Mothering – Page 2 – Skies of Parchment

May 5, 2014June 25, 2014

Of Hope and an Anchor.

'we have this hope as an anchor of the soul' chalkboard
This little blog has been very quiet of late.

The circumstances surrounding these days have been such as need no apology for the quiet, and the thoughts and feelings such as are difficult to translate into words. Pen to paper, or words to computer page, are normally how I can easily express myself. These days, articulation is difficult at best in any form.

It is not a question of my faith, or a shaking of what I believe. It is more a deep feeling for those I love so dearly, that are facing such loss in varied ways… It may be a death, or the losing of a family member in other ways that are equally painful. The details are not mine to tell, but probably all of us know of times in our own lives or in those we love, when we suddenly saw life as the battle is really is: the blissful carefree perspective disappeared, and the reality of the sorrow of life nearly takes your breath away, it’s so severe.

Sometimes my heart feels torn in two for those I love, and the how they experience such raw agony. I wish there was some way I could take it away for them, make life happy and carefree again… and I can’t.

anchor of the soul chalkboard

Quote from The Church Initiative, Inc

“Grief will either make you a better person or it will cause you to harden your heart as you resist its lessons. You have the opportunity for unparalleled spiritual growth. This will not happen quickly, but you can grow deeply. By learning that life is a precious gift, you can do more than just exist; you can live on a higher plane.

It was when Isaiah’s friend died that he had a deeper experience of God.

“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another: ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord Almighty; the whole earth is full of his glory'” (Isaiah 6:1-3). ”

[end quote]

…Grief will either make you a better person, or it will cause you to harden your heart…
Yes, I can so see how this is true.
I so much want the first one, to be come a better person, to grow a deeper heart in relationship with God. Grief has a way of revealing what a person is truly made of, and of what truly matters in life – that it’s GOD that matters most of all, that life here on earth is so transient, so short, in light of eternity. And it’s PEOPLE and relationships that matter…

There are days when I wake up and feel that I could never be exasperated or upset with my kids again – I mean, how could I be, when I’ve been given three of them as such precious treasures, when some women long for even just one baby of their own?

And then, that very same day, real-life happens.
…Food gets strewn all over the floor at lunch time (and maybe even breakfast).
…Little guy cleans off the chalkboard so sweetly with a wet paper towel, and I suddenly realize that the only water he can reach is the toilet! So into the bathtub he goes, along with his sister who needed a bath anyway.
… I hear water splashing outside, and try to think of when and how I left a faucet on somehow. I look out the door and see the two freshly-bathed kiddos splashing in mud-puddles they’ve made, jumping and laughing, and muddy from head to toe.

And this all happened, for real, in one day. Disasters? Not at all. Exasperating? You betcha!!

Never becoming exasperated again? Maybe that will start tomorrow. :)

It’s in these times ~ in the great heartbreaks of life, of deep loss, of pain to the core of our beings, of relationships that are imperfect and painful, and yes, also in challenges of mothering when I’m brought to ~~near~~ tears – I realize so much how I need my Anchor.

anchor chalkboard mantel

I changed out the chalkboard in the living room recently with the verse that’s been on my heart so much the past six weeks, through various heartbreaking things we’ve lived through and heard, and through the daily responsibility and gift of being mommy to three little people.

“…It is impossible for God to ever prove false or deceive us, so we who have fled to Him for refuge might have mighty indwelling strength and strong encouragement to grasp and hold fast the hope set before us.

“We have this hope, as an anchor of the soul, sure and stedfast…”
[Hebrews 6:18-19, Amplified]

What hope? The hope of Jesus Christ, the truth, and the knowledge that He IS everything I need. He never promised that life wouldn’t disappoint, or that circumstances wouldn’t be hard. But He did promise that HE would never disappoint us.

I don’t profess at all to know the great “why?” behind so many questions… The why of little babies born to a godly father and mother who wanted them, who prayed for them, who would teach them in the ways of God, and then tragically taken. The why of babies born out of sin and lust, put into families that are full of the flesh, that are determined to live their own way no matter what God says, and living in the midst of sin. The why of babies born and growing up, sold into the sex trade (1 million every year). The why of families enduring pain as the result of a father making bad choices, and the innocent are left to suffer and pick up the broken pieces. The why of health challenges, of sickness that is incurable.

