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Wild + Free Schooling [while city living]

This is our 6th year with kids in school. I KNOW. It blows my mind too. Zoe is our oldest, in 5th grade, and then Olivia is in 3rd, and Hudson in K5.  I’m not sure how I ever got old enough to have a 10 year old daughter, or be big enough to have four kids, but here we are!

I attended the Wild + Free Conference in Nashville in September, and if you’re a home educating mama, let me just tell you about this balm to my soul! I’ve not talked a lot about our choice to home educate, because I know that healthy parents do what they feel is best regarding education.  For some, that’s a school setting. For others, it’s home education. And I’m a cheerleader to any parent who is invested in their children and who cares enough about them to do what is best. And I truly believe that it is varied per child, family, age, and many other factors. I want to be a cheerleader to other mamas, and although education can be a divisive issue for some, that’s clearly not my intention.

So whether you’re a home educating mama or not, I’m hoping these little nuggets from the Wild + Free Conference will encourage you.


I first saw the Wild + Free community on Instagram quite a few years ago, when my kiddos were quite young. I was intrigued by what I saw, and when they started doing podcasts, I loved listening and learning. I don’t know about you, but even after 6 years of this gig, I still don’t always feel like I know what I’m doing! ;) So this spring a couple of friends and I finally decided to just sign up and jump on a jet place for a weekend with 800+ other women, and it was like pink drink to my soul – ha ha. Nourishing, delicious, so what I needed.

It was a group of Jesus-loving mamas who loved deeply, lived intentionally, but weren’t trying to portray a perfect image of motherhood or even home education for that matter. And while being genuine and real has always mattered to me, the older I became (ripe old 34 right here), the more I love the lack of pretense, the real and genuine, the not-trying-to-impress, but the sharing of what’s worked, what really matters, and “Mama, you’re brave. Let’s do this together.” (cue the tears because MAN, sometimes just being a mama is hard work and lonely and I just need someone to tell me I’m brave and strong and doing a good job even if I’m not perfect at it).

We learned from so many women, including Sally Clarkson,  Leah Boden,  Sarah MacKenzie, Jodi Mockabee (Talking about Sex and how that relates to kids, anyone? SO GOOD – but not what I’ll talk about today ;)),  Tina Ingold, Jennifer Pepito, and goodness, it was the coolest group of homeschoolers I’ve ever been in. Not your grandma’s denim-jumper-wearing crowd – ha! ;)

There were golden nuggets that strengthened my soul, made tears prick my eyes with encouragement, and gave me courage to carry on…These little snippets are a compilation of various speakers mentioned.

…What are things you want your kids to remember in 20 years? What do you want your kids to remember about you as a mother? Sometimes the best way to live well now is to ask questions about what we want in the future, and then make decisions based on your answers and what matters to you. Right now can sometimes seem so close that it’s hard to get perspective. Ask those questions instead of asking what you want your kids to turn out like, because then you won’t turn your kids into projects.

… The best homeschool year ever won’t be because of the best projects or the most beautiful things, but because we delighted in our kids.

(favorite quote of the entire weekend right there ^^)

… Just because you’re messing up doesn’t mean you’re not cut out for this; it’s just means it’s life.

… We have to prioritize JOY when it comes to our children.  Take time to d e l i g h t in them, let them know how much we love them, enjoy being with them, enjoy their company. We don’t have to be the most fun mom ever, but we can be the most loving mom ever.

…Carve out time for “just because we can” days: 4 times a year or so have a day of having a day off just because you can, and on that day there is one goal: to simply enjoy the presence of your children.  (L O V E this idea)

What I came away with is that motherhood, and education, is about N O U R I S H I N G our children.  Nourishing their souls, their hearts, their minds. It’s not about test grades or performance for the one who rolls their eyes at home educators; it’s about rich nourishment.

Y’all. I’m not the best and I’m not perfect. But nourishing the souls of my children through enjoyment of them, through delighting in them, that I want to do with all my heart. And I think that’s what we all really want, regardless of our decision on education.

Even scientific studies show that nourishment of soul and body as essential keys to a child’s learning and development. It’s the foundation for a good education; loving and delighting in them.

 This school year is only a couple of months in, but the perspective of enjoyment of my children > checklists &  tests is huge for this Type A personality.

The weekend was an encouragement to me in mindset even over education. While that may seem contradictory to some, I think that mindset is essential to a good education. Knowing what to value, and where to place the importance, is so key.

