Zoe – Skies of Parchment

March 20, 2014

Hello Spring!

spring fever quote

Ahhh, yes, hello Spring!
We’ve been seeing hints of your arrival for the past month, but this week especially we knew you were near.

This morning we woke up to beautiful warm sunshine, and it was the perfect start to springtime. All winter I was jealous of the snow in the north. But now? The north can have their snow. I’m happy to take Spring. :)

This little southern town is simply wreathed in dogwoods and Bradford pear trees and azaleas. It is the most beautiful time of the year here, and I always anticipate all the lovely blossoms everywhere.

There are little bursts of sunshine all over the house, and little touches that say,
“I’m happy spring is here!”

// In the kitchen //

Tulips in silver pitchers – I do the same thing every year, just cheap grocery store tulips in a an elegant thrifted pitcher. I love it so.

spring in the kitchen

// Dining Room //

First blooming Dogwood branches! They are my very very favorite springtime blossoms.
I just cannot get enough of them! They are dainty and soft, they are elegant and beautiful, they are unique and dazzling.

spring world

lovely spring

// Living Room //

Springtime mantel. It’s done very simply this year, with an oversized chalkboard with my favorite quote at present. It’s something I saw online, and I wish I could remember where, but I knew it must be in our home. Truly, the Gospel is all I have. Without it, I am nothing, and have nothing.

the gospel is all I have

spring mantel with fresh blossoms

// first bouquet //

Zoe is a little flower girl, always bringing in little ~~weeds~~ blooms and blossoms she finds. Then she carefully arranges them in vases and bottles of her choice. I love this about her. I found these two sitting right here on the patio table.

Zoe's first bouquet

// gardening //

Perhaps it’s more rightly called, “hopes of gardening” because there is no garden at present.
But, husband buys lots of tomato plants anyway. :)
And I am excited right along with him.
This post has me dreaming and planning… at least in my mind.

young tomatoes

// new discoveries //

On one of the first 80 degree days we had, we abandoned the house and spend the whole afternoon outside. It was glorious! Fresh sunshine does wonders for a human soul!

This little guy discovered the water hose, and I spent at least an hour just giggling at him. He was being such a little BOY, turning the hose on his sisters and hearing them shriek, and then he’d had to stop and LAUGH and laugh to himself at how much fun it all was.
Oh goodness, he just melts me in a puddle!

my darling son

hello spring!

spring beauties

// twirl //

There is something about little girls, sunshine, and twirly skirts that speak of innocence and delight, of how the world was meant to be.

One night after supper, when the evenings were getting longer and daylight stayed close to bedtime, Zoe and Olivia were running about the yard. They had chosen matching dresses earlier in the day “Because we want people to think we’re twins!!”. I looked out the window to see them laughing and twirling, arms stretched out wide, spinning until they tumbled, and then back up again, doing it all over.

I was mesmerized. It was so carefree, so uninhibited.
It was living fully in the moment, simply delighted with sunshine and each other and skirts that spin wide.

It was worship.
I want to live like that.

spring twirlers innocent happiness

Happy Spring, my friends!

Let yourself be loved of God today, and twirl.

November 15, 2013November 15, 2013

Surprised by Jesus.

First all, I want to say a huge THANK YOU for all the kind words & comments & messages & helpful advice on the previous post. I cannot even tell you how blessed I felt by every single one! Time hasn’t allowed me to respond to each of you so far, but know that I so appreciate you all. Wow. I know surgeries like this happen all the time and I was feeling like an over-protective mother, and your words encouraged me SO much. You will really have no idea!!

*****************

Zoe said something the afternoon of her surgery that pretty much sums up how this week has been for all of us. We had come home, but she was still too weak to walk around alone. But in the middle of all of that she said,

“Mommy, I was surprised by Jesus today. You told me this would be a time when I would know how much Jesus will take care of me: AND HE DID!!”

I don’t think my mommy heart has ever swelled so big. Tears splashed out of my eyes, and we hugged each other tight.

That is just our Jesus: to take something scary and unknown, and turn it into something beautiful. Jesus didn’t just help her be brave through it all; He showed her Himself, and His great love. I was blown away.

Just a bit of surgery recap, for those who are interested…

// the night before the surgery, another journal entry by Zoe:
“I am having surgery tomorrow. I am trying to be brave.
I hope I will know that God is with me!”
// hashtag meltmeinapuddle //

Zoe, Ben, & I arrived at the hospital at 6am Tuesday morning. Zoe took along her favorite little stuffed animal (yep, she’s a stuffed animal lover), and we were in various waiting & hospital rooms for the next about two hours, with nurses in and out.

// 6 o’clock A.M, in the hospital //

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// the cutest little kid i ever saw in a hospital gown and cap //

surgery 214

We prayed together, we read stories , Zoe & I painted our nails together. We talked about how Jesus would take care of her and be with her,even when we weren’t there. “Jesus is inside of me, and that’s really close to me!” she laughed. It was a calm feeling, and Zoe had not one trace of fear. It was amazing. I thought of the people who were praying for her and realized again how powerful prayer really is.

