anniversary – Skies of Parchment

July 1, 2011March 7, 2013

Celebrating Six Years!

Our anniversary day deserves a post all its own. :)
It was a day so lovely I keep thinking back to it and smiling…and smiling!

To a girl whose love language is quality time, a whole day with my man just exudes affection and devotion!

The day was so blissful and carefree,
and full of young love remembered and enjoyed all over again!

There were the usual questions and planning and deciding about where to go…
Somewhere new?
Somewhere we’ve been before?
Stay more local?
Drive several hours?
Pursue a dream anniversary trip to Italy?
The last one was merely a thought. :)

We finally decided on Savannah, Georgia.

Ahhhh, I love me some Savannah!

So off we went!
First though, we took the wee girlies to my dear friend Linda’s house.
She had offered to keep the girls for a whole day, and even overnight if need be!
Linda is one amazing friend!

10:30am – drop off girls, and leave for Savannah!

We spend several days a year in Savannah – it’s close enough for a day trip, but far enough away that it doesn’t happen too often.

Sometimes it’s a shopping trip, since there are so many fun places there to shop.
Sometimes it’s to take friends and relatives that come to visit.
Sometimes it’s for a date.

It’s ALWAYS fun. :)
It’s where Olivia was born.
It’s where I’ve found great deals on craigslist.

Yeah, you understand. I rather like Savannah. :)

And I especially like Savannah when I’m on a date!

We started by hitting Panera for lunch, always a favorite spot. Not too much money is spent there, but it’s such a cool atmosphere and their food is always good.

Well, almost always. For the second time in a row (several months apart) I ordered the Thai Salad, thinking it was the Asian Sesame Salad. Both times I was almost crying by the end – not from disappointment, although it’s not my favorite, but from the very poignant flavor which brought tears against my will. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I don’t really like hot spicy things in my salad. I surely will remember by next time…

We also visited a camera shop to see if they could repair our camcorder [negative, we’d have to buy a new one. :( ] and then to World Market to look for outdoor rugs. Just the little things that remind us of the reality of real life. :)

And THEN we were carefree! Off we went to Tybee Island!

I love the ocean.
I love the calmness about it.
I love the rest that the sound of the waves bring to my soul.
I love being there with my children.
I especially love being there on a day that is not so busy, with Ben.

[Tybee Lighthouse, with an old Battery built beside it]

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There was no sand castle making that day.

This was a Castles in the Sky sort of day! :)

This was a walk-along-the-beach-holding-hands day.
A lay-on-the ~~beach towel~~ flannel-blanket-and-talk day.
[we forgot beach towels]
A feeling-like-we’re-kids-again kind of day.

A lovely day!

After a few hours there, we headed to down-town Savannah.

I had secured some restaurant coupons months ago, the kind where you spend $45 and get $25 off, and so we were hoping for a really nice meal. Appetizers, dessert, drinks, [we always just order water with lemon :) ordering things we usually just think would be great…

The restaurant ended up being an awesome little building, but basically a hole in the wall with a very basic menu and cheap food. It was decent food, but there was no way we could have ordered $45 worth of food without getting most of it as take-out! We seriously wondered how this little joint ever found its way onto the internet!

They did have some interesting features though…
Such as fried crawdads…
Such as spiked ketchup…
Such as a cool little window we sat by.

[The Man]

[The Girl]

Can you guess his and her personalities by these ^^ pictures? :)

We had enough of daylight time left over to walk around the city a bit…
I love old Savannah. It’s such an ancient city.
Ancient for the United States, I should say. 1700’s is old for the U.S.

[The old Savannah Cotton Exchange, right by the river]

[how neat would it be to study at such an amazing place?]

[darling little restaurant signs]

[I love the ferns that grow out of the sides of the old brick walls]

[ not sure what this is, but it looks regal. :)]

[of course, a walk down River Street…]

[also of course, always a free praline sample]

[I love window boxes and old stone/brick work]

[so old!]

[We didn’t walk in the residential area very much, but there are amazing houses in down-town Savannah.]

[I am so fascinated by doorways]

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[How would you like to say, “I live in the house with the pink shutters.” ? :)]

And we found little places to set my camera on self-timer…
We had to some at least a few pictures of US!

Probably at least a few other people can relate to how hard it is to get a good picture of just the two of you?
Yes, us too. Lots of the kiddos. Not so many of us.

So, self-timer pictures are less than perfect. Angles and rule-of-thirds and such aren’t exactly as I’d like.
But I do like the pictures. :)

These got a little blurry, the focus was a bit off, but I liked the angle from being shot on the ground.