Okay, so that’s the mommy-balm. :) What about the education end of it all ? I’m not going to get into that actually, but I’ll say that although I’m not an unschooler, there are parts of the Wild + Free lifestyle that I definitely incorporate into our education and want to do more of. Education and book learning is very important to me too, but the freedom to  learn from things other than books is something I really value also. Goodness, this is why books have been written by so many authors because just a few paragraphs are never adequate about such a broad subject. ;)

Some people have asked me how I can do the “Wild + Free” aspect of education when we live in the city, because a huge part of that is getting outside, enjoying nature and the outdoors. And I purpose to enjoy nature as part of our education, to get my kids out in it, to experience it. So, we live in the middle of the city with a postage stamp yard that they literally get dizzy running around in, so this is no “Go outside and play, kids!!” This means an intentional taking them to parks, getting out in nature, having passes to local outdoor things where they can enjoy and observe and create and take time to notice, going on family hikes and to nature reserves, etc). My kids are SO HAPPY when they’re outside, and I think that having kids in nature is a necessary part of childhood. The imagination that runs wild in nature is second to none, and that’s not even including the fresh air and exercise for young bodies. We’ve done more nature time and field trips during our two years in our little city house than we have in all the previous years put together, and it’s because we’ve had to be very intentional about doing that.

For us it’s also the valuing of art and music. My kids (except for the baby) are all in art classes once a week by a fabulous teacher, and the girls take music lessons weekly also. Besides that, pulling out art supplies is a frequent thing around the house. In the winter months we have “Watercolor Sundays” where we pull out paints and brushes Sunday afternoons while the boys take naps, and we draw leaves that we found while on a walk, or watch a Youtube tutorial about a new technique for watercolor that we haven’t learned yet. We’re not pro’s at any of this, but I just want them to enjoy learning and developing new skills. And I think that comes from them seeing me trying new things and not doing it perfectly either, but enjoying the process of it anyway!

So really, I just want the best year of school this year, not because everyone scored 100’s on all their tests and because we had the most stunning projects, but because my kids know that I delight in them, that I simply E N J O Y who they are. I want to take the time to look in their precious eyes and tell them, “I am so glad you’re my little boy! You are such a delight to my heart!” or to my daughter, “You are such a joy! Do you know how much I like being with you?” I want to further their education first of all through nourishment of their souls and hearts.

Now after all that, I’m just wanting to sit and chat and hear you talk, because a one-sided conversation isn’t much fun, plus I’m feeling a little rusty on this keyboard and blog thing. ;)

Have you been to a Wild + Free conference, or what kind of education inspires you and lights your fire? I would really love to hear. <3

All photo credits to the fabulous Kelly Lapp Photography 

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Springtime and Conductors of Life-Music.

There is something about springtime that is so absolutely wonderful. The thrill of the vibrant colors after the grey and browns of winter, the song of the birds celebrating the warmth returning, the fresh air bringing soft breezes… it invigorates my very soul, and breathes life and vitality! I just love it!

This was our first winter in the north in ten years, and while we really did enjoy all the snow and even the cold, there is something even more refreshing and exciting when springtime returns in this part of the world!

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And, having a baby in the spring is a wonderful thing. It fits right along with the beautiful new life that is springing up outdoors all around, and I love being able to take little Jack into the fresh air and having him take naps outside in his little basket. It seems so healthy. And I feel a little European. Ha! :)

Just up the street from where we live is a sweet little park with the most beautiful blossom-covered branches, and one evening we spontaneously walked down and snapped some pictures.

Downers: it was past the golden light, the kids just wanted to play, we didn’t have on anything other than what we were already wearing that day (except for Ben who changed out of construction clothes ;)).

Positives: it’s real life right now, it’s not perfect, but it captures us in this beautiful stage we find ourselves in and I love it. Sometimes a quick capture of an imperfect moment is the very best.

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Being in the stage of life again with an infant is a beautiful thing. It brings out a softness and a tenderness in all of us that I haven’t seen in a long time. The girls are natural little mommies, both so different from each other, but both so loving and gentle. Hudson has to be reminded to be gentle and not to suffocate his poor new brother in his loving attempts at brotherhood, but his love is unmistakable and absolutely precious.

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I love watching my husband with his children. He is gentle, he is strong, he is tender, he is firm. He is exactly what we need in a father in our home. And seeing him with little Jack makes my eyes puddle tears. A six-foot, strapping-man, with a little baby less than 11 pounds, held with tenderness and receiving the light of approval and love from his father’s eyes. It’s melting.