// painting our nails a matching color //

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// a little gift from the hospital which was immediately loved upon by Zoe //

surgery 223

surgery 230

Then came the hard part: kissing Zoe goodbye, ME – not her – trying to hold back the tears as we watched the four nurses roll her little bed down the long hallway, her little blonde head bravely peeping over the top. *deep breath*

In that moment I thought of the many mothers & fathers that I know that have done that – and often in much harder situations than this. Yes, there are risks with a tonsillectomy, but it’s still SO minor compared to say, open-heart surgeries, or brain operations, or surgeries because of legs not growing properly, or… Wow. Letting go of your child in that moment is so difficult!! I have new sympathy for parents like that.

Then Ben & I waited another 45 minutes, watching the screen that said “Number _____ in surgery.” It’s a surreal feeling.

A super neat thing during that waiting time was when a dear friend of ours, a nurse, came out and let us know she would be there for the surgery and helping in the recovery room.

We were allowed to be with Zoe almost as soon as she was out of surgery and in the recovery room. She was still out from the anesthesia, and had an oxygen tube right by her mouth. Within 10 minutes she was waking up, and I was so glad we could be there for that!

The nurses showed us her tonsils in a jar, and said they were some of the largest they’ve ever seen. Not gonna lie – seeing my daughter’s body parts in a jar was a little too much for me to handle. I have a vivid imagination, and just picturing what her poor throat must be like after slicing those giant-marble-sized tonsils out…. Well, it wasn’t one of my finest moments! Yikes. Enough about that!

She drank some juice, ate a popsicle, was transferred to another room, and very soon we were being discharged and headed home!

The rest of this week has been so much better than I ever expected in many ways. There has been no hemorrhaging so far, something I was really scared about. She is on pain medication every four hours, day & night, ever since we brought her home, and if I’m late giving it she started hurting pretty bad. But while on schedule with the pain meds, she really isn’t in pain. Discomfort and some weakness, yes, but not pain. It’s amazing.

We’ve read lots of books, watched just a few little movies (Anne of Green Gables is still on hold at the library :( ), and really spent a lot of time with each other. Zoe’s love language is quality time, and is she ever loving all this one-on-one time! :)

Although she’s pretty much been on the sofa since Tuesday, she’s been able to drink well and has been okay eating soft food, still mostly cold (thanks for all the great suggestions with food & drinks on the post before this ~ that was SO helpful!).

Little Sis Olivia is really milking the system too… Ice cream whenever Zoe wants it?
Well, of course she needs some too!
And applesauce for supper? Yes please, I’ll take some!
Yummy juice drinks & protein shakes? Don’t forget about me!!
:)
And so she’s included in it all too, because I want it to be a fun week for everyone.

// ice cream has become nearly as common as drinking water :) //

Surgery 2 036

And we have been BLOWN AWAY by the kindness of people in our life. Blown away. They have been the loved of God with skin on! Zoe has loved the visitors, and had ice cream and balloons and a little stuffed princess bear brought to the door, and the mail delivery almost every day since then has brought more surprises than any little girl would ever dream of! Olivia thinks having surgery sounds like a blast, and has made wistful comments about wishing she could have HER tonsils removed. Ha!

// we decided this would be home-ecky-becky week 101 //

Surgery 2 009

Surgery 2 019

The recovery time is two weeks, which is longer than I realized it would be. That means no running, no hard playing, nothing that really gets the heart-rate up and pumping fast. That will be the hard part, because this little girl is a tomboy! And sitting still that long won’t be easy. She can return back to school studies next week, and people have given great gifts for a long recovery – a puzzle, bead set, coloring books, little cooking projects, writing activities & art projects. I’m not even joking, we have the best friends anyone could ever ask for!! It is so humbling to be cared for so very much. I’m so wowed. And Zoe keeps saying, “They are just SO KIND! I can’t believe they gave this to me!”

// Grandma came over with a sweet package of fun little games //

surgery 244

// special delivery: balloons and a bear from our church ♥ //

Surgery 2 002

// fun glasses make smoothies taste even better //

surgery 242

It has been so very precious to see how God has used an experience like a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy to boost the faith of a six-year old little girl. He has taken something that could have been terrifying and scarring into something that has instead been huge building blocks of her own little walk with God.

This week it seems like her walk has gone from believing that Jesus loves her to experiencing that He really does. Soon after the surgery she asked me, “Mommy, can we thank Jesus for helping me be so brave?” She doesn’t take credit for the bravery ~ she knows it was Jesus.

And I love that He didn’t just help her be brave: He showed her more of Who He is. He showed her that He takes good care of her! I love that!