Did you know that many atheists have come about not as a mere logical conclusion, but as a result of being angry at God, for all the sin in the world? And so they deliberately turn their backs on Him, refusing to have anything to do with a God who tolerates such pain in His created world.

I don’t profess to know the answers to these hard questions. I just know that I cry tears as a result of this sin in the world, of the pain and brokenness. And I am don’t understand how God can respect the free will of man, even when it results in such sorrow and disaster. But I know that sin is responsible for all the sadness and agony in the world: this was not God’s design.

But can I trust God in the middle of all this? In the wreckage of humanity? In the sorrow of loss?

It comes down to a belief: Either God IS who He says He is, in every situation, or He isn’t. He is either faithful and trustworthy at all times, or none of the time. He is either kind and good in all things, or in nothing.

I choose to put ALL my stakes in with the first – He IS trustworthy in everything, He IS good at all times, He IS God.

anchor chalkboard

Because He is an Anchor. When life brings storms and everything is torn apart, He never changes. He gives peace, even when it seems unfathomable that there should be peace. He brings comfort in sorrow. and we grieve with hope because we know HE will have the last word, and this life isn’t the end of the story.

And if you want a beautiful, powerful song to listen to, go here. Music ministers so deeply…

Happy Monday, my friends! Rejoice in the Anchor of our souls!

And thank you, truly truly thank you for the great outpouring of love and support we’ve felt from so many people – through words on the previous blog post, messages, texts, but also cards and love and even food brought to us and to my family. The family of Christ is just so precious. We could never repay you. ♥

signature

February 5, 2014

A Faux Snow Day.

Down here in the Deep South, we are rather in amazement at all the arctic weather we hear about and see pictures of, all within a day’s drive due north.

Here? We just spent a happy weekend at the coast with friends, and are having weather in the 70’s and 80’s. It’s… nice. :)

But I would be lying if I’d say I don’t miss the snow. I spent the first few years of my life in the tropics of Central America, and after that, in the Northeast United States. Some of my favorite childhood winter memories include snowfalls and winter wonderlands and hot chocolate warming frozen fingers and making snow forts and snow tunnels and snow men with my dad and sisters and all kinds of things involving SNOW!

I have to admit to a bit of wrestling with contentment this winter. It’s very probable that if you’re a “transplant” of any kind, you may feel as though your kids miss out on what you knew as a kid, to a certain degree. I’m not mad I live where I do… It’s just that it makes me sad that my kids don’t know what a real snowfall is like, or what it’s like to be snowed in! [Yes, I’m a real snow-lover, with no shame at all about it. :)]

And if you’re a transplant yourself, you may feel similar feelings, only with your particular memories in mind. If you experienced a happy childhood, you just want your kids to have a similar experience. Funny thing is, if we ever moved north, my southern husband would probably think his kids are missing out on southern things! :)

Sometimes, the grass looks greener somewhere else.
Or, in my case, sometimes the snow looks more appealing than 70 degrees. :)
And sometimes, I just have to CHOOSE joy, no matter what the circumstances are.
I don’t know about you, but joy isn’t something that necessarily comes hunting me down:
it’s a perspective I must choose, even in the midst of what I think are less-than-perfect circumstances.

For me, joy is a trust that God’s ways are perfect, that He is good, and His heart for me is kind; and that even when things don’t make sense, I can still trust HIM. Out of that spills joy – the knowledge that God knows best [for me and my kids, and they’re not missing out!] and He sees the bigger picture.

It’s a lesson I only have to learn, well, every day. :)

So, just for fun this year, on one particular day when my family [who lives in the arctic weather] was having yet another 8 inches of snow, I declared a snow day here. Yep, right here in the Deep South. There was nary a flurry in sight, or even the hopes of one, but thankfully it was cool enough to build a fire in the hearth, so I gathered the kiddos around and told them snow stories of when I was a little girl. And I told my wide-eyed children that some people get to have snow days, when it snows so much they can’t even go to school or to the store, and they stay home and have fun. [Right, northerners-with-cabin-fever? :) ] And we had ourselves a snow day! *insert cheers and hurrays*

We read stories, like The Long Winter, the kids played and colored pictures and couldn’t believe the great idea of their mother, and we pretended we were in a blizzard. :) It was just the most fun ever!