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He’s a good, good daddy.

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And a really wonderful husband. I’d pick him again, a million times over.

It’s a miracle, a new little life, and what it can do for the family it enters. I’m a mother four times over now, but each time it is just as amazing and full of wonder as the first time. Maybe even more so.

During the many times I day I sit and nurse my sweet little babe, I’ve been reading Sally Clarkson’s new book, “The Life-Giving Home.” You know how there are certain authors you enjoy, but then there are others that you connect with deeply on almost every page and feel like you could be bosom friends if you’d know each other in real life? Sally and her daughter Sarah, the authors of this book, are like the latter for me.

I read a paragraph that stopped me in my tracks and brought me to tears a day or two ago. This is it:

‘Even as an orchestra needs a conductor to choose the music, lead rehearsals, and unite all of the instruments into a harmonious sound, so every home needs someone who conducts what I call the life music of a home – it’s atmosphere.  The one who conducts it is responsible for bringing out its swelling themes, the steady bass notes, the drama of percussion kept in its place, the soaring melodies and intricate counterparts – all the instruments sounding together in a symphony of grace.

In our home, for the most point, the conductor of life within its walls is me…”

-Clarkson

You see, as a teenager and even in to my 20’s, I lived and breathed music. My parents gave me the gift of learning piano as a young gift, and I loved it. I had amazing teachers who loved Jesus and loved music and inspired me tremendously. I played at wedding and funerals and church and with friends and almost daily – music was such a huge part of my life, and I dreamed of it being something I’d be a part of forever.

And then, God brought a time of stepping away from that, where music was something I still loved but wasn’t involved in, for many years. It was a death of a dream to me, and one I grieved for a long time. But I see so much beauty in it all now – of learning to find life in Jesus, not in what I DO or am known for. This could be an entire book in itself, of all the things the Lord is teaching me. Present tense. Because I’m still learning. :)

But reading this excerpt was incredibly beautiful; my eyes were opened to see that I’m still a conductor of music, just not in the way I ever expected. That my role is vastly important, and the music that speaks so much life to my soul is now a gift I can give to my children; the music of life, the creation of a family, building of a home and of love and of passing on the unending grace the Lord gives me. Oh I fail desperately some days.  The music is awful sounding, and I lead all the wrong ways. But we start again, and I think it will take a lifetime to perfect the song that is our own, only a score of music that our family can write and play, but one that the Lord gave us to be all our own. I want to learn it well, and play it well, and let it be a beautiful sound to those who hear it.

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Dance to it. The music that is your own, given by the life of the Lord within! Live it, embrace it, the life that is given and chosen especially for you. xoxo

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Welcome to our World, Precious Little One…

Baby Jack

We have been delivered of a child!

Welcoming with tears of joy –

Jack Everest

Born March 28, 2016, at 11:53pm
(born on his auntie Ervina’s birthday with just minutes to spare!)

He weighed a big 8 pounds and 15 ounces, and was 21 inches long.

We are overwhelmed with joy at his arrival, and at the precious gift he is to our family!

Jack means “Beloved of God,” and Everest is a symbol of strength and majesty, representing our Father God as well as a picture of manhood. We pray Baby Jack will grow to be a giant of a man in the kingdom of God!

Mama and baby are doing well, and so thankful for life and health for us both.

And a first picture as a family of six!! xoxo

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A Babymoon to San Antonio

I feel like I need to introduce myself again, as I blow off the dust from this blog after, hmmm, 8 months? Hi, I’m Clarita. I used to blog here, ummm, years ago? Remember me? :)

The past months have brought big changes to our family – some wonderful and lovely, some adjustments, some tears, but all in all, we know we are where we are supposed to be. Even if it’s no longer at our beloved Southern Cottage (affectionately known as “The Cottage at 341 South”) but instead at our little city house in the north. Perhaps another post will be about the move, the changes, and what it’s been like for us.

But for today, I’m just going to jump right in as though I never skipped a beat since last July. :)

San Antonio getaway

As the post title suggests, yes, there is a baby coming to our family – and very soon! Actually, a due date of tomorrow, March 19th. :) We are so thrilled about meeting this new little Lovie, and getting to know this active little kick-boxer! We haven’t found out the gender, so that is a huge anticipation as well. Our little guy, Hudson, said that he isn’t going to even like the baby if it’s a girl; that’s how badly he’s hoping for a brother. Thankfully, within the past week he’s reversed his response and said, “Mommy, I’ll be okay if it’s a girl.” Oh, thank goodness.