Before I had kids of my own I never would have known that a little child can have a relationship with Jesus. Now that I have children? I’m completely amazed. It is no wonder that Jesus said we must have the faith of a child to enter the Kingdom of Heaven!

Thanks again for all the love, prayers, & care! It has meant so much. The family of Christ means more to me all the time!

November 11, 2013November 11, 2013

Tomorrow.

When Ervina comes to visit 138

These children? They are actually the real teachers.

One of the first times I realized this was when Zoe was around two years old. I had specifically been praying about how to teach her to pray, because I felt that I was very weak in that area. And how do you teach something that you are still learning?

I was outside one morning, hanging out laundry (yes, those are by-gone days), and I heard a little voice talking, but I couldn’t see her. Walking around, I saw my little daughter sitting on the grass, hands folded, praying with words that weren’t even all intelligible. “I pray, Mommy,” she lisped, and I stepped back softly. This was holy ground, and I didn’t want to interrupt a sacred time.

My eyes filled with tears, because I remembered my prayers, and realized that God was filling in the cracks for me. I’m not a perfect parent – I never will be a perfect parent. And it’s for that that we need Jesus – because we cannot do it on our own, and we cannot turn the heart of a child to her Savior. Only the Spirit of God can do it.

When Ervina comes to visit 015

Since that day several years ago, she still challenges me in prayer. If she has a bad attitude, often all I need to say it, “You need to go talk with Jesus, Sweetie.” And she’ll go into her bedroom, and soon I’ll hear a little voice with tears in it, words tumbling out on top of each other, sometimes angry, sometimes upset, sometimes sorrowful, but talking with Jesus. And most times when she comes back out, her heart is calm and peaceful. Sometimes I need to still talk something out with her, but many times, that’s all it takes. I’m so amazed at how the Spirit of God can work in a heart so young.

[post interrupted because of a case in point :) ]

Recently she’s taken to journaling a bit. My sisters and I are all the journaling type. Not necessarily every day, but often a few times a week. So if she sees me writing in mine in the morning, she will often sit beside me with her own little journal and pen.

Looking through that little book feels like snooping to me, but she doesn’t seem to mind. This particular entry blessed me so much, because I know it’s not something I can manufacture in her. Her little heart is so fully trusting in the goodness of God! It is such a privilege to be taught by these precious little children.

PicMonkey Collage

“God is my God. He will not harm me, but He loves me.”

Tomorrow, Zoe is having surgery for a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy. From the time she was a wee girl, she’s had such trouble with strep throat and awful allergies, among other things. Doctors gasp at the size of her big tonsils. I know the surgery is one that will help her in the long run, but today, I have a queasy feeling in my stomach at the thought of a knife being taken to my baby.

She’s being so brave, but this morning we sat and cuddled for a long time on the sofa, she talking and asking questions, and me trying not to cry when she says she’s scared. Truth is, I’m scared too! I wish it were me instead of her. The hardest part is not being able to be with her until she’s sleeping, and being scared about hemorrhaging afterward…

So, if you could pray for Zoe [okay, and her mommy!] on Tuesday morning, we would be grateful! It’s an out-patient surgery, so we will be back home sometime tomorrow.

When Ervina comes to visit 159

The rest of the week I’m just expecting to lay low, read lots of books, introduce Zoe to “Anne of Green Gables” and any other idea you may have to keep a six-year old occupied on the sofa for a few days??

Also, the nurse told me to feed her popsicles & ice cream until she can eat food with texture again. And while I’m not a health nut, that just sounds like a tummy ache to me! Do any of you know of other smooth textured-foods that would be safe & at least somewhat nutritious?

When Ervina comes to visit 177

Thank you in advance for your prayers, your helpful advice :) and care! I wish you all a lovely week!

September 25, 2012March 5, 2013

The Ocean and a Birthday Girl

The walls were closing in around me yesterday morning.
My mind and heart were full, of things that weren’t really things to talk about to anyone but God.
I was [very wrongly] becoming short-tempered and snappy at my children.
Monday morning was one such morning.

I needed a change of scenery. I needed to get my mind off myself and the things that were overwhelmingly mountainous.
I needed to get outside of my four walls, go to the ocean and gaze at the Bigness of God.

We may live in a very small town that doesn’t have perks, but being near the coast has many perks.
Including being able to pack up last minute and taking spontaneous trips to the ocean.
Monday was one such day.

It was THE perfect beach day.
Up north they may be wearing snazzy boots and wrapping cold fingers around Pumpkin Spice lattes.
But I was at the ocean, digging my toes in the sand and enjoying 85 degree sunshine.
There was wave-jumping with the girls, holding a blinking Hudson in the bright sun,
talking to the senior citizens that strolled the beach and stopped with chat.
I guess a mom by herself with three kids looks like she needs someone to talk to. :)

And my very deepest core was refreshed in the BIGNESS of my God.