So where does this “faux snow” come from, you may wonder? Well, places like Target or Michaels sell a generous bag of faux snow [‘faux’ rhymes with ‘snow’] for $1.99, so we opened up a bag leftover from Christmas and had us a little snow fall. :) The pictures were taken on Christmas Eve, our snow day was two weeks ago, and I’m just now writing about it. :) – thus the Christmas décor (which is still up on my front porch, actually: I just cannot bear to take it down).

I absolutely loved the kids faces on these pictures ~ Zoe especially. When she’s thrilled out of her mind, she laughs. And she was laughing and laughing during this little snow play. ♥

And they were having faux-snow much fun, I had to join them! This little spur-of-the-moment snow fun will be one of the best things of the Winter of 2014 for us! It really IS the little things. :)

And what do you know, we made [faux] snow memories, even in the south! :)

May your day be sweet, as you choose joy this day.

Postscript: Just a reminder that this is the last day of the Chalk Shop giveaway! The winner will be chosen and notified tomorrow.

November 15, 2013November 15, 2013

Surprised by Jesus.

First all, I want to say a huge THANK YOU for all the kind words & comments & messages & helpful advice on the previous post. I cannot even tell you how blessed I felt by every single one! Time hasn’t allowed me to respond to each of you so far, but know that I so appreciate you all. Wow. I know surgeries like this happen all the time and I was feeling like an over-protective mother, and your words encouraged me SO much. You will really have no idea!!

*****************

Zoe said something the afternoon of her surgery that pretty much sums up how this week has been for all of us. We had come home, but she was still too weak to walk around alone. But in the middle of all of that she said,

“Mommy, I was surprised by Jesus today. You told me this would be a time when I would know how much Jesus will take care of me: AND HE DID!!”

I don’t think my mommy heart has ever swelled so big. Tears splashed out of my eyes, and we hugged each other tight.

That is just our Jesus: to take something scary and unknown, and turn it into something beautiful. Jesus didn’t just help her be brave through it all; He showed her Himself, and His great love. I was blown away.

Just a bit of surgery recap, for those who are interested…

// the night before the surgery, another journal entry by Zoe:
“I am having surgery tomorrow. I am trying to be brave.
I hope I will know that God is with me!”
// hashtag meltmeinapuddle //

Zoe, Ben, & I arrived at the hospital at 6am Tuesday morning. Zoe took along her favorite little stuffed animal (yep, she’s a stuffed animal lover), and we were in various waiting & hospital rooms for the next about two hours, with nurses in and out.

// 6 o’clock A.M, in the hospital //

surgery 213

// the cutest little kid i ever saw in a hospital gown and cap //

surgery 214

We prayed together, we read stories , Zoe & I painted our nails together. We talked about how Jesus would take care of her and be with her,even when we weren’t there. “Jesus is inside of me, and that’s really close to me!” she laughed. It was a calm feeling, and Zoe had not one trace of fear. It was amazing. I thought of the people who were praying for her and realized again how powerful prayer really is.

// painting our nails a matching color //

surgery 219

// a little gift from the hospital which was immediately loved upon by Zoe //

surgery 223

surgery 230

Then came the hard part: kissing Zoe goodbye, ME – not her – trying to hold back the tears as we watched the four nurses roll her little bed down the long hallway, her little blonde head bravely peeping over the top. *deep breath*

In that moment I thought of the many mothers & fathers that I know that have done that – and often in much harder situations than this. Yes, there are risks with a tonsillectomy, but it’s still SO minor compared to say, open-heart surgeries, or brain operations, or surgeries because of legs not growing properly, or… Wow. Letting go of your child in that moment is so difficult!! I have new sympathy for parents like that.

Then Ben & I waited another 45 minutes, watching the screen that said “Number _____ in surgery.” It’s a surreal feeling.

A super neat thing during that waiting time was when a dear friend of ours, a nurse, came out and let us know she would be there for the surgery and helping in the recovery room.

We were allowed to be with Zoe almost as soon as she was out of surgery and in the recovery room. She was still out from the anesthesia, and had an oxygen tube right by her mouth. Within 10 minutes she was waking up, and I was so glad we could be there for that!

The nurses showed us her tonsils in a jar, and said they were some of the largest they’ve ever seen. Not gonna lie – seeing my daughter’s body parts in a jar was a little too much for me to handle. I have a vivid imagination, and just picturing what her poor throat must be like after slicing those giant-marble-sized tonsils out…. Well, it wasn’t one of my finest moments! Yikes. Enough about that!

