  The one who conducts it is responsible for bringing out its swelling themes, the steady bass notes, the drama of percussion kept in its place, the soaring melodies and intricate counterparts – all the instruments sounding together in a symphony of grace.

In our home, for the most point, the conductor of life within its walls is me…”

-Clarkson

You see, as a teenager and even in to my 20’s, I lived and breathed music. My parents gave me the gift of learning piano as a young gift, and I loved it. I had amazing teachers who loved Jesus and loved music and inspired me tremendously. I played at wedding and funerals and church and with friends and almost daily – music was such a huge part of my life, and I dreamed of it being something I’d be a part of forever.

And then, God brought a time of stepping away from that, where music was something I still loved but wasn’t involved in, for many years. It was a death of a dream to me, and one I grieved for a long time. But I see so much beauty in it all now – of learning to find life in Jesus, not in what I DO or am known for. This could be an entire book in itself, of all the things the Lord is teaching me. Present tense. Because I’m still learning. :)

But reading this excerpt was incredibly beautiful; my eyes were opened to see that I’m still a conductor of music, just not in the way I ever expected. That my role is vastly important, and the music that speaks so much life to my soul is now a gift I can give to my children; the music of life, the creation of a family, building of a home and of love and of passing on the unending grace the Lord gives me. Oh I fail desperately some days.  The music is awful sounding, and I lead all the wrong ways. But we start again, and I think it will take a lifetime to perfect the song that is our own, only a score of music that our family can write and play, but one that the Lord gave us to be all our own. I want to learn it well, and play it well, and let it be a beautiful sound to those who hear it.

Dance to it. The music that is your own, given by the life of the Lord within! Live it, embrace it, the life that is given and chosen especially for you. xoxo