Looking at the ocean, gazing as far as I could see, I was amazed all over again that He created it with simply a WORD.

Holding sand in my hand, the grains trickling down as in an hourglass, and the sand innumerable in such a small handful,
and yet He knows the number of ALL the grains of sand on all the seashores of the world!

The answer rang true in the depths of my heart as I sat there.

As my children delighted in His creation, laughing and shouting and running in their pink tutus.

As I pondered the wildness of the ocean ~ of how men try to tame many things on earth, but the ocean is untouchable.
It’s God’s territory. The deepest part 7 miles deep? My mind can’t even fathom that.
How the moon causes the tides, how there is nothing to change the rising and falling,
how He created it all to function so perfectly… so wildly.

And my heart of hearts said, “You ARE Big enough, God. You are BIG enough.”

Not that my “things” are suddenly gone. They don’t – poof – disappear into thin air (unfortunately).
They are as real and as difficult as ever.
But I know in my heart of hearts that God is Bigger.

And yet in that Bigness, far beyond what I can even comprehend, He cares. Cares. About ME.
One person in billions. He’s Gentle.

This morning I was looking for the verses about Him thinking of me, and was moved nearly to tears.

“How precious also are your thoughts toward me, O God.
How vast is the sum of them!
If I could count them, they would be more in number than the sand!
When I awake, could I count to the end, I would still be with You!
[Psalm 139:17-18]

Whatever is big today, in my life, in yours, know that He IS Bigger!

________________________________________________________________

Since these pictures were taken on Zoe’s birthday [two months ago :)]
and I never did a post on her, I’ll add that little bit in as well.

Turning FIVE was a big deal this summer!
Birthdays are so anticipated at that age, the countdown is on for weeks!
Months, actually. :)
While mommy is saying, “Oh, just stay little! Please just stay little!”

If at all possible, we like to DO something together as a family on birthdays,
rather than making a big deal with gifts.
There are a few gifts, because it wouldn’t seem complete without them,
but making memories together is the big deal.

Zoe chose to spend the day at the ocean together,
and as her birthday fell on a Saturday, it worked out splendidly.

On the birthday morning she went out for breakfast with Daddy.
It’s tradition – you get a date with Daddy on a birthday.

Then we had a little party at home, just the 5 of us.
She loves princess things, and picked out a cake.
The picture made me gasp in fear when I saw it, because how on earth could an amateur make it?
But I attempted it, and I may never attempt another one in my life. :)

The leaning-tower-of-pisa castle cake

The day got later and later, and at 2:30 after the date and party we STILL hadn’t even left for the ocean.
I knew it would mean a super short time by the ocean,
and so we spontaneously made it an overnighter.
You know, make it a family weekend instead of just a day. :)
It was the best decision, and a wonderful time.

Zoe’ Grace, meaning “Empowering Strength and Life of God,”
truly does bring so much life into our family.

She is the most thoughtful one of the two girls, constantly thinking and pondering.
She has a ready giggle too, and has the wildest imagination.
When the two girls get to playing, we have our very own radio drama.
It is so entertaining, but she gets a sheepish grin if she realizes we were listening in.

She’s quite the fashionista, loving to chose her own outfits.
And let me tell ya, they are one-of-a-kind. Brights and patterns being in high demand.
We finally reached a happy medium:
at home, she can wear whatever she wants;
when we go away, she wears whatever *I* want. :)

She’s a super cleaner-upper, and the rooms can go from tornado-just-came-through
to looking as though I was the one that picked everything up.

She is so merciful, nearly reaching tears thinking of someone who is hurt.
We talk about natural disasters in other countries,
of orphans, of children who were abandoned by family.
Her eyes will widen and deepen with sorrow until I could almost fall in them.

Once after we were talking about orphans, she stated,
“God picked me to go to them. When I’m bigger, I’m going to go take care of them.”
She also has plans of a husband and large family (8 children) assisting her.
Or sometimes “my husband will watch our kids while I help the poor children.”
In all seriousness, she is planning to be a missionary.

Once, after Ben talking to them about Heaven the night before,
she came to me near tears, saying she wants to go to Heaven.
“Sweetie, if you love and obey Jesus, you will!” I assured her.
I quickly discovered she did not mean just sometime in the future.
She wanted to go soon; NOW in fact.
She followed me around the house, begging me to let her go!
And I would say, “Sweetie! God knows when it’s time! Don’t worry!”
Finally she said, “Mommy! But I want to go NOW! I want to go when I’m little so I can sit on Jesus’ lap!
Can you please pray and ask Jesus if I can go now?” almost crying.

I stared at her and burst into tears myself.
Don’t you hear of these kinds of things just before a tragedy??
What if this is a premonition??
I stopped everything, leaned down and hugged her tight.
“No, Sweetie. I can’t pray that. But even if you’re big, you can still sit on Jesus’ lap,” I assured her.
We talked some more, about God knowing the best time, and how we have to trust Him.
Me more than her, I’m sure!!