She drank some juice, ate a popsicle, was transferred to another room, and very soon we were being discharged and headed home!

The rest of this week has been so much better than I ever expected in many ways. There has been no hemorrhaging so far, something I was really scared about. She is on pain medication every four hours, day & night, ever since we brought her home, and if I’m late giving it she started hurting pretty bad. But while on schedule with the pain meds, she really isn’t in pain. Discomfort and some weakness, yes, but not pain. It’s amazing.

We’ve read lots of books, watched just a few little movies (Anne of Green Gables is still on hold at the library :( ), and really spent a lot of time with each other. Zoe’s love language is quality time, and is she ever loving all this one-on-one time! :)

Although she’s pretty much been on the sofa since Tuesday, she’s been able to drink well and has been okay eating soft food, still mostly cold (thanks for all the great suggestions with food & drinks on the post before this ~ that was SO helpful!).

Little Sis Olivia is really milking the system too… Ice cream whenever Zoe wants it?
Well, of course she needs some too!
And applesauce for supper? Yes please, I’ll take some!
Yummy juice drinks & protein shakes? Don’t forget about me!!
:)
And so she’s included in it all too, because I want it to be a fun week for everyone.

// ice cream has become nearly as common as drinking water :) //

Surgery 2 036

And we have been BLOWN AWAY by the kindness of people in our life. Blown away. They have been the loved of God with skin on! Zoe has loved the visitors, and had ice cream and balloons and a little stuffed princess bear brought to the door, and the mail delivery almost every day since then has brought more surprises than any little girl would ever dream of! Olivia thinks having surgery sounds like a blast, and has made wistful comments about wishing she could have HER tonsils removed. Ha!

// we decided this would be home-ecky-becky week 101 //

Surgery 2 009

Surgery 2 019

The recovery time is two weeks, which is longer than I realized it would be. That means no running, no hard playing, nothing that really gets the heart-rate up and pumping fast. That will be the hard part, because this little girl is a tomboy! And sitting still that long won’t be easy. She can return back to school studies next week, and people have given great gifts for a long recovery – a puzzle, bead set, coloring books, little cooking projects, writing activities & art projects. I’m not even joking, we have the best friends anyone could ever ask for!! It is so humbling to be cared for so very much. I’m so wowed. And Zoe keeps saying, “They are just SO KIND! I can’t believe they gave this to me!”

// Grandma came over with a sweet package of fun little games //

surgery 244

// special delivery: balloons and a bear from our church ♥ //

Surgery 2 002

// fun glasses make smoothies taste even better //

surgery 242

It has been so very precious to see how God has used an experience like a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy to boost the faith of a six-year old little girl. He has taken something that could have been terrifying and scarring into something that has instead been huge building blocks of her own little walk with God.

This week it seems like her walk has gone from believing that Jesus loves her to experiencing that He really does. Soon after the surgery she asked me, “Mommy, can we thank Jesus for helping me be so brave?” She doesn’t take credit for the bravery ~ she knows it was Jesus.

And I love that He didn’t just help her be brave: He showed her more of Who He is. He showed her that He takes good care of her! I love that!

Before I had kids of my own I never would have known that a little child can have a relationship with Jesus. Now that I have children? I’m completely amazed. It is no wonder that Jesus said we must have the faith of a child to enter the Kingdom of Heaven!

Thanks again for all the love, prayers, & care! It has meant so much. The family of Christ means more to me all the time!

November 11, 2013November 11, 2013

Tomorrow.

When Ervina comes to visit 138

These children? They are actually the real teachers.

One of the first times I realized this was when Zoe was around two years old. I had specifically been praying about how to teach her to pray, because I felt that I was very weak in that area. And how do you teach something that you are still learning?

I was outside one morning, hanging out laundry (yes, those are by-gone days), and I heard a little voice talking, but I couldn’t see her. Walking around, I saw my little daughter sitting on the grass, hands folded, praying with words that weren’t even all intelligible. “I pray, Mommy,” she lisped, and I stepped back softly. This was holy ground, and I didn’t want to interrupt a sacred time.

My eyes filled with tears, because I remembered my prayers, and realized that God was filling in the cracks for me. I’m not a perfect parent – I never will be a perfect parent. And it’s for that that we need Jesus – because we cannot do it on our own, and we cannot turn the heart of a child to her Savior. Only the Spirit of God can do it.