Ben and I celebrated our 10th anniversary last summer, in June. Just before our big move, and although we spent a lovely 24 hours on the Georgia islands, we wanted to do a little more. Ten years is a big deal!! And so worth celebrating, especially since we not only love each other, but actually like each other more than ever before. :) Being married ten years is fabulous. It only gets better, you guys. It’s the best it’s ever been. Not perfect, since he’s married to ME, but so very wonderful, and I am the luckiest woman ever. Okay, it sounds like I need to write about being married ten years. :) Moving on…. We had talked about a big trip internationally, but guess what. Moving 800 miles, remodeling yet another home, and having 3 kids isn’t exactly the prime time to travel international. Especially when our passports are both expired and we couldn’t have taken a quick trip had a good deal even popped up.

So at 34 weeks pregnant I suddenly realized that we hadn’t planned anything yet, and that if we were going to do something, we had to do it within the next week lest I not be able to fly on a plane anymore! So we did some quick searches, found some amazing deals, and booked our weekend to San Antonio!

San Antonio riverwalk

Riverwalk lush greenery

Riverwalk bridges

I had been there years before (13 years before? Does that make me sound old or what?!) with some friends, so I was as familiar with the city as one can be after a day trip as a 20-year old joy-riding. :) I basically remembered that I LOVED it there, and that was it. But it seemed like a fun place to visit, and it was warm  – a big plus when the weather was predicted to be below ten degrees at home.

And we LOVED IT. My mom, my sisters, my sister-in-law, my friends, and so many people helped with our kiddos to pull the weekend off – it really does take a village, folks. And I’m so grateful for every single person who gifted us by loving on our kids while we were gone!

The Riverwalk was a place we visited, of course. A big tourist attraction, and didn’t seem like a place that locals would go, but just lovely nonetheless.

Riverwalk view Riverwalk theatre Riverwalk bridge Riverwalk and street cards

Riverwalk canal Riverwalk cafes

Both Ben and I love history, so we really enjoyed all the history that is tied in with San Antonio. I knew that the East Coast has a lot of old beginnings, but didn’t remember that Texas did as well. Some of the buildings from the 1700’s were so fascinating to tour, and hearing about the Alamo was even more amazing than it was during my school years. Such a brave, dedicated army that gave their lives at this beautiful spot.

The Alamo

Alamo courtyard Alamo live oak
Alamo tribute

 We got some local recommendations for good restaurants around town, and walked around until late at night, trying to make the most of our few days. My pregnancy has been AMAZING  and the best one I’ve ever had, (thanks to some life-changing supplements) and at 35 weeks in my pregnancy we walked for miles and miles during the few days we were there. It was a great workout. :)

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  The Market San Antonio chapels

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  Gruene

 La Villita was another little area we spent some time in… a very old part of the city. There is so much beautiful Spanish influence there, so many old missions founded in the 1700’s. The bravery of the early pioneers and settlers amazes me, as I think of what it meant for those families back in that day.

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  La Villita grounds

Aaaaaaaand, while we were in Texas anyway, how could we not visit the Magnolia Market? I mean, it was only two and a half hours away. Our whole family loves Fixer Upper, but my husband was very kind to oblige me in my wish to visit the actual place. :)

Magnolia Market

 It really was as amazing as I expected. Chip & Joanna, I love what you guys have done, and are doing!

  Magnolia Market vintage truck

Magnolia Market store Magnolia Market garden Magnolia Market crepe truck

 (I mean, seriously, THE most adorable little crepe truck I’ve EVER SEEN. All the heart eyes. And I loved the collaboration with Magnolia Market and local vendors ~ very noble and inspiring.)

A super fun surprise in my trip was getting to see a dear, sweet friend that I hadn’t seen in years! Not since we’ve both been married and have babies. She is just as beautiful and dear as ever. Lindsay, thank you so much for meeting up!!

Lindsay and me

 And just to document that we visited San Antonio at 35 weeks pregnant, my husband took a few pictures. :)

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So fun to write on this white space again, and I’m looking forward to reconnecting with my friends here again in the future!

For those of you who have written and send messages or commented in the past months, you are so dear. I apologize that I haven’t been able to respond to each person, but your words have been so thoughtful. Thank you.