Zoe is very conscious of hearing the voice of God, and will sometimes tell me of the struggle.
“Satan was telling me to be mean to Olivia, but I said, “No! I will not listen to you! I listen to GOD!”

She is PRECIOUS.
Yes, she has times of disobedience, of willfulness, of the wickedness of Adam in her.
But even as a little child, her heart is so turned toward the things of God.

I am overwhelmed with joy at the privilege of parenting her.
And sometimes I’m incredibly sobered at the responsibility of pointing her soul toward God.
I can’t make any decisions for her, but I can point her toward Jesus.

She will also call me out. One day I was extremely exasperated with Olivia
and spoke very harshly to her, to put it mildly.
Zoe spoke up, actually crying, even though it was not to her that I talked,
“I don’t like it when you talk like that to my sister! You weren’t talking nicely!”

And God uses my own children teach me and refine me.

A few quotes:
~ In the car one day,
“Can you turn the air conditioner down, please? It’s blowing FURIOUSLY in my face.”

~ She lives in the south, this is true. When devastated about something or other,
“That just broke my heart!”

~ When she and I were going around the yard killing fire ants,
“Here look!! There’s a whole FLEET of them!”
saying later that’s what Curious George says.

~”I’m not always going to be a mopper,” as she grabbed a mop and started cleaning,
in all kinds of dressed-up, regal finery.
“I’m going to marry a prince! And tonight is the ball game!”
A Redneck Cinderella, for sure.

~”Did you know that when I have children, you and daddy are going to be their GRANDPA AND GRANDMA!?”
Please, child. You’re just FOUR. Don’t call me Grandma yet.

~ One day when we were saying what we’re thankful for:
“I’m thankful that satan is ‘ccomplished. ”Complished’ means that Jesus is stronger than satan.
…and I’m thankful for my Bible, because I read it and it tells me about God,
cuz I don’t love satan, only Jesus. The Bible says, “You are my Shield, and You are my Rod,
and You are my Road…” God is doing a work in my heart… I’m thankful for the Ten Commandments
so I can obey God…”

~ Saying goodbye to her little pink bunny blanket that she had since one month old, and slept with every night.
I expected a very emotional, tearful goodbye, but it was very jovial:
“Goodbye! Nice sleeping with you for a long time!”

~ Last autumn, at the first glimpse of changing leaves on the trees,
“It looks like they have red skirts on, and they twirl!!”

Zoe Grace, it’s a delight to be your mommy!

~ clarita

September 20, 2012March 19, 2013

The Shaping

The Shaping.

“Our natural reason looks at marriage and turns up its nose and says, ”
Alas! Must I rock the baby? wash its diapers? make its bed? smell its stench?
stay at nights with it? take care of it when it cries? heal its rashes and sores?
and on top of that care for my spouse, provide labor at my trade?
take care of this and take care of that? do this and do that?
and endure this and endure that? Whey should I make such a prisoner of myself?”
What then does Christian faith say to this?
It opens its eyes, looks upon all these insignificant,
distasteful and despised duties in the spirit,
and is aware that they are all adorned with divine approval
as with the costliest gold and jewels.
It says, “O God, I confess I am not worthy to rock that little babe
or wash its diapers,
or to be entrusted with the care of a child and its mother.
How is it that I without any merit have come to this distinction of being certain
that I am serving Thy creature and Thy most precious will?
Oh, how gladly will I do so.
Though the duty should be even more insignificant and despised,
neither frost nor heat,
neither drudgery nor labor will distress me
for I am certain that it is thus pleasing in Thy sight.”
[Martin Luther]

“There is no nobler career than that of motherhood at its best.
There are no possibilities greater,
and in no other sphere does failure bring more serious penalties.
With what diligence then should she prepare herself for such a task.
If the mechanic who is to work with “things” must study at technical school,
if the doctor into whose skilled hands
will be entrusted human lives must go through medical school…
how much more should the mother who is fashioning the souls of the men and women of tomorrow,
learn at the highest of all schools and from the Master-Sculptor Himself, God.
To attempt this task, unprepared and untrained is tragic,
and its results affect generations to come.
On the other hand there is no higher height
to which humanity can attain than that of a converted, heaven-inspired, praying mother.”
[unknown author]

Having three kids… I’ve really been conscious of how much kids have to be taught.
They come into the world as a blank slate, and have to be taught everything!
Obedience,
how to respond cheerfully,
how to be kind.
How to hold a fork,
how to cut with a knife,
place the napkin in your lap.
Remember to include your younger sister,
sisters should be great friends.
Manners, phone etiquette, even polite voice inflection!
“Yes ma’am” “No sir” and “I don’t care for that” instead of “eewww! that look gross!”
How to hang your clothes up neatly.
Place the spoons with the spoons and forks with the forks.
How to put the pillows back on the sofa as they were.
How to hold a pencil.
Please don’t throw your clothes on the floor.
Pick up the toys after your bath.
God is One God, but He is a Trinity.
We can’t be good enough on our own; that’s why we need Jesus.
God is in Heaven, He holds the world in His hand,
and yet He wants to live within us.
Please apologize to your father for being disrespectful.
Oh, and did you know your knees are ticklish?…….