When Ervina comes to visit 015

Since that day several years ago, she still challenges me in prayer. If she has a bad attitude, often all I need to say it, “You need to go talk with Jesus, Sweetie.” And she’ll go into her bedroom, and soon I’ll hear a little voice with tears in it, words tumbling out on top of each other, sometimes angry, sometimes upset, sometimes sorrowful, but talking with Jesus. And most times when she comes back out, her heart is calm and peaceful. Sometimes I need to still talk something out with her, but many times, that’s all it takes. I’m so amazed at how the Spirit of God can work in a heart so young.

[post interrupted because of a case in point :) ]

Recently she’s taken to journaling a bit. My sisters and I are all the journaling type. Not necessarily every day, but often a few times a week. So if she sees me writing in mine in the morning, she will often sit beside me with her own little journal and pen.

Looking through that little book feels like snooping to me, but she doesn’t seem to mind. This particular entry blessed me so much, because I know it’s not something I can manufacture in her. Her little heart is so fully trusting in the goodness of God! It is such a privilege to be taught by these precious little children.

PicMonkey Collage

“God is my God. He will not harm me, but He loves me.”

Tomorrow, Zoe is having surgery for a tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy. From the time she was a wee girl, she’s had such trouble with strep throat and awful allergies, among other things. Doctors gasp at the size of her big tonsils. I know the surgery is one that will help her in the long run, but today, I have a queasy feeling in my stomach at the thought of a knife being taken to my baby.

She’s being so brave, but this morning we sat and cuddled for a long time on the sofa, she talking and asking questions, and me trying not to cry when she says she’s scared. Truth is, I’m scared too! I wish it were me instead of her. The hardest part is not being able to be with her until she’s sleeping, and being scared about hemorrhaging afterward…

So, if you could pray for Zoe [okay, and her mommy!] on Tuesday morning, we would be grateful! It’s an out-patient surgery, so we will be back home sometime tomorrow.

When Ervina comes to visit 159

The rest of the week I’m just expecting to lay low, read lots of books, introduce Zoe to “Anne of Green Gables” and any other idea you may have to keep a six-year old occupied on the sofa for a few days??

Also, the nurse told me to feed her popsicles & ice cream until she can eat food with texture again. And while I’m not a health nut, that just sounds like a tummy ache to me! Do any of you know of other smooth textured-foods that would be safe & at least somewhat nutritious?

When Ervina comes to visit 177

Thank you in advance for your prayers, your helpful advice :) and care! I wish you all a lovely week!

September 11, 2013September 11, 2013

The Last Drops of Summertime.

In just a few days it will be autumn, and while I LOVE the fall season,
I’m also enjoying these last droplets of summertime.

Besides, it’s 95 degrees outside. Pumpkins and orange leaves just don’t work in the deep south yet! And by the time I start fall decorating, everyone will be finished and posted pictures and then I’ll have all kinds of great ideas to browse. :)

So here’s a few little snippets of our last little bit of summer, Twenty-Thirteen.

Happy Announcements.
My sister Ervina made the wonderful announcement that I’m going to be an auntie! Actually, she said she’s going to be a mommy, but, it’s the same thing. :) I’m so so so excited for her and her husband!

Silly Girls.
Quite likely their source of inspiration came from their excitement about their little cousin on the way. “When is him going to come out of them tummy, mom?” – Olivia

sweet days of summer 007

Tender Hearts.
As a mother, my job is huge. Some days, overwhelming. And I wonder if I maybe missed the boat that went to a convent, because life sure would be a lot easier!! But no, life is just as it should be, and being a mother is exactly where I want to be. And finding little love notes like this make it all worth it. I am so humbled when I see how Jesus can work and move in small children. He is not limited to the intellect and fully understanding – truly, to enter the Kingdom of God there must be the faith of a child.

sweet days of summer 013

A boy that melts me in a puddle.
I just never ever knew that a little boy could absolutely slay me. SLAY ME. I don’t know what it is about him – other than that he’s our son – that completely melts me, but I am undone by him. He’s got his daddy’s crystal-blue eyes, and a funny little sense of humor, and he nods his head so emphatically, and he still loves his paccy, and he can throw a ball better than his sisters, and he has the most adorable pair of red converse shoes. I want ten of him, please.

sweet days of summer 039

sweet days of summer 037 sweet days of summer 002

Great Honors.
Our dining room was featured on the Pottery Barn blog!! I was completely blown out of the water when someone contacted me to ask if they could use my pictures. I’m super super honored.