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New Little Nephews.

It has been a most precious month for me and my family!

First of all, last fall two of my sisters announced their pregnancies, and they happened to be due within a month of each other. :) And then my sister-in-law announced her pregnancy, right around the same time. I mean, seriously. It doesn’t get more fun than that!

There has been so much joy in anticipation of these little babies. I come from a long line of baby lovers, and there are few things are beautiful and precious and that bring such celebration as new little people entering the world!

Introducing: Canon Christopher, and Harrison Jude
(a.k.a. Most Handsome Little Babies on the Planet)

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There was also so much prayer. Because of what happened to my sister’s first baby a year ago, we were reminded that life is such an amazing gift, and that we can take nothing for granted. Often we tend to think if a pregnancy goes past the first trimester then we can breathe a sigh of relief that everything is okay! But each new stage is such a precious gift, and each day is a gift to enjoy and bring life to the little one within.

I’m not even the mother of these new little babies, but I’ll be honest; it was a battle for me with trust vs. fear. We’ve walked through death of a little one with my sister and her husband’s baby, and realize that things do not always go as planned, or as expected. So even for me as a sister walking along with them, it was a constant choice I had to make to not live in fear of what could happen, but rather choose to trust and bring my fears to the Lord through prayer. There were no guarantees that these pregnancies would bring healthy babies full of life. There is never a guarantee in all of life! All we do know is that God is faithful, and that He can be trusted, no matter what we face. Even when what we face is death, and pain, and the deepest sorrow we can imagine.

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Zoe and Olivia with the babies

Watching my sisters walk through their pregnancies has been so amazing. I may be the older sister, but my younger sisters amaze me, and challenge me. Of course they had moments of fear and being afraid of the unknown. Absolutely. But they chose to not stay in that paralyzing grip of fear, even though the outcome was not known. There were times an extra checkup happened, just for peace of mind if a baby wasn’t moving as much as usual. There were times when they asked for prayer because of the fear they felt. When a death has happened so close to you, you don’t just assume everything will be fine. But neither do you need to live paralyzed by fear. Fear can actually be a tool used for deeper trust, for a chance for the tears to fall and the hands to open in an “I choose to trust you, Jesus, even though I don’t know what is going to happen.”

I feel like I have learned so much from my sisters, from their walk of faith and trust through this past year. It’s not every big sister that can say this, but I can: my sisters are some of my heroes. Not because they’re perfect – because not a one of us is! – but because of how they choose to live and not give way to emotions and fears that could be so tormenting. So a shout-out to you beautiful ladies. I’m so proud of you!

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And there is something so amazing about pain. Never in a million years would we ever choose for Little Kenny to have left us so soon. We still miss him, someone we never met or knew in this life.

But pain has a way of teaching us about joy too. Because while a new baby in the family would have been precious and brought joy anytime, after a time of pain, the joy only increases. We are made so much more aware of the gifts we do have, of the gift life truly is. Our heart is stretched to receive joy, to feel the heights of joy, to remember the sacredness of life. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so much from happiness as I did when these two little baby boys were born, and all was well! And seeing my sisters as mothers, and their sacred but wild joy and love… It’s amazing. I can’t even describe it, but it feels like I’m walking on holy ground. The way God can work even in the middle of pain, even because of pain, is just amazing. Only God can do that – cause joy to become even deeper. I see it in my sisters eyes, even my sister who is not yet a mother. There is a deeper awe of the gifts we do have. A realization that life is precious, so so SO PRECIOUS.

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I’m going to cry in my little corner of Starbucks now, just as I started crying when I was edited these pictures. I cannot even tell you how PRECIOUS these little boys are. If a heart could explode from sheer joy and love, we would all be dead and gone. Because there is so much joy and blessings – two little boys who will be almost like twins (born two weeks apart), their mommies were best friends since forever ago (and they never fought: I’m their sister, and even our mother says they never fought. How is that even possible? I’m trying to get my two daughters to catch that memo). It’s just so much wonderful.

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ervina and her baby

It was so special to see these two little boys within a few weeks after they were born, along with my husband’s little nephew, who was born within days of little Canon. His was a bit of a scare, coming more than a month early, and we are so grateful that everything is okay with little Benson. Yes, there are babies everywhere! It’s the most wonderful thing in the world! I only want ten more of my own now.

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Hudson meeting one of his little boy cousins.

  Hudson meets Harrison

And I never expected to have to fight compete with my own daughters about who gets to hold the babies. For real.