It it really an endless list! But it’s actually been rather exciting to me.
Rather than becoming frustrated by things, I want to take the opportunity to teach.
There is an exciting world out there to learn about!
And in character training, not to become exasperated so easily,
but show them the better way of doing things.
Goodness, how being a mother is refining!
Patience? Gentleness?
It takes on a whole new meaning when, instead of one, there are four of you! :)

I’ve recently read The Shaping of a Christian Family by Elisabeth Elliot,
and it is one of the best books I’ve read on intentional parenting.
The teaching/training encouragement I’ve felt is due to that book,
and the quotes are all from there.

“It’s much easier for the parents to pick things up themselves than to call the child,
show him what he has left lying about, tell him where to put it,
and see that he puts it there – and remind him the next time.
“Much easier” only at the moment, I mean…
It is a sort of ‘severe mercy’,
for the parents are sparing themselves endless pains when they take the trouble to teach,
and, far more importantly,
are sparing the children the frustration and confusion of disorder for the rest of their lives…”
[e. elliot]

Hudson, pictures at 3 months [though he is now 4.5]
Stats at 4 months:
-15 pounds -26 inches (so therefore grew 6 inches since birth)
– is the biggest eater we’ve had, since 1 month he’s drinking 4-7 ounces of milk at a time,
every three hours
– loves guacomole, rice & beans, salmon, mashed potatoes…
let’s just say he completely skipped the baby food stage and went straight for the real deal.
He cracks us up
– the girls were never even interested in food until at least 6 months.s
– rolls over from tummy to back and is extremely frightened by that ability
– goes into fits of laughter when his sisters talk to him
– recognizes his bottle and a spoon coming toward him, and is almost beside himself with excitement
– still goes by “HUT-son”
with emphasis on the “HUT” according to his two sisters, from birth to now.
They sounds like they’re either
a) from Holmes County, Ohio, or b) African-American.
Neither is a bad thing, I guess. :)

I can’t believe that he was still inside of me 4.5 months ago.
That we didn’t know him, we wondered what gender he was.
Now he really is a part of our family, and we absolutely adore him!
I never knew a boy could be so much fun.

SO MUCH FUN.

Hudson - 3 months 118

My husband’s take on his outfit: “We’re rednecks, and you make him look like he’s an Englishman!”
My take on the outfit: “I don’t mind bringing some class.”
:)
Hudson - 3 months 117

Zoe and Olivia.
Summer of Twenty-Twelve. Turned 3 and 5.

Olivia Caroline.

Dimple Girl.
Recently discovered she loves to color.
Has a mischievous sparkle in her eyes at almost all times.
Is a snuggle bunny. Is also like the energizer bunny.
Has a personality that is full of drama.

DREADS naptime so badly all morning she has a hard time focusing on the present joy at hand.
“Is it time for my nap yet?” she’ll ask multiple times before noon.
Naptime is only okay when I lay down beside her and we pretend:
one day we’re cats, the next we’re birds, the next we’re bunnies.
“Now Baby Bunny, we have to be quiet in our little nest so the foxes don’t hear us!”
And then mostimes the joy of pretending overshadows the dullness of naptime.

[and please don’t laugh at my amateur attempts at sunflare. ;)
I thought of all the amazing photographers I’m friends with
who would have made this perfect lighting even more perfect, and groaned within myself… ]

Zoe Grace.
Deep thinker.
Is Mama #2 to baby boy.
Began Kindergarten this year, and most days loves it.
Loves to draw, to write, to do anything involving paint or drawing.
Has began to like putting outfits together.
Has a very sensitive heart to the things of God.
Is very happy to graduate from Naptime to Quiet Time within the past year.
Is extremely ticklish and LOVES to be tickled.
Daddy’s Girl.
Very athletic, and can run as fast as the boys.

The Sisterhood that is my Daughters.

Some days the best of enemies. Most days the best of friends.
I’m so glad they have each other.

credits:

Hudson
hat: H & M
outfit: gift from friend, Ralph Lauren
basket: junk store
old quilt: Goodwill
baby: straight from Heaven

Zoe and Olivia
boots: Goodwill and re-use-it shop, one given from my sister Claudia
dresses: gifted from my sister Ervina
gumball machine: husband bought at an auction in February
headbands: My Faire Lady (facebook)
little girls: straight from God’s heart to ours

~ enJOY this day!
clarita

August 3, 2011March 7, 2013

Of a Birthday and Cake Pops

We celebrated a birthday last week!
It was a much-anticipated birthday. Much anticipated.
I suppose this was the first year that she really understood what was happening.
What there was to look forward to.
It was Zoe’s birthday!