And we finished off with a venti iced white mocha for the ride home…

There is truly something wonderful about being able to say, and truly mean it:

“We are more in love now than we have ever been any year prior to this, including our wedding day!”

About knowing that, if you had a choice, you’d make the same decision.

This was our 6th anniversary, and honestly, this past year has been the best out of all six.
I think it’s been the hardest in some ways, and yet God has done amazing things for us.
When I married him, I didn’t know how I could love him more, my heart felt so full.
Six years later, I look back and wonder if I even loved him, our love has grown so much.

God has done some wonderful, deep things in us, and I have never been as secure in our relationship as I am now. There are whole new levels of trust and communication that have been built. He has won my heart in ways that were never open to him before, and it feels like our souls are more united that we’ve ever experienced.

So, to spend a whole day together, Ben even taking off of work, was simply wonderful!
In his words, “To have a whole day where we could just be together without constant interruption is almost heaven!!” :)

Even the driving time was sweet… He spent over a hour talking non-stop ~ reminiscing about our journey and how God brought us together.

How he remembered the first time he ever saw me (I don’t even remember the first time I saw him) and how he thought, “This could be interesting!” He had not been expecting any attraction/romantic interest while we were at Bible School together, and on day #1 he already had to go outside and walk around to clear his mind. :)

He told me about calling me dad to ask if he could date me, and how he dialed the number several times by kept hanging up because he was so nervous. About how heartbroken he was when I told him no. How almost a year later he dared to risk to ask me again, and how God did lead us together…

I was in tears by the end, it was so sweet to hear all of that from him! His memory is impeccable! And when he talked it was as if he entered into the emotions of everything all over again!

I am so grateful to God for our story, for bringing us together, for the unique way that He led us
I am so grateful for the gift of marriage that He has brought to us!
Even when I was single and independent and didn’t think I needed a man…
God knew I did.

Ben is the perfect opposite of me in many ways.
Sometimes opposites are hard work.
But a huge positive thing is that my areas of greatest weakness are his areas of greatest strength.

I love Shakespeare’s words… about commitment, about growing old together, about love that doesn’t give up in the face of disappointment or pain…

Shakespeare’s Love Sonnet 116:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.

Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever love

Ben is such a good sport about my ever-clicking camera, and even about the little self-timer deals. I was thanking him for being such a sport, and he just smiled and said he knows how much it means to me, and how I look back at a picture and am transported to the memory that is associated with it. I had once told him that, to help explain why I love pictures so much. They don’t have to be perfect pictures, but when I see a picture I am right back there in that moment. I’m thankful he understands!

And now we both can be transported back to the moment of the Celebration of the 6th…

~clarita

August 16, 2010March 20, 2013

Celebrating 5

Wow, it’s been a good past couple of weeks.

-Celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary (this was more like 2 months ago!).

– A 10-day trip back home (I still think of Pennsylvania as “home,” even though Georgia is “home” to me too. But Pennsylvania is “back home.”). Just so great. I came back feeling so blessed and overwhelmed by the family and friendships God has given me. It’s not a matter of if I have family and friends to see when I go back, but rather how much time I have to see people – which is never enough, and there are always people I wish I could have seen that I wasn’t able to, and the people I did see I wished to have seen more of.

– Celebrating my husband’s 30th birthday! This is what really made my weeks fly by, because I felt like I was planning his birthday for months! Maybe more on this at a later date.

– Olivia is walking! It took her a while to discover she really could do this, but now she is toddling all over the house. I love the word “toddle.” It sums up wobbly baby legs, balance challenges, and baby grins all in one. And lots of bumps and bruises. Don’t forget those.

It’s been a busy but happy time. This morning I thought to myself, “I am just so happy to be alive today.”

Part of that had to do with the fact that my girls slept in until 9:30 (!!!!), and I was able to have a few HOURS (hours, not minutes) alone before they awoke. That definitely is a reason to be happy. :) [And I wish I knew what I did right, so that they could sleep in again like that!]

And then, because I had some time alone with my God, I felt ready to greet them. Happily greet them, as I heard little feet pattering on the hardwood floor. Ready to greet them with long hugs and snuggles, and say, “I’m so happy to see you!” and really mean it, rather than thinking, “Oh, why did you get up so early today??!” :)

And now, at 2pm, they are just recently gone to bed because of sleeping in so late. And I have a bit of quiet once again… I love quiet.

_____________________________________

But now, here’s to celebrating 5 years of being married!

The Man.

The Lady.