The funny thing about it all, that I just keep laughing about to myself, is that I’m all about decorating on a budget. Pottery Barn is a huge source of inspiration for me in decor, along with Anthropologie and Restoration Hardware, but the reality is – we can’t afford to buy much of anything from them! So this chandelier is a real Pottery Barn Celeste Chandelier, but we found it on craigslist for far below asking price. So our craigslist Pottery Barn chandy was featured on their blog. :)

Our dining room featured in the Pottery Barn blog! The Celeste Chandelier in a Charming Cottage Dining Room

Mantel Greenery.
This will probably be the last of summertime on the mantel. Next change out will be autumn, but for now I’m still loving the green and whites of summer, along with a collection of candlesticks.

sweet days of summer 021

sweet days of summer 017

I also changed the red panels back to white in the living room, and added more natural accents. I think I finally found what works in there, or, what I like best. Whites, creams, and a pop of red.

sweet days of summer 049 sweet days of summer 022

Friendships.
Maybe it’s because I miss my sisters so much, or because I need friendships more than ever, but I have been so blessed with some dear women in my life. Recently we’ve done dinner out, thanks to our kind husbands and a newly-opened Panera Bread, and other things, just to know we care about each other. I’m so grateful. ♥

Thinking.
This quote grabbed me, source unknown.

forgiveness

The preciousness of life.
With the loss of my beloved friend nearly a year ago, life has been so different for me since then. Not only the intense ache of missing her, and the loss of doing life together with such a precious friend, but even today, life as I know it. 10 months later, sometimes it feels as though the grief is still only beginning.

As I kiss my children goodnight, I wonder if there will be a tomorrow for us? When I say goodbye to a friend, will there be a next time? I don’t want to live in fear, and I don’t think I am. But the reality is that tragedy touches everyone, at some point. Not one person is exempt from saying goodbye, either their own goodbye or to someone they love. It makes Heaven seem all the more like Home, our real Home. But for today, I want to treasure this moment… It’s a gift.

Mail Delivery.
I got a package in the mail one day, and when I opened it it made me cry. The quote by a favorite actess, the thoughtful kindness, the lovely gift – it was all so timely, on a day when my heart needed it. Aimee creates the most amazing work at Aimee Weaver Designs, and is the beautiful soul behind it. ♥

sweet days of summer 028

sweet days of summer 026

Girly Things.
I love to see pink little toes on girls. It shows they have someone who takes the time to just sit and be with them. And it makes them feel all special and stuff. :)

sweet days of summer 047

And next week, I’m so looking forward to time with my far-away Pennsylvania family!

Live in His Sweet Grace today…

p.s. Just a reminder that the giveaway for A Farmer’s Daughter is still going until midnight on Friday night!

August 22, 2013August 22, 2013

Perfectly Imperfect.

You know all those perfectly manicured lawns?
Those living rooms with the perfectly arranged pillows, and the lamps with the shades that are never tilted?
The flowers that never wilt, the floors that are always perfectly waxed?
And even my own pictures where everything is perfect?

Well. I think those are prepared just for the magazines. :)

Life at the Cottage at 341 South?
It’s perfectly imperfect.
And you know what?
I love it.
Okay, to be honest: most days. :)

That in itself is a tribute to the continual workings of a gracious Lord in a perfectionist woman, that I can learn to enjoy life amid the mess.

If you’ve read here for any bit of time, you know that I also have designated clean-up times each day. But we also have designated play time and learning times.

We do some hot breakfasts, but I also am teaching the girls to get their own cereal some mornings.

Some mornings? It seems like an epic fail.

a game of puddles 004 a game of puddles 003

But those are also the mornings where little girls learn – simple things like competence, little things like how fast to pour the milk, good things like cleaning up a mess, but hopefully most of all, the ability to laugh at oneself even when we make mistakes.

Those designated play times?

We don’t always know where in the house the kiddos will end up. My shower time was stalled one evening when I came upon this.

perfectly imperfect 007 perfectly imperfect 003

And I just laughed. Little girls are trying to create a home, learning to make something cozy and cute, and eventually putting things away neatly at the end. :)

My windows that always have little finger prints all over them?
It’s a sign that I have a healthy little boy who is walking around everywhere, learning and discovering, looking out the window at the squirrels and birds, and best of all, the return of his daddy.

Zoe is Six! 184 Zoe is Six! 185

The floor that could be mopped every day [it isn’t] and still be dirty?
It’s because there is LIFE in this home, and children growing and thriving.

The legos and Little Kelly’s and Polly Pockets that seem to be lying in wait everywhere for some unsuspecting foot and a yelp of surprise?
They are there because imaginations run wild, and little girls learn to make play rather than having to be entertained.

It’s perfectly imperfect.
Some days those magazine houses look tempting.
Some days I’d like them for at least an hour.

But I wouldn’t trade my Works of Art for those homes anyday.
My Works of Art are real people.
We’re together, we are a family.
Today, we get to enjoy each other, living and breathing.

What a gift is this perfectly imperfect life!
It’s really a reminder of how much I’ve been given.

So today, instead of frustration:
thankfulness for the creativity of my children,
gratitude for health and life,
laughter for those bumbling learning efforts,
kisses to wipe away those crocodile tears,
patience, because I was once a child too…

signature

August 19, 2013August 19, 2013

a game of puddles.

I think people have it all wrong.
I don’t think we’re living in the Deep South:
I think we’re living in a rainforest!

a game of puddles 156

The last two months it has rained every day except for one day.
EVERY DAY.
No matter if there is a bit of sunshine, it will rain at some point.
Most likely even pour, not just sprinkle.
It’s dumping rain as I write!

It was okay for the first week or two.
And then I was getting a little tired of it.
But, I do love {love} rain, and a rainy day is SO cozy, and now?
It’s just an expected thing.

Well. Last weekend we had some more rain, but a bit heavier and faster than some showers.
This was a downpour that lasted quite a while, and after it stopped raining, I wanted to see the damages.

We live right across the street from a park, and I could tell it was flooded. And I wanted to explore a bit. So I rounded up the kids, and even though they weren’t too thrilled about going outside where everything was so wet when they could stay in a clean dry house, they came along.

a game of puddles 019

a game of puddles 021

The intentions were to just dip a few toes in the puddles, er, flood.
But there was a little slip, a little oops, and well,
since the park doesn’t flood every day, so enjoy it let’s make a memory!
[yes, I did check for power lines and other dangerous things. :)]

Scene 1. The Slip.

“I’m WET! Maybe I should cry?”

a game of puddles 028

Scene 2: “Actually, this will be fun after all!”

a game of puddles 035

Scene 3: “Living wild & free!”

a game of puddles 152

a game of puddles 150

I have to admit, when I allowed the girls to get into the water I felt some “bad mommy” feelings. Like, who allows their kids to play around in brown water? And what will people think of that?? And I know there are people who totally gross out over things like that, in a horrified manner. I’ve been there, I’ve been that horrified mother. And I’ve also seen other spasming mothers.

But I don’t want to be a “sanitized & safe” mom, one that is so ever-protective that kids can’t explore and live and do crazy [within reason! ha!] things. What a boring childhood I would have had if my parents hadn’t allowed me liberty within reasonable boundaries. And yet, it’s kind of scary, you know?

a game of puddles 204 a game of puddles 264

And when we were leaving the park, after playing for a long time, and getting a lot of crazy looks from passers-by, and I heard the girls say, “This was SOOOOOOO fun, Mom. I can’t wait to tell Daddy!” I knew it was worth it. The extra-scrubbing and sanitizing that would have to follow this little outing. The extra work of cleaning up and dirty clothes. And even the wondering what the people thought who passed by (and there was a lot of rubber-necking!).

a game of puddles 081 a game of puddles 073

a game of puddles 075

That all really didn’t matter. What mattered is that my kids had a great time. What matters is that they made a great memory. What matters is that we laughed so hard and had a fun afternoon.

We did all have a great time.

And it was a good reminder to me to just be spontaneous,
to let go of some of my preconceived ideas of what good mothers do or don’t do,
to not be paralyzed because maybe other mothers would never do this particular thing;
but to let go, let loose, and simply be the mother God made ME to be ~

and to allow some unexpected fun in the way of a game of puddles. :)

a game of puddles 026 a game of puddles 102