She’s been talking about her birthday for weeks.
Probably because Olivia’s birthday is just a few months before
and that gives her even more reason to look forward to her own.

In keeping of family tradition of doing something special on the day of the birthday,
I asked her early in the week what she’d like to do for her birthday.
She didn’t need to think long, and said,
“Go to the beach!!”
So a beach day was planned, and a little friend and his mom and brother invited along,
since daddy wasn’t going to be able to go this time.

The day of the birthday she awoke so excited she didn’t know what to do with herself.
We had planned a little party for the following night,
and she suddenly didn’t want to go the beach after all,
lest she not be able to have a party and turn four!
Since she thought we all know she can’t turn four before her party.
And turning FOUR is the event of her year!
It took a bit of cajoling and convincing and talking
to make her feel comfortable enough to be okay with the beach idea
without fear of missing the entire party!
But at last she was convinced and excited!

Picnic packed,
beach gear loaded,
sunscreen grabbed,
towels tucked in,
chairs folded,
off we went!
It’s a lot of work to remember everything!
And I even forgot the salsa for the chips I packed.

It was the perfect day to be at the ocean.
Blue blue skies.
Enough breeze to cool our skin from the heat of the sun.
Enough space for active little children to run and jump and play!
I don’t know if our children or if us mothers enjoyed the day more. :)

Of Birthdays and Cake Pops 3

There is something about the ocean that is so soothing and restful,
even when there are four active children running around. :)
I wish I could live there…

It seems that I have just as pictures of the little sister as the actual birthday girl.
I think Zoe was so busy running around that it was hard to get a good picture of her!

We went on a long walk with the wagon and stroller,
and when we came back we realized we had forgotten how fast the tide can rise…

Not a pretty picture, and it was even more sad in real life.
My phone was in that pile, and was ruined, losing all my contact information. :(
That was the only sad thing about the day though, because it was so much fun for everyone!

We met Ben for supper, since he was working nearby, and he was able to be finish out the day with us!

And because it was her birthday, she was able to choose some candy…
much to her great delight!

We gave a bit bigger gift than normal this year…
[so the next few gifts will be smaller :)]
We had wanted a gift that encourages creativity and imagination,
not just that adds another toy to the collection.
The wonderful idea was given of a dollhouse…
so I searched craigslist and found this!
It included quite a bit of furniture as well, and we were all delighted!
I say “we” because little sis wants to be in all the action and play as well…

It has provided hours of creative play already!
As well as many opportunities for big and little sis to learn how to cooperate
and play together without fighting… :{

The following day was the party day,
and Zoe and I spent pretty much all day making
cake pops!

I’ve been sucked into the cake pop rage,
thinking they are just the more adorable little things ever!
I had shown Zoe a picture several weeks prior
and that is what she wanted for her party.

Sooooo, we attempted them, using Bakerella’s recipe.
We had fun,
we were almost in tears,
they were a blast to make,
they were a trial to make,
they were much harder to make than I ever thought!!!
[I may do a tutorial later on in the event that someone else would like to make them,
and just throw in a few tips I wish I would have known.]

We finished them up less than an hour before the party started.
Whew. That’s too close.
That’s a little stressful.

Zoe’s second cousin, Matthew, has a birthday two days after hers, so we celebrated together!
We invited a few of their mutual little friends to play at the park,
and had a few dessert munchies as well.

My great relief at having completed the cake pops in time lasted only briefly…
Because it was a very hot day
(117 degrees with the heat index – I know, crazy to be outside at all)
the chocolate on my dear little pops melted
and the pops did a graceful slide down their little poles and plopped onto the tray.
It was very very sad!

Little Matthew turned 3!

Zoe informed everyone she was now four.

Some of the little friends, looking adorable in their pint-sized chairs.

Happy birthday, sweet girl!
We love having you in our family!

And like you love for me to tell you,
“I’m sooo glad you’re my little girl, Zoe!
If you would be anyone else’s little girl,
I would be jealous!
And I would wish that you were mine!”
[she asks me to say this to her. :)]

You are dearly loved!

And the flurry of birthdays will be over…
after this Saturday, when Husband celebrates his!

~clarita

April 29, 2010March 20, 2013

“But, You’re Very Going to Miss Me!”

These were the words of my two year old daughter.

It all began a week before, when Zoe, age two, and her Papa (my dad) were talking on the phone. My phone presently only works on speakerphone mode, so I could hear their entire conversation.

I could scarcely believe my ears though, when I heard my dad say to her, “…And ask Mommy if you could come up to Papa’s house for a week…”

In my head all I saw was this: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A week! WHAT?!

She’s only TWO. She’s still my baby. I’ve never been away from her for a week.