This post is looking back over the past 8 years. Remembering when the love first began between Ben and me. This is going to be a nutshell version of a very veeeeery long story. :)

I was 19 when I first met him. He was hardly 22.

I was independent, loved being single, and wanted to be single until I was 30 because I loved where I was at so much. Marriage was NO WHERE in my near future.

However, I was fascinated by his crystal-blue eyes, easy-going personality, and slow southern drawl. He first noticed my curly hair and long eyelashes. :)

We had never met before, but were thrown together in a group of about 60 Bible School students for 7 weeks. We interacted, became friends, but he was seeing another girl at the time and I thought that was that.

Meanwhile, I was mapping out my next five years,which included mission trips to Africa, Colorado, Asia, as well as furthering my education. And was I ever excited. However, God started speaking to my heart and softly telling me not to view marriage so adamently. Asking me to surrender my dreams for the future, and to trust His plans, even if they were different from my own. This was such a difficult thing for me, because I really did not want to get married soon at all. But my answer to God, through much wrestling and struggle, was, “Yes, Jesus, I will do what you want me to do, whatever that is.”

Several months later, Ben asked my dad if he could date me, and after a few months of dad com municating with Ben, Ben and I had som contact through phone calls and emails. This is a really reeeeeaaaallly long story, one that I’m not going to go into detail now, but after some months my answer to Ben was “no.” Interestingly though, my heart was opening to the idea of romance , and even of marriage sometime in the future! Even though I did not think this would include Ben.

We parted ways, heartbreaking to both of us because of our friendship, but my heart was not ready for him. Over the next year, I dated another man, thinking Ben was a person of the past, and excited about where God was taking me.

But for unknown reasons, God did not give me rest with staying in that relationship. It was mysterious to me, and had nothing to do with the man himself but only the way God was leading me.

Heartbreak again. I wanted to make a vow of celebacy for the next two years just so I wouldn’t have to even think about love again! My parents refrained me, much to my (then) chagrin. They did allow me to make a 6-month commitment. Looking back, I think they really wanted me to get married! Ha!

Shortly after that, I spent two months in Central America with my sister, Jana, and two friends. Antigua, Guatemala, was where we studied Spanish, and central point from which traveled all over the country! Great times!

During those months in Central America, my heart was strangely drawn to Ben again. Wondering why, wondering how, but my heart was restful that if God had something for us in the future He would bring it to pass.

Ben asked again, brave man. And this time, almost two years after we first met, we began dating. This time my heart was ready for him, and delighted to be entering a journey alongside him!

I was 21, he was 23.

We dated long-distance of 800 miles, seeing each other about once a month for a weekend. He shocked me when proposing after only 8 months of dating, but my answer was “Yes!” Our engagement was 5 months long, two months of which I was away from home living with my widowed grandmother in Florida and then on a mission trip to Africa.

[In Africa on a mission trip, 3 months before our wedding. So neat that we were both able to go!]

Funny FUNNY looking back at these pictures! Makes me laugh, like, did we really both change so much?!

[He joined my extended family campout while we were dating.]

I was 22 when we wedded, he was 24. Such a happy happy day…

[working on our first house, tearing wallpaper off…]

And now, it’s five years later. A lot has happened in those five years. We lived in Pennsylvania, we moved to Georgia, Ben and I taught school, we had a baby girl, Ben taught another year of school, I had another baby girl…

And before we were married, people would talk about the work that it takes to have a good marriage. I would listen and politely nod, but think to myself, “They must not have the kind of relationship that WE have!” Five years later, I can honestly say that a good marriage DOES take work – hard work, and lots of it.

It’s been a wonderful, crazy, mysterious, fun, scary, beautiful, frustrating, amazing journey together! There are challenges we’ve faced that I never would have imagined, yet glad that I didn’t know about beforehand. This journey together is one that I wouldn’t trade for the world, and yet one that makes me need God more than anything in the world. This is a sacred journey, one of commiting my life to one man, until death do us part.

Because it’s in that covenant that God is revealed. We don’t bail out when it’s tough. We’re in it together, thick or thin. Easy days, fun days, hard days. We’re in this for life, and we’re going to give it our best shot. We’re going to love each other, forever…

Really cool/funny thing about this photo shoot a few weeks ago: It was taken very impromptu after a day at the beach, and my sister Claudia Barkman took the pictures. She overheard an older couple talking as they walked by. “Wedding?” asked the man [did he not see the BROWN dress?]. “No, engagement,” said the woman. We had a laugh about that later. And thought, “Awwww, we still look like we’re engaged!” while wondering what the couple thought about the two babies playing in the foreground…! :)

I’m the lucky woman who gets to be with this man!