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 I finally get to get to be Auntie Clarita! It is even more wonderful than I imagined.

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 So many thanks to those of you who prayed and celebrated with us! What a beautiful thing the body of Christ is!

And now I just want to go kiss these little babies!!

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An Ocean Day in January

One of my sisters and her husband spent a week with us in January! They were escaping the cold of the north, and happened upon a beautiful warm week in the south!

It was a wonderful time with them. Of course, with living far away from my family, it is always so special to be able to spend some time with them! We dream of the day of living near each other!

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One of those days was exceptionally warm, even for us in the south, and so we could not pass up a chance to go to the ocean together, in January of all times! It was a lovely day, and while not exactly toasty, it was very comfortable and the kiddos didn’t even seem to mind the frigidly cold water. Why do children never seem to mind icy water, I wonder?

My children are so blessed with their aunties and uncles. The are so involved in our children’s lives, and intentional about relationships even with these little people. It’s no wonder my children adore them!

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As my daughters grow, it is so special to see a sister-bond develop between them too.
Having a sister is such a precious gift!

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And my very own sister, one of three treasured gifts.

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The day at the ocean was also to celebrate 100 days of school for the girls – Kindergarten and 2nd grade. That day always feels like a milestone, and very throwing a party about! :)

This is a beach we have gone to very often, but never before have we seen sand dollars like we did this day. There were literally hundreds of them, buried just below the surface of the sand. The little guys had so much fun finding them from the tell-tale little air holes in the sand, and collected quite a pile! They were all living, so we did make sure we returned them to the ocean before we left. :)

finding sand dollars
“Wook, mommy! It’s a BABY one!” Hudson was so delighted.

baby sand dollars

100 days of school

Hudson took along his little stick horse – why,  I don’t know. But a lot of energy was burned galloping along the seashore.

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And Zoe, little bookworm, brought along a book. Long-gone are the days when I am able to read a book at the beach (3 kids?!), but I remember how I used to love it, and I love to watch her.

book worm beach girl

 

As you can see, Ervina is expecting a precious little baby! Two of my sisters (Claudia and Ervina) are expecting new babies this spring, and we are just over the moon excited for them! We come from a long line of baby lovers, and we absolutely cannot wait for these precious children to join our family!!
And of course, we had to take a few pictures… The evening was a glowing, golden sunset, and it was so fun to be able to capture this precious time of pregnancy!

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Isn’t she beautiful, and radiant? I love to just watch her, her peace and joy.

Those qualities are fascinating to observe. It’s something intriguing, curious;
making you wonder what is going on within to produce the outward character.

If you have followed my blog for some time, you will remember that a little over a year ago I did a maternity shoot for her, and then that her sweet little boy awoke to see the face of Jesus, rather than the faces of his mommy and daddy.

This past year has been one of incredible sadness and sorrow, of walking depths of pain no parents should ever walk. No parent should ever lose their child, not as a baby, not as a young man.

And more recently, there have been some months of such joy as a new baby is being formed with her, and she feels his/or her kicks and hiccups.  There is no way possible that this baby can ever replace little Kenneth, or take away the loss of their firstborn baby. This is a baby all his own, with his own place to fill, his own joy to give, his own life to live. This little baby is so loved already!

It is truly remarkable what the heart can endure. How it can feel such depth of grief and yet new joy, at the very same moment. I have been in awe of the spirit of Jesus that’s been in my sister and her husband, in the darkest hours of their lives. I cannot even pretend to know what it’s like to lose a child, except I can imagine it must be one of the most agonizing experiences ever to walk through. To see two people I love go through such pain was one of the hardest things I’ve ever faced.

I think of the quote by Corrie ten Boom, and it reminds me of what I’ve seen in them this past year:

“There is no pit so deep, that God’s love is not deeper still.”

It is true. The depth of God’s mercy and grace can never be exhausted.  That doesn’t mean life doesn’t hurt, that the pain isn’t real, that the loss isn’t felt. But it means that God’s grace is there, and HE is there. He has proved His faithfulness to us over and over again, in spite of our own lack of faith, and our times of weakness and despair. We have no boasting of our own to talk about this past year; we’ve been a mess of tears and pain sometimes. But we can tell you about Jesus, and about how He has gently carried us. About His goodness, and how He is a kind Father. We have an amazing God!

This month of March, on the 22nd,  will be one year since Kenny & Ervina’s little son was born, and went on before them. Would you be so kind as to remember them in prayer especially this month? Dates are difficult, and the one year anniversary especially so. I would be so grateful if you did…

Happy weekend, friends!

 

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Posted on

When Little Kids Grow Up.

 

There is something really sad happening around here.
So sad, in fact, that some days I find myself nearly in tears about it all.

My little kiddos are growing up.

black and white

I know, I KNOW. If they wouldn’t be growing it would be even sadder.
There would be something wrong physically.
I know people who would love to be watching their children grow up.
My sister is one of them, and her arms ache daily to hold her little son.

I suppose then, that my sadness comes not from my kiddos growing up, but from the change that is seeming to come to our little family. The awareness of change comes at different stages, when someone new happens, or when someone stops happening.

black and white Zoe black and white skirt

When my babies need to be weaned from their pacifier, there is a knowing that this has GOT to happen. But when it does, my baby suddenly feels like a big kid, no longer a baby.

When Zoe started school I felt the same thing.
“Whaaaaat? My baby is starting school?! How did we get here? I’m not ready to be a school mom! I just want my toddlers back!”
And yet it was exciting too, to see her learn, and be so excited about learning.

Zoe at age 7.

Zoe at seven Zoe girl twirl twirling girl still has all her baby teeth dancing girl

And just recently, it’s been another incident.

The First Lost Tooth.

It was several weeks ago when Zoe first touched her tooth and did the exclamatory,
“It moved!!!!”
And for a week or two that tooth kept wiggling and moving and getting looser.
(Much to my queasy-stomach’s dismay: any other mothers out there that cannot stand to look at a loose tooth? It seriously makes me feel nauseated. I can still clearly remember my own. Ei yi yi.)

We took a few pictures one Saturday, just informally, not getting dressed fancy or going anywhere to do then, but just one last picture time to document All The Baby Teeth. The tooth was so loose at this point that it looked crooked in pictures and we had to keep readjusting it. :)

IMG_1635 little girl

And a few days later, out it popped. We now have a little lisping girl, who goes around singing, “All I want for Christh-math isth my two front teeth…”

 [we did have a very tardy Tooth Fairy. you’d think with it being her first day night on the job and all she’d be on time. but no no no, she didn’t show up until breakfast the morning after. and then she has to answer to questions such as, “Mom! When DID you end up putting the quarter in my jar?”]

smile as sweet as ever

tutus and sparkly shoes sweeties

sisters smile as sweet as ever

It’s adorable, really. This new smile.

And my mommy heart is feeling just a little torn because that means she’s growing up. And while I don’t want her to stay at home forever, in a cocoon in her own little world, I’m realizing that letting her grow up begins now. That every new stage is precious and beautiful, and is not necessarily better or worse: just different.

So today, even though I feel like a sentimental softy mama, I want to embrace this stage with my oldest. Growing up means becoming even better friends. It means she can understand more things, and our conversations can be deeper. It means we can laugh together even more, as we can look at each other and burst out laughing at the same unspoken thing. It means she has the precious opportunity to be at a place to read the Word of God, to spend time with Him, to develop her own relationship with Jesus. These are all such precious things, and part of the richness of growing up. It doesn’t mean it will all be easy: but it means there is incredible potential for spiritual growth, for soul growth, for mental growth, when there is physical growth and change happening.

D.L. Moody once said, “If I could relive my life, I would devote my entire ministry to reaching children for God!”

And that’s where I am on a practical level, daily: devoting my life for my children. But I want it to be so more than that, because if devoting a life to children is the end result, that is far too small. I, and so many other women, are devoting our lives to children (whether our own or someone else’s) because we want to reach them for GOD, as D. L. Moody said.  Not to raise children for themselves, who think the world revolves around them because their parents or caregivers focused only on the children, but to raise children with an awareness of Someone so much bigger than themselves. And to cultivate that awareness into a passion for that Person, Jesus Christ. I am just called to cultivate the soul of their little souls, to plant the seeds of the Gospel, of relationship, and then the Lord brings the sun, the rain, and the harvest of a soul that is surrendered to Jesus Christ.

And that sounds exciting!

But today, I find myself in a mixture of bittersweetness, loving the stage we’re in, and also anticipating what will be coming in the future. I want to treasure these moments. I’ll never again have the Autumn of Twenty-Fourteen with my kids, and I want to squeeze all the little joy-drops out of it that I can.

Happy Wednesday!

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