The situation was this: my mom, sister, and brother were coming to help us paint our little cottage in a couple of days. After they returned home, it would be a week exactly until we saw the rest of my sisters at a wedding out of state. So transportation for Zoe to visit my old home would be perfect, albeit there would be 18 hours of driving for her until we’d see her again.

I mentioned the idea to Ben. Surely he wouldn’t agree to something so outrageous.

We talked about it. Actually, it became a possibility.

Zoe tends to be very cautious. Even as a baby, she would hardly ever have bumps or bruises on her body from falling. She was just that careful. She didn’t walk until 14 months because she wanted to be absolutely sure she could do it perfectly. Her little sister is the opposite – she’s had black and blue marks all over her almost from the start, and she keeps right on tumbling!

So we’ve talked about it before that we need to watch for opportunities to push Zoe a bit. Present her with ways to develop confidence and courage.

But when it came down to a perfect opportunity like this, I felt like I, the mother, was being pushed far more than my child! Could I really let her go that far away, for so long?

So my mother, sister, and brother came. And I didn’t talk much about her going back with them. Rather hoping the idea would go away.

It didn’t.

The night before they left to return home, I mentioned the idea to Zoe. She was excited about it, but I told her that Daddy and I still need to talk about it. We’re still not sure what’s going to happen.

Meanwhile, we talked. Yes, she can go, we decided. This is a great opportunity for her to spend time with my family whom she rarely sees, we said. And this will push her out of her comfort zone a bit, we kept saying, trying to convince ourselves that we could do this!

So the next morning I called her into her bedroom, where I was gathering some pieces of clothing together.

“Sweetie, do you still want to go to Pennsylvania with Nana?” I asked.

“But, you’re very going to miss me!

You’re very going to cry!”

Zoe said to me, with a greatly concerned look on her face.

‘Very’ is her favorite word these days.

And she wrapped her soft little arms around my neck and hugged me tight. I choked back the lump in my throat. She’s concerned about me?? More worried about me than about being gone that long??

Then she suddenly released her tight hold and leaned back to look me in the eye.

“I want to go!” she said, nodding her curly head.

Then I explained to her how she would be gone for seven days – 7 naps and 7 nights, and how she would see all the aunties and uncles and Papa and Nana, and have a lot of fun, and how she needs to tell them when she needs to go potty [and other motherly instructions], and then after that we would see her!

She understood, and was very aware of all that was happening.

And I strapped her in the carseat in the back of Nana’s car, kissed her lots of times, told her “I love you! I’m going to miss you!” a hundred times.

I tried hard to be brave, but I couldn’t help the couple of tears that squeezed out of my eyes. My little girl is growing up too fast!

And I waved goodbye until I couldn’t see the car anymore…

I called Ben and cried some more.

Then I sat down in a little quiet house, with the remaining baby sleeping, and really cried.

You’d think it’s the two year old that is crying as she says goodbye.
But oh no, it’s her mother that’s a weeping, teary mess!

Letting go.

Already. I thought that would be when she’s eighteen or something. Not two. Gracious, not two.

How my heart struggles against that. I want her to stay close to Ben and me so we can always know where she is, and so we can protect her, and keep her safe.

I KNEW my family would do their best to take care of her. And that she would have a wonderful time there. It’s just that I can’t be right there with her too.

Husband and I were talking later… How we feel like we can care for her when we’re right there. And when we’re not right there, I can get so freaked out…

The road.

The pond.

The many cars.

So many potential dangers for a curious two year old!

Learning to trust God in a brand new way as I said goodbye to my daughter.
Asking God to watch and keep her with the many hours on the road.
Asking Him to protect her precious, beautiful life.
Realizing He is a far better Guardian and Protector than Ben or I could ever be.

It’s been a long week without my little Zoe-girl.

I miss our little naptime cuddles and sweet-talks.
I miss her chatter and funny sayings that keep me laughing all throughout the day.
So many little things that only she can bring to our lives.

It’s made me realize, BIG-TIME realize, how much I LOVE being a mother.

Sometimes, in the everyday-ness of life, things seem rather mundane, uneventful, unexciting.

I remember my adventurous days of singleness, and while I’ve never regretted for one moment the decision to have children, I loved my life back then. Life now can sometimes seem far less than glamorous.

I feel like I get lost sometimes inbetween dirty diapers, taking a two-year old potty, and dirty laundry.

But in a week like this, I’m reminded of this:

I AM SO BLESSED.
And,
I LOVE MY LIFE.

No, life may not be that “glamorous” and “exciting” and “adventurous” as it once was, but it is BEAUTIFUL.

These days of dirty diapers and dirty laundry are also days of

loving,
laughing,
giving,
exploring,
hugs,
baby kisses,
purity and innocence,
enjoying little gifts and simple pleasures,
teaching precious children about Jesus,
swing rides,
visits to the park,
cuddling sleepy babies,
fulfilling a dream.

Really, what’s